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erdna1 — Sheridan Page 1
Published: 2010-01-30 01:00:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 2354; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 29
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Description
Here's page 1 of a Zombie comic I wanted to make, feauturing Sheridan (the driver). This is just a short 4 page story to test some techniques on style and storytelling.EDIT:
Please leave your comments on storytelling and dynamics of each scene, anatomy and perspective, and everything else you feel it's not fine.
For a better sense o story here's page 2 [link]
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Comments: 43
In the first panel it would have been great to place some rocks to the right in the foreground, with cow's skull on them.
Those details enrich scenes.
Best for you!
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Good stuff man, as always. I don't have any complaints about this page. I really like the fact that it's obvious how much time you take to add all the details, and they don't look rushed. Also, I really like the perspective of the console in the 2nd panel. Please tell me you used a reference and didn't draw the steering wheel in perfect perspective from memory.
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Not that I think using reference is bad, but I didn't use for that one. Crossed severall references to draw the truck, but when drawing it didn't use any, drew it all from memory. Thanks a lot man.
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Haha, well then kudos to you sir. No matter how many times I study something, I usually ALWAYS have to stop drawing to look at a reference for a particular part, unless it's something I've drawn a thousand times.
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Sometimes i also do that, but fortunatly I've got a good memory... other times I'm just to lazy and make things up. hehe
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Comic style and flow is far from my specialty, so my feedback is more about personal taste for what might work.
The first frame is fine, though maybe a wider scape of the land would emphasize a desert outpost feel, unless it's covered on an earlier page.
The second could have more impact from a more angled shot, either below or above. Or possibly a closer view.
In the third the stiff and straight road gives it a more static and stationary feel, which doesn't rhyme with a moving truck. Angling it to the right could help that maybe.
In the fourth I think the angle of his eyes does not seem as low as that which the rest of his face suggests. On the last frame i think if you kept his head low and a down angle it would look more sinister.
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Thanks for the feedback, I'll keep it in mind.
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haha, this reminds me of "Zombieland" looks great, like the perspectives and anatomy! You can draw inanimate objects well
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cough *woman* cough
Sure thing!!!
hehe sorry, my icon might suggest I'm a guy but WHATEVER lol
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Sorry, yes the icon suggests it. Again, I'm sorry, so here it goes again: Thanks woman!
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Yeah !! I like it !
You've got a solid clean line and your storytelling work well in this page !
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I don't have any real "critiques" on this, per say. I think it would be interesting to have the radio murmuring something in the second panel. I like the first panel, and maybe on the second page, a little more angry looking zombies?
What I really want to know is how you do your comic style! Is this completely digital? Or all inked? Do you have any tips for prospective sequential artists?
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About the radio, on my script I wrote: 'radio playing ZZ Top's 'Gimme all your loving', but I left it to add later, toghether with dialogue. How I did it it's simple, no secrets: roughs with a Derwent 3H pencil, only the basic anatomy (location of eyes, nose, fingers and other minor stuff) and then I drew directly over those roughs with a Micron pen 0.1, adding all the details as I was drawing. In the end I used a 0.3 pen to highlight a few thins. About tips, read this [link] , very helpfull, and then practice as if the world was gonna end tomorrow. It's all I did till now. Keep working and have fun! Thanks!
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Ahh, ok. So, have you ever tried digital comic books? I'm looking into that (for the sake of saving my paper), but thank you for your tips!
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I'm trying somethings on digital now, but i still prefer to draw on paper. No problem, anytime.
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Fun! I have to say, paper is easier to convey what you want across.
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You asked for the narrative so I'm going to ell you the story I see. First The truck is driving on the road, I'm not sure but I think he's hauling a trailer home. The second Image is like an intro to the character which doesn't really say much about him(other than he's a southern type trucker who smokes) Next is a crowd of people on the middle of the road, you can't tell wether or not there is a commotion or why exactly they are in the middle of the street. The driver then focuses on the crowd to see what's going on ahead. And in the last Image he i grinning in a way that makes me think he's just gonna go on a road rampage squishing the people ahead. The artwork looks great so I'm not gonna comment much on that. and I understand that being a zombie comic the crowd is definitely a horde and his look definitely tells me he's going to kill some zombies. I think this is a real good start for your comic book story. Very nice 
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You read my page completely right, I'm amazed! Every word you said is correct, every last one of them. You guessed it right, and there's a link to the second page, so you can see your prediction come to life. Either you have a great eye or I did things right. Or maybe a little of both. And thanks a lot.
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Your welcome and thanks for the complement
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Looks good to me. The lines are clean and I like the variety in perspective from panel to panel. The scene also follows one of the basic premises of storytelling very well: starting from big to small. Without even knowing the story, it at least gives a feel for situation. I'm curious to see what the actual text is. Finally, a question: is this inked digitally or by hand?
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Thanks man. I drew it using a Micron 0.1, all by hand. I also used a 0.3 for a few thicker lines.
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Beautiful lines! 
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Thanks man. I don't really know any tip... It's just a lot of practice really. Dp you have any specific question?
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what pens you use ? just tell some with details.
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I do some roughs, loose pencils with a 3H Derwent pencil, with minor details, just to make sure basic anatomy and perspective are as correct as I can. I barely use a ruler, only when I'm having troubles with some big lines. Then I start drawing with the pen, that is a Micron 0.1, which I use to make almost everything. The only exception are the thicker lines that highlight some elements, for which I use a Staedtler 0.3. And that's it I guess.
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yea i guess i got it, just problem is that such pencils and pens are not available in my area.
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if you can find other brands try them. I've used other pens and pencils in the past, there are more that work fine too.
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Maybe. If you can get one with 0.1 the results might be similar. I say maybe because I never used one, so I don't know for sure...
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Stationery shop owners don't have enough knowledge here in local shops
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Well, just try with what you have.
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I notice that you're only posting 3 pages of 3 different storyline ideas you have,b ut you aren't getting anywhere else with each. Are you doing this for marketing purposes, or are you just having so many ideas in your head that you want to get them all out?
My advice is to just focus on finishing one story at a time. It's hard to shelve your ideas, but you've gotta deliver the story to your audience in a timely manner. I've had to shelve a lot of good ideas while I'm working on Ailevian.
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There are severall reasons for me to be doing this. Marketing could be one of them, as a sample of my ideas, but is not one the top reasons. Reason number one is simple: I'm still not good enough to go on the long run with something. I've done it already with a 45 page story and 20 page that I'm not happy with, so since October that I've been trying to improve that, using short stories with various types of characters and environments to test things. I'm reading books and trying to get comments from professionals (I've got a few so far), that along with all other comments (like yours) are making me improve a lot (I think). If I started a book with 40 pages a month a go, the last pages would be better than the first, so I'm trying to establish my art more before going on a long run again. Though now I'm feeling more comfortable to do it, but with my new job things will slow down a bit now. So, don't worry, I know that I'm jumping around like a crazy, but this will allow me to establish myself on something with a lot more security. Thanks
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Well, I'm not good enough to be doing Ailevian, but I do it anyway because I love the story. I'm different then you and I'm not saying you should, but I think that you are an amazing artist, and definitely worth people's while. If they read MY story, for goodness sakes they'd flock to yours.
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I'm just taking my time, because I've also sent some samples to Marvel and if things go right, I want to be ready.
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Oh wow! Well, good luck to you. I hope that goes well.
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