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EpicLinkSam — Ragsuna Monthly #0 Pilot
Published: 2017-08-09 20:13:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 1963; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 1
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Description
Thought i'd try something because of all the Ragna and Asuna sprites I have.Currently there is no set schedule, but I hope to at least get one out every month.
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Comments: 520
Me: Huh, Ragsuna eh? Fuck it I'm with it.
: Ragna quick! *Throws spray bottle filled with water* It'll deter her! Use it!
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Me: As the ship name or the comic series name?
: *Catches* Alright! *Begins spraying Asuna* Back you drunk bitch, back!
: *Gets sprayed* Blurgh! Kyaaaa!
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Me: As a ship in general actually. If you want a ship name... um, the "Bloody Flash"?
*While Asuna was distracted rubbing her face. Konoe tackled her and started to tie her*
: Okay there Bloodedge?
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: Yeah, it's a good thing I wear so many belts.
: I'm not drunk anymore! Why are you tying me up?
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: Uh uh sister, I ain't buying it. Last time you "weren't drunk anymore" you fooled us into buying you more beer. Next thing we knew, you got in the middle of a huge barfight.
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: Asuna, I suggested it to you before and I implore you to listen now, STOP. DRINKING.
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: NEVA!!! *Hic* With yo nasty incest having ass. *Hic* Edgy Dante Rip-off wannabe *hic* No-real arms having ass.
: I-Is she roasting Ragna?
Me: I'm more amazed at the fact she can sound Black better when drunk than sober.
: Can pull no type of bitches. Which is you gotta resort to fucking clones of your sister and a minority. With yo nasty ass. EXPOSED BITCH!!!
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: ...i'd be insulted if I didn't hear that every day. Is that REALLY the best material you got?
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: Oh fuck you, you little-
THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO HIGHLY GRAPHIC AND INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE. WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. ^_^
: How do you like that HUH?!
Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sam: . . . . . . . . . . . .Wow.
: Booze is one powerful weapon. She went places even TERUMI wouldn't go.
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Sam: Well, Asuna beat Ragna at SOMEthing.
: Yeaaah, you've gone too far Asuna. I'm calling Jin.
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: Oh Big Man, calling his LITTLE brother to fight his battles for him. *Slices ropes* Well I ain't scared of his "The Moon's gonna fall" bitch ass. *Points Yukianesa at them* What's he gonna do?
Me: Is that Yukianesa?
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Me: Where the hell did you get that?
: *Smirks* You misunderstood me. Not the Jin that uses Yukianesa.
*A familiar figure walks in*
: Dark one, is this the she-beast you have spoken of?
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: Oh, you got Hakumen on my ass?! Well bring it, I've been studying his moveset all up in central fiction. I'm ready for yo ass. Come at me bro!!!
*One huge ass fight later*
: . . . . . . . . . . . .
Me: That could've gone better huh Ragna?
*All of us was in shock as Asuna stood over an unconscious Hakumen. Letting out a warcry as she held his sword up in the air*
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: I didn't bring him at full power because he still wants to kill me, anyway, I still got more on my list. I'll just call up-
(*Interrupted as a red motorcycle drives up*)
: Everyone.
Everyone: Yusei?!
: I came...
Everyone: What?
: ...to this city.
Everyone: Oh.
: To give you all a message... actually several.
Everyone: What?
: 1. Asuna is a little bitch. 2. Yuya wants Odd-Eyes Wing Dragon back Asuna. And 3. Hazama has your panties Asuna.
: Yup! Right here! *Twirling them on his index finger*
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Me: Why do Asuna's panties?
: Fuck that WHEN did you get them is my question?!
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: *Looks at his watch* About 10 minutes ago. When Asuna raised Hakumen's sword up, she left her self exposed.
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Me: I don't think she realizes. Or even cares
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*Group hears a crash, they turn to see a hole in the wall, with Ragna and Asuna not in sight*
: Jesus Christ, GET BACK HERE ASUNA! Wait, no DON'T TAKE IT OFF! PUT IT BACK ON YOU STREAKING BITCH!
: Shut you you fucking bitch-n**ga! You're the love child of a gay foursome between Dante, Cloud Strife, Guts and Sol Badguy! You have no right to talk!
: Seems you were unfortunately correct.
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: Fuck you Terumi!!!
*BAM*
*Before Ragna could punch Terumi, everyone jumped at the meaty thud echoing behind them. Soon they saw Asuna naked and being dragged by her hair by a teenage girl with long brown hair wearing a tank top and short with wooden sandals. No one said anything as the sandal slapped slowly and loudly against the ground*
: Ah shit...
Me: Well, he's pissed.
: . . . . . .*Raises brow and lifts the naked Asuna up by her hair*
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: Hey uh Sam? If you would be so kind to-
Me: Nope, you're on your on Ragna. Spell Card; Violet Flash! *Disappears*
: So...how are you doing Geo?
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: Greeeat, cause having my kids see a naked teenage girl running around, is EXACTLY how I wanted to spend my day.
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: Don't look at me! She was drunk! I told her not to-
*Ragna's scroll's ringtone (Rebellion II) plays*
: Uh, hold on a sec gotta take this. *Looks at who is calling* ..shit.
*Presses the answer key on the screen*
The hell is it Kirito.
: Ragna, Asuna just streaked in front of me and team RWBY, and I have a hunch you have something to do with it.
: Kirito, your wife is drunk.
: And that's new?
: IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!
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: OOFGH!!!
*Geo nonchantly punched Ragna in the gut making the man keel over. Then took Ragna's phone*
: Is this Kirito?
: Yeah...? Who's-
: I'm in no mood. COME GET YOUR WIFE, NOW!!!
: Okay, Okay! I'm coming!
*With that Geo hung up the call. Then threw Asuna at Terumi*
: Get her dressed.
: *Salutes and rushes off with the girl in tow*
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*Kirito arrives with Team RWBy right behind him*
: Okay, okay, i'm here, who was it that sucker punched Ragna and yelled at me?
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: Me. Problem?
: Shit Geo?! No, Not at all!
: *Walks in with the STILL unconscious Asuna* Alright, here's the freshly clothes drunk ass Asuna. Where do you want her?
: *Points to Kirito*
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: ...why is a drug using Gin Ichimaru cosplaying as Micheal Jackson carrying Asuna?
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Me: Wow, Drug Using Gin Ichimaru. That is the first time I've heard that. But he's technically not wrong.
: Well fuck you too you little shit. You want your wife back or not?
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: Well, considering the fact that she abuses me, stabs me in the eye, and REFUSES to do butt stuff, as well as me giving her pain, i'd say no. But for the sake of Yui, i'll say yes. Now then, hand her over you Joker-Orochimaru love child.
Team RWBY: We're still here.
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: Hey girls, what were you guys hanging with Kirito?
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: He was showing off his sword skills!
: ...what.
: Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, I wouldn't show my skills to little children carrying knives. Second of all, NOT that kind Ragna. Jesus, with all the crap happening to you I can't blame you for thinking that way. Also, *turns to Hazama* I'm STILL waiting for you to hand over Asuna you crack-using troll.
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: Here *Shoves the girl in his arm* Little Bastard.
: I don't know how Kirito swinging his swords around constitutes as sword skills but whatever.
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: Well, I should enjoy it while it lasts as Sam's writing a fic where me and Asuna no longer use swords.
*Flash of Purple*
Me: You rang?
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Me: Apparently you're writing a story where Asuna and Kirito can't use Swords?
: Making their ass irrelevant is what I'm hearing.
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Me: Ha ha no. Sure i'd make a certain guy trying to be Guts without the tragic backstory irrelevant-
: *Realising his words* HEY!
Me: -but they're going to be in a different VR world. And this world is fairly new and doesn't use weapons to fight...
: Still sounds like you're making them irrelevant.
Me: ...they'll learn how to play a children's card game!
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: Sooo, from irrelevant to peasants in the presence of Gods? Okay then.
: Hey that was pretty good.
: Aw thanks.
: Wait, you're putting them in Yu-gi-oh? Have we NOT seen how atrocious Asuna's skills are?
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Me: Eh, Asuna should be fine cause her deck is a mix of Aster Phoenix, Kite Tenjo and Joey Wheeler. Also, she has Reiji and Kaiba as childhood friends and teachers, so there's that.
: *Weak* Yay...
Me: As for Kirito, he as a Junk and XYZ deck.
: Wait, so I have a trash deck to learn my ABC's or a deck full of di-?
Me: No you idiot you have the same archetypes as-
: *Menacing*
Me: ...these two...
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: . . . . .Did I say "Trash"? I meant a wonderfully powerful deck here- OH MY GOD!!!
*Kirito runs off with Kaiba and Yusei chasing after him*
: He knows he's not getting away right?
Me: Let him believe.
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Me: Just like Weiss tried to believe that putting a knife in Ragna's eye was a good idea.
: Hah, I remember that, Weiss was being stupid. Also, I know you have your weapon pointed at me from behind Weiss. Put it away before you do something you'll regret and you'll get another spanking.
: ...*Slowly puts Myrtenaster down*
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Me: Wow. That timing. Anyways, I gotta go write a secret fanfic I have yet to reveal. I will say one thing, Nine, you're gonna be there. Magic Card. Violet Flash. *Dissapears*
: Which one is he...oh THAT one.
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Everyone: "That" one?
: What is "that" one and why am I apart of it?
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: It's his second BlazBlue x RWBY fic. Instead of starting earlier in RWBY, or being a big one, it's gonna only have 3 of us in the story. It's gonna take place after Central Fiction, midway through Volume 4, with me in my Bloodedge version (loss of Azure, right arm and right eye), Nine, back to normal still in her Nine the Phantom attire, and Hakumen at 50% of his power.
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Me: I'm actually starting to put together my Deva Story. Took some thinking but I finally figured out how I'm going to do the origin story.
: We're calling it Salem's Uprising.
Me:And trust me, you might be surprised with how I handle Salem.
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: Huh, this should be interesting. Out of curiosity, will there be more characters from Kid Icarus, Megaman Starforce or my Universe?
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Me: Yep, though because I'm going to be focusing on you Geo, Palutena, and Ruby there won't be a lot of characters coming in. If there are, it's only to be enemies for you to fight.
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: Well, with this type of content, I think the story is gonna go well. The only problem is side materials or omakes. Look at a small excerpt from one of the gag reels he came up with;
*Teaser for Little Red Riding Hood meets the Nanayas*
: Please dear, don't punish the baby!
: Now now, mommy needs to teach the little brat some manners!
: As an old(not really) woman I say discipline is the best way to teach them! "Punish" him HARD!
: Goo goo ga ga! Goo ga ga goo ga ga ga! (Fuck all of you! Eat shit and die Hazama!)
: HANDS OFF THE BABY! *Aims Crescent Rose at Hazama*
: ...I hate my family.
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*Everyone started laughing*
Me: Damn Ragna, even with a new Gag Reel for the Nanaya Family. You're STILL the baby?!
: Oh-hoh God this is priceless!
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: How about a teaser for Hazama's?
: How about NO.
: How about YES?
Everyone: YES!!
*PREVIEW TIME*
*Hazama can be seen standing behind some bushes, he is seen spying on Ragna and Noel*
: Finally, they're alone. Now I can do to them what Terumi did to Hakumen! And this time, that shitty cat-bitch isn't here to stop me-ACHOO! ...Fuck.
*Hazama looks up into a tree near him and sees a black silhouette of someone familiar, the eyes flash white*
: *Says in the voice of * ...i'm Batman.
*Hazama begins running with Blake chasing him*
: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SH-ACHOO! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
: You know, it sometimes pays well to be a cat person.
: *Running* Jesus Christ I gotta hide! Lest I run into someone el-
*Hazama nearly runs into Ren*
: Shit! This guy is one of the few informed of who I really am! Well, at least he's not a cat, but he's still part ninja like the cat-bitch from earlier. Whatever, ninjas don't sca-
*Ren interrupts him by making a hand signal*
: Kage-Bunshin no Jutsu!
*Ren proceeds to create Shadow Clones. Hazama turns to run, but...*
: You cornered him Ren! Perfect!
*Blake proceeds to summon shadows of herself, which she had learned from Hibiki*
: All right, i'll hold him down, you attack!
: ...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
(It's not my best one but still, what do ya think?)
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(Great, though it might be just me. But the humor felt a little bland near the end)
*Ragna and most of the others were laughing at the gag reel*
: Well that was satisfying to watch.
: This is honestly my favorite gag reel yet.
: Gee I wonder why?
Sam: So what next?
Me: Well if you guys want. I can show a little scene with my Devas Project. It's not a Gag Reel or Omake. Actually it's pretty serious. But I think you my like it. What do you say?
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: YES PLEASE!
: Sure, let's see what the me of this world is doing.
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