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dreamarian In reply to fcoker [2018-11-09 02:01:55 +0000 UTC]

Yes exactly. I use to watch TV shows or hear about terrible things happening to children and I was genuinely horrified, but it was from a logical part of my brain. Now I FEEL it. I feel what the parents feel, I put myself in the position to feel how terrified the children are... 
I have mostly stopped watching TV all together and I use to love things like Law and Order SVU and crime stuff, now just NOPE.

Thanks for the comment!

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dreamarian In reply to trumptato [2018-11-04 08:49:51 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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dreamarian In reply to desdainart [2018-11-04 08:53:16 +0000 UTC]

Meks! Dude, I have become a complete wuss.
The world, it bothers me more and more every day. Especially in this country. I have sleepless nights about keeping Willow safe.
Aaaand another contest because one day my ship might come in!

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desdainart In reply to dreamarian [2018-11-07 01:50:07 +0000 UTC]

A few years ago my son went missing in the wilderness. I'm very vocal about my son having autism; therefore, he is non-communicative. He talks and uses words and phrases, but he wouldn't have a back and forth conversation. Anyhow, it was summer break from school and both my father and father-in-law are huge outdoors-men. I would have never thought my son would be too because both my husband and I are huge hermits and enjoy doing things that require no physical activity haha... So on the weekends either my father or my husband's father would take Isaac to go fishing, cruising in a Jeep in the woods, and even archery. My father in law took him to do archery practice. I guess it was around lunch time and Isaac was being whiny because he was getting hungry. So grandpa put him in the car to have a time out and calm down. Grandpa walked across the field for like a minute to grab the target to put in the Jeep and Isaac was gone! Both Chance and I were at work so Chance got the call first. He rushes over there. I was getting phone calls, but I was so busy at work that day that I didn't even see the calls until 2-3 hours later. I finally listened to like 27 voicemails and rushed over to the archery range that was a 2 hour drive away. By the end of it, Isaac was missing for 8 hours in this huge archery range in January where it's freezing temperatures. I didn't even know what to do with myself for the whole 8 hours. I just didn't even feel like I was breathing. I was in such a state of panic that I felt completely paralyzed. Luckily, they did find him by the river which was mostly dry around that time. He suffered from hypothermia and had a few scratches and bruises. Other than that, he was okay. The only way that could have possibly gone worse is either he was never found or we found him too late. The whole time he was missing, I kept playing the worst scenarios in my head. For 6-7 months after that incident, I would wake up from a nightmare almost every night with those same worst scenarios haunting my dreams with him dead or gone forever. I wouldn't let him out of my sight, not even when he slept. He had to sleep next to me for a few more years to come (he was 7 years old at the time). I just recently let him have his own room and he's 12 years old now! I don't wish that upon any parent. I would see on the news when children go missing or worse, my heart would just break into a trillion pieces for the family. I watch a lot of crime TV and listen to some true crime podcasts and the detectives that would share their cases will always say that all crimes involving children are the worst. Those cases are the ones that break them. All we want is for our children to grow up happy, warm, safe, and healthy. 

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dreamarian In reply to desdainart [2018-11-09 01:53:03 +0000 UTC]

Everything about this is absolutely horrifying!
Just the idea that he could have heard everyone calling to him and not be able to answer would have eaten me alive. 8 hours is a fucking lifetime, hell, one hour would have been enough to kill me. I live myself so deeply into the worst case scenarios that I just want to hold onto Willow and never let go. 
I hope nothing like that ever happens to you guys again.
The thing that gets me is how quickly things go wrong. I don't even have to go looking and the bad news finds me. My facebook feed is updated with new missing kids (and worse) in our city and the yuppies just don't give a damn. The idea that Willow has to attend a school at some point is literally giving me panic attacks! As I sit here, I just can't. 

That tiny person is my whole heart!

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desdainart In reply to dreamarian [2018-11-10 00:14:36 +0000 UTC]

God, it truly is horrifying and so unhealthy to live this way. Though you just can't help it. I would happily lay my life down on the line for my son. I feel like I've over protected him so I've handicapped him to not be able to defend himself. At the same time, the world is insane with insane people. I don't know, it's hard to find that balance. Until this day, we still don't know what happened to him for those 8 hours he was lost. We may never know because he wouldn't know how to tell us. So it truly frightens me if anything were to happen, like how would he ask for help or even know that he needs help? The constant worrying is very real but can be irrational at times. I worry about things that might happen when most likely the possibility would be next to none. And still my son managed to get lost for 8 hours so yeah, my paranoia has heightened since then. I hate saying this, but it's one of those things you won't understand until you are a parent yourself. Until you love something so so much that it almost aches. I see on the news and social media all the children that go missing or worse, like you said, and it's so heart wrenching because it hits too close to home.

Gahhh... I can go on forever freaking myself out. All I can say that it doesn't get better. My son is 12 and I still have a hard time. Like I said, I finally let him have his own room just this year when he turned 12. He loves it, but I can't even sleep with my door closed. I have to leave it cracked open just in case. Every night I ask if he wants to sleep in his room or in my room just so he knows he's always welcome to when he wants to.

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