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Description

BUSTED

Creep: Oh, maybe this’ll bring something hope.....I do mean this ironically.
Kit: This writing style looks familiar...

Neither of them heard the key turn and the door open, but both of them heard the voice: "Dad? Daddy, you're home?"

Doofenshmirtz broke his personal record to get from highly aroused and naked, to worried and properly dressed.

Creep: WOW, that was clumsy fast.
Erik: Who was talking earlier? Vanessa?

Why exactly was his daughter here? It was not there weekend. It was not even weekend!

Creep: Oh, a DoofXPerry fic? I’m screaming with joy. *sarcasm*
Kit: At least their relationship is interesting.
Erik: Since when does Vanessa call him Daddy?
Creep: I don’t recall it at all. Never, actually.

Perry meanwhile – still puzzled – tried to comb his fur down and to find his hat along with his breath...

Creep: Ugh. Well, at least stuff is happening.
Kit: And at least it was off-screen.

"Vanessa, honey," Heinz asked worried, "what happened? You look awful..."

Vanessa stood in the living room and looked her dad up and down, mirroring his worried expression.

Why he looked so – so ruffled?
And did he really has a red hue on his usually more than a little pale cheeks?
And why in all heavens name...

Kit: They fucked. Just get on with it. I’m yawning again.
Creep: No shit.

At this moment the bedroom door opened and a rather disheveled Perry the platypus stepped in, scanning the room with his eyes, greeting her as usually with a wave before continuing his search.
So this was it... Her dad had been in a fight!

Kit:....Sure. Lets go with that.
Erik: You...could say that...
Creep: Perry was too “rough” on Doof this time. Also, how dumb is Vanessa that she couldn’t two and two together? She’s A TEENAGER for pete’s sake!

"Your hat is on the rug in front of the fireplace..."

Did her dad just recognize the platypus without his hat?

Creep: Which contradicts the series and the movie.
Kit: Give ‘em credit, they pointed out the OOCness, so it wasn’t used blindly...
Creep: True.

Perry nodded thankfully and walked over to pick up his treasured hat, meanwhile Heinz spoke up: "Perry, as my daughter is here... would you mind if we continue our actual encounter at another time?"

Kit: Haven’t they fought with Vanessa in the room before...? Or...nevermind.
Erik: How long does this shit continue...
Creep: Wow, I’m slightly bored again.
Kit: *starts playing the Boring song*

The Platypus – much to Vanessa's surprise – flashed her dad a bright smile, tipped his hat at them both and – walked out of the door and... And did the mammal just bashing his lashes at her dad?

Creep: What’s with the constant questions?! WE’RE supposed to be the ones asking questions, not you, story!
Kit: It’s ok to use this once or twice for effect of suspense or humor, but this much...no.
Creep: This is like the fifth question I’ve seen in the narrative.

"Dad," she insisted, "what the heck is going on and why you're wearing your lab coat inside out?"
Doofenshmirtz had to stop her before she jumped to the wrong – actually right – conclusions and so he asked, still worried: "Vanessa, what you're doing here?"

Doof: Don’t make me bitch slap you out of here!
Erik: Oh lawd.
Kit: I’m so bored...So very, very bored...I’d rather watch a bunch of cupcakes sing a merry and then go surfing on a door...

His daughters features fell and with a swoop she hung around his neck, hiding her face in his chest and bawling like a little girl.

Creep: Uhhh......okay?
Erik: Where did that come from?

Doofenshmirtz just encircled her in his arms and held her close, murmuring shushing words: "It's okay Vannie... Papa ist ja da, alles wird gut*..." he wasn't aware that he had fallen back into his native language.

Creep: Which I’ve never seen him do whenever he gets knocked out.
Erik: I didn’t know Druelselstein had its own language.
Kit: Also: “Vannie”. Why?
Creep: Doof actually does have a couple of German words in his vocabulary, but they’re quite rare.

Almost ten minutes later Doof sat on his couch, his teenage daughter by his side nipping on a hot chocolate and telling him what was the matter.

Creep: O.O Oh shit, I read this wrong. XD

As Vanessa finished he just pulled her once more in tight hug and promised: "You can stay as long as you want Vannie... but I has to call your mother..."

Kit: Since when has Doof called her “Vannie”?
Creep: What kind of nickname is that anyway?
Erik: I has to?

Vanessa nodded thankfully into his shoulder and demanded: "That nickname, will never leave those rooms, papi..."

Creep: And when has Vanessa called Doof “Papi”?
Erik: Papi? Wtf is this?
Creep: A Italian word?
Kit: Latin American or Spanish, actually...
Creep: I swear I had someone of a Italian accent say that, but I think that was a parody or something.
Kit: Eh, it might be used by an Italian someone, but I typically hear it from Spanish kids.

Heinz just chuckled and nodded in return: "Klar Vannie liebes!**"

Creep: Yeah, what’s with the new language that we’ve seen or ever heard?

Perry blasted through the skylight at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated expecting to get trapped any second in a new trap.

He got indeed trapped, but not the way he had awaited, as he found himself trapped in a surprisingly strong pair of wiry arms and in the same instant as his hat got snapped from his head and thrown out of the nearest window, he found his beak invaded by a demanding kiss.
Holy inator!

Robin: Hey! Don’t be stealing my catchphrase!

How he had missed those lips on his beak!

Creep: Holy DoofXPerry, Batman!
Erik: Whaaaa--?
Kit: This is making me feel very ashamed of liking this pairing...even slightly.
Erik: Whaaaa--? 0.0

Heinz pulled back, starring in the platypus' heavy-lidded eyes and rasped a short "Vanessa 's out..." right before going back to the task at hand.

Creep; ANNDDDD we’re back into “CarlXPerry” again. Seriously, is Perry basically the sexiest animal in the show????
Kit: Pretty much. Women faint in his theme song. |D
Creep: I knew that was coming. XD
Kit: Maybe Perry was a very sexy man in another life, but the innane charm stayed with him somehow. |3
Erik: Perry’s fine...but when you’re with Pinky, it’s a wild ride.
Kit: I think you’ve just tempted someone. I don’t know who...but you’ve tempted someone. Nice going.

The agent in his grip made a chirruping noise as Doof traced the outline of his bill with a delicious mix of nibbling and licking, still holding him as close as he could.

Creep: UHHHHHHHH.
Erik: ….

The scientist slowly moved forward while kissing, nibbling – driving crazy – his little nemesis, finally placing down the platypus on one of his inators.

Kit: If this becomes our third smut in a row, I swear...
Creep: UUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

His hands, now free, started to roam over the teal fur and the impressive muscles beneath, tracing down, following the spine, rubbing over a shivering, arching tail...

Creep: I’m getting a bad vibe from this.
Erik: Oh God...

Perry opened his beak in a silent moan and Heinz followed the intriguing invitation and echoed the moan as their tongues slid together anew.

Creep: UGGHHHHHH.

Holy inator, how he had missed those kisses...

Creep: When has “Holy Inator” been Doof’s catchphrase???
Kit: Erik, after this, a break from smut, please. We can only handle so much.
Erik: I don’t control what we get. I just have a shit load of stories.

Perry's front paws entwined in the brown strands, his fur stood on end and his breath was ragged and hitched in his throat at the sight in front of him.

When did Heinz fall onto his knees?
When did his voice ever sound more fervid, while muttering in his native tongue?
When did those long, delicate and oh so talented fingers squeeze out his cock from where he was normally hidden?
When his beloved nemesis had put to use this sultry mouth on him?
Why must the story be this pointless and OOC?
Why was Vanessa here when she added nothing?
Why is the author this perverted?

Kit: Yeah...That’s my job...=w=
Ani:...So glad you’re kidding.
Kit:....Yeah. I’m kidding. That’s it. |D
Creep: Indeed.

Perry's thoughts dwindled away in the overwhelming heat balling up in his deepest core and he let out a loud growl as the fire within erupted.

Creep: I’m imagining a volcano right now.
Kit: It’d be more exciting than this....In fact, it’d be more interesting if this took place in, like a...cave or inside a cavern in/below a volcano or something.
Creep: Or the building was exploding and they were simply fucking around....literally. That would be mildly funny.
Kit: Yes, yes it would. |D
Creep: CATCHPHRASE STEALER!
Kit: Wanted on three different websites. |D

He couldn't lick and kiss his way down from the bill, over the rest of the silky, fur covered body. So Doofenshmirtz just started to trace and nuzzle the hard muscles with his nose, deeply inhaling the sweet scent of musk and something even more tempting, while he worked his way down, sinking to his knees...

Creep: I shouldn’t be eating while I’m doing this. X.x
Erik: What’re you eating? XD

"I wanna devour you..." his voice was husky, needy, "Ich werde dich verschlingen..." he was on his knees now, "... auffressen mit Haut und Haaren***..."

Creep: WHY THE GERMAN DIALECT?!
Kit: Bored again. Cya when the “The End” credit comes on.
Creep: This isn’t Phinbella, so you can’t skip. Besides, it’s almost over.
Kit: Curses.

And finally he was at his goal, and as the small hips of the platypus jerked forward in a feverish tremor he ceased to think and let his mind surrender to his instincts.
Spent and relieved, the agent pulled the scientist up by the strand of brown hair he still clutched in his paw and rubbed his beak against the prominent nose, happily purring.

Creep: Again, WHY IS PERRY PURRING?! He’s a fuckin’ platypus!
Kit: A lot of animals purr. A lot of humans purr. |D
Creep: Perry GROWLS.
Kit: Have you ever seen him in love on the show? I’ll bet anything he WOULD purr. |D
Creep: NEVER.
Erik: *pets CreepE*
Creep: Nope.

Heinz pressed a languish kiss on top of his bill and murmured then against a furry shoulder: "Wanna move this to the bedroom, my temptuous nemesis?"

Creep: Well, they do have big words on the show.
Erik: They think it makes the sex hotter.

Perry answered by increasing his purring and a questioningly look towards the door.
"No worry, she's on a school trip for the next two days..." and with this he got lifted up, throw over a lean shoulder and carried out of the lab into the apartment beneath.
He laid on his back, alone in the dimly darkness of his bedroom, as the agent had to go home to his family who he loved dearly.

Creep: But not as much as Doof, I bet.

Yes, he knew exactly who they are, where they lived and – he was, besides Perry, the only one who had been on that damn journey through the dimensions, who could remember.
This was one reason to carry on with this charade of the good monotreme and the bad guy, as his beloved nemesis would get reassigned if anybody ever would find out the truth.
Maybe he should have told Major Monobrow, that he was immune to all his seriously dangerous inators, like the ugly-inator he once invented?
Naaah, never ever he should have! He still was the evil guy back then.
Apparently, he still was the evil-guy now...
Doof exhaled a deep sigh and turned around, burying his head in his big green pillow: "Still smells like you..." drifting off towards the land of dreams.

Creep: As if Doof wasn’t creepy enough.

Perry tiptoed in the room, his hat, which had luckily landed on a porch, – the camera off –
Creep: What camera? This is a FANFIC.
Kit: Poor fourth wall joke?
Erik: ^

back on his head and stared at the luscious outspread body on the green satin sheets, bathed in the golden light of a still young day.

The hat once more found his usual place on one of the nightstands and carefully, not to wake up Heinz to soon and ruin the surprise, he got on the bed.
Doofenshmirtz woke up to the overwhelming sensation of silky fur brushing along the inside of his thighs and moaned the agents name, arching up in the touch of paws and claws, but as he tried to turn over to face his lover, Perry stopped him with a growl and by putting all his wight to the front paws on the doctors buttocks.

Heinz got the hint and rested flat on his belly, drowning in the feeling of soft strokes and fuzzy fur on his exposed skin.

Creep: UGHHHHHHH.
Kit: :music: You’re not missing that much...Nothing happens...

"Is it that late already, my very special agent P, or did you sneak out early?"

Creep: Wanna hear a joke?
Kit: Anything’s funnier than this.
Creep: What was covered on Doof’s couch in AT2D?
Kit:...Pee.
Creep: Agent PEE. XDDDDD
Kit: Joke’s been done, dude. |3
Erik: *facepalm*
Creep: I know, but it’s better than THIS.

Perry grinned, chattered low and hopefully sexy, nipped – in spite of most other platypus' he had teeth and he knew to use them – at the sensitive skin on the docs lower back and earned a lustful moan.

Creep: Okay, in the show, Doof was portrayed as.....UGLY. Perry must have some LOW expectations.
Kit: Low standards, rather. First Carl, now Doof. Is Perry just attracted only to unappealing human men?...well, ok, that’s harsh on Carl, but...
Erik: ...Someone saw P&F and seriously thought this was for the show...
Creep: Platypus whore.

Dr. D's voice dropped two more octaves as Perry moved the ministrations further downwards and placed a rather hard bite on his right buttock, so the moan he uttered this time resembled more a growl than anything.

Creep: WHHYYYYYYY?! DX
Kit: Story, don’t make me hate this pairing...T~T I don’t wanna hate it...
Erik: How can you not hate it? 0.0
Kit: Eh...The relationship and interaction is funny and, in a morbid, twisted kind of way, I like the relationship...even going into romance (WITHOUT SEX).
Creep: Eh, it’s as creepy as BatmanXJoker. >.>
Kit: True. Guilty pleasure, I guess....It’s kind of like BrianxStewie fans; they know it’s wrong, but enjoy it anyway because the show implies that.

Paws dug in the soft flesh of his rear to spread the cleft and – Doof bucked upwards as the wet, rough tongue dived down, plunged in: "Oh yesss!" a long hissing noise, while his long fingers desperately grasped the sheets.
He grinned, reached between Heinz' legs, grabbed the throbbing member of the squirming man and gave some hard strokes, making his favorite nemesis moan and growl even louder.
For as they not was entirely of the same species, he was quite talented at those things...
Pulling, stroking, pushing and licking.

Creep: PLEASE STOP!!!! DX
Erik: XD

Making his lover moan and pant, pleading for more and finally to cum.
He was jelly, Doofenshmirtz jelly... seeping through the bed beneath him.
At least he felt this way and was still shaking, not even able to turn on his back and pulling Perry up to properly kiss and thank him for the most splendid, mind blowing sexual experience he ever had.

Creep: And it was horrible.

To his gratitude Perry decided to crawl up pushing himself under his arm and lazily kissing his smiling mouth, still purring and deviously grinning.
Heinz just kissed back.

OPEN END

Creep: What? It’s not over!?

once more
*everything will be alright, daddy's here
**of course Vannie, darling
***I wanna devour you... devour you neck and crop

Creep: Great, we’ve got implied incest too. What a way to end it!

*SNIP*

Erik: Would...you guys think less of me if I told you I wrote this fic on my old FF.net account?
Kit: Not really. |3 I write my own twisted shit in my spare time. |D Can’t really judge anyone else.
Creep: I’d facepalm.
Erik: K. So what did you think?
Kit: Eh...It had potential. Potential moments, I should say. If you wanted to branch this into a good, serious story, it certainly has the potential for it...on its own, it was kind of boring.
Creep: Not interesting enough, but....not as boring as Phinbella. Again, unless this was troll fic or an actually funny joke about the implications of DoofXPerry canon-wise, I don’t get this pairing. :/ Maybe Doof and Perry ACTING like an old married couple or something.
Erik: Anywhere in particular I should have improved?
Kit: The random German, for starters.
Creep: And Vanessa; what was the point of her being in this story, exactly?
Kit: One of the potential moments...but on its own, yeah, what WAS the point?
Creep: Again, I’d find it more accepting it was joking about the relationship in the end or a deeper insight, not just pointless smut that doesn’t tell us ANYTHING about Doof or Perry or their relationship.
Kit: Exactly.
Erik: Well....yeah...probably didn’t fall for it, but I didn’t write that. XD
Creep: I know you didn’t.
Kit: Yeah. |D
Erik: Ready for the next one?
Creep: No sex this time.
Kit: NO MORE SMUT.
Creep: Have a crappy story or something.

Music — Description

BUSTED

Creep: Oh, maybe this’ll bring something hope.....I do mean this ironically.
Kit: This writing style looks familiar...

Neither of them heard the key turn and the door open, but both of them heard the voice: "Dad? Daddy, you're home?"

Doofenshmirtz broke his personal record to get from highly aroused and naked, to worried and properly dressed.

Creep: WOW, that was clumsy fast.
Erik: Who was talking earlier? Vanessa?

Why exactly was his daughter here? It was not there weekend. It was not even weekend!

Creep: Oh, a DoofXPerry fic? I’m screaming with joy. *sarcasm*
Kit: At least their relationship is interesting.
Erik: Since when does Vanessa call him Daddy?
Creep: I don’t recall it at all. Never, actually.

Perry meanwhile – still puzzled – tried to comb his fur down and to find his hat along with his breath...

Creep: Ugh. Well, at least stuff is happening.
Kit: And at least it was off-screen.

"Vanessa, honey," Heinz asked worried, "what happened? You look awful..."

Vanessa stood in the living room and looked her dad up and down, mirroring his worried expression.

Why he looked so – so ruffled?
And did he really has a red hue on his usually more than a little pale cheeks?
And why in all heavens name...

Kit: They fucked. Just get on with it. I’m yawning again.
Creep: No shit.

At this moment the bedroom door opened and a rather disheveled Perry the platypus stepped in, scanning the room with his eyes, greeting her as usually with a wave before continuing his search.
So this was it... Her dad had been in a fight!

Kit:....Sure. Lets go with that.
Erik: You...could say that...
Creep: Perry was too “rough” on Doof this time. Also, how dumb is Vanessa that she couldn’t two and two together? She’s A TEENAGER for pete’s sake!

"Your hat is on the rug in front of the fireplace..."

Did her dad just recognize the platypus without his hat?

Creep: Which contradicts the series and the movie.
Kit: Give ‘em credit, they pointed out the OOCness, so it wasn’t used blindly...
Creep: True.

Perry nodded thankfully and walked over to pick up his treasured hat, meanwhile Heinz spoke up: "Perry, as my daughter is here... would you mind if we continue our actual encounter at another time?"

Kit: Haven’t they fought with Vanessa in the room before...? Or...nevermind.
Erik: How long does this shit continue...
Creep: Wow, I’m slightly bored again.
Kit: *starts playing the Boring song*

The Platypus – much to Vanessa's surprise – flashed her dad a bright smile, tipped his hat at them both and – walked out of the door and... And did the mammal just bashing his lashes at her dad?

Creep: What’s with the constant questions?! WE’RE supposed to be the ones asking questions, not you, story!
Kit: It’s ok to use this once or twice for effect of suspense or humor, but this much...no.
Creep: This is like the fifth question I’ve seen in the narrative.

"Dad," she insisted, "what the heck is going on and why you're wearing your lab coat inside out?"
Doofenshmirtz had to stop her before she jumped to the wrong – actually right – conclusions and so he asked, still worried: "Vanessa, what you're doing here?"

Doof: Don’t make me bitch slap you out of here!
Erik: Oh lawd.
Kit: I’m so bored...So very, very bored...I’d rather watch a bunch of cupcakes sing a merry and then go surfing on a door...

His daughters features fell and with a swoop she hung around his neck, hiding her face in his chest and bawling like a little girl.

Creep: Uhhh......okay?
Erik: Where did that come from?

Doofenshmirtz just encircled her in his arms and held her close, murmuring shushing words: "It's okay Vannie... Papa ist ja da, alles wird gut*..." he wasn't aware that he had fallen back into his native language.

Creep: Which I’ve never seen him do whenever he gets knocked out.
Erik: I didn’t know Druelselstein had its own language.
Kit: Also: “Vannie”. Why?
Creep: Doof actually does have a couple of German words in his vocabulary, but they’re quite rare.

Almost ten minutes later Doof sat on his couch, his teenage daughter by his side nipping on a hot chocolate and telling him what was the matter.

Creep: O.O Oh shit, I read this wrong. XD

As Vanessa finished he just pulled her once more in tight hug and promised: "You can stay as long as you want Vannie... but I has to call your mother..."

Kit: Since when has Doof called her “Vannie”?
Creep: What kind of nickname is that anyway?
Erik: I has to?

Vanessa nodded thankfully into his shoulder and demanded: "That nickname, will never leave those rooms, papi..."

Creep: And when has Vanessa called Doof “Papi”?
Erik: Papi? Wtf is this?
Creep: A Italian word?
Kit: Latin American or Spanish, actually...
Creep: I swear I had someone of a Italian accent say that, but I think that was a parody or something.
Kit: Eh, it might be used by an Italian someone, but I typically hear it from Spanish kids.

Heinz just chuckled and nodded in return: "Klar Vannie liebes!**"

Creep: Yeah, what’s with the new language that we’ve seen or ever heard?

Perry blasted through the skylight at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated expecting to get trapped any second in a new trap.

He got indeed trapped, but not the way he had awaited, as he found himself trapped in a surprisingly strong pair of wiry arms and in the same instant as his hat got snapped from his head and thrown out of the nearest window, he found his beak invaded by a demanding kiss.
Holy inator!

Robin: Hey! Don’t be stealing my catchphrase!

How he had missed those lips on his beak!

Creep: Holy DoofXPerry, Batman!
Erik: Whaaaa--?
Kit: This is making me feel very ashamed of liking this pairing...even slightly.
Erik: Whaaaa--? 0.0

Heinz pulled back, starring in the platypus' heavy-lidded eyes and rasped a short "Vanessa 's out..." right before going back to the task at hand.

Creep; ANNDDDD we’re back into “CarlXPerry” again. Seriously, is Perry basically the sexiest animal in the show????
Kit: Pretty much. Women faint in his theme song. |D
Creep: I knew that was coming. XD
Kit: Maybe Perry was a very sexy man in another life, but the innane charm stayed with him somehow. |3
Erik: Perry’s fine...but when you’re with Pinky, it’s a wild ride.
Kit: I think you’ve just tempted someone. I don’t know who...but you’ve tempted someone. Nice going.

The agent in his grip made a chirruping noise as Doof traced the outline of his bill with a delicious mix of nibbling and licking, still holding him as close as he could.

Creep: UHHHHHHHH.
Erik: ….

The scientist slowly moved forward while kissing, nibbling – driving crazy – his little nemesis, finally placing down the platypus on one of his inators.

Kit: If this becomes our third smut in a row, I swear...
Creep: UUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

His hands, now free, started to roam over the teal fur and the impressive muscles beneath, tracing down, following the spine, rubbing over a shivering, arching tail...

Creep: I’m getting a bad vibe from this.
Erik: Oh God...

Perry opened his beak in a silent moan and Heinz followed the intriguing invitation and echoed the moan as their tongues slid together anew.

Creep: UGGHHHHHH.

Holy inator, how he had missed those kisses...

Creep: When has “Holy Inator” been Doof’s catchphrase???
Kit: Erik, after this, a break from smut, please. We can only handle so much.
Erik: I don’t control what we get. I just have a shit load of stories.

Perry's front paws entwined in the brown strands, his fur stood on end and his breath was ragged and hitched in his throat at the sight in front of him.

When did Heinz fall onto his knees?
When did his voice ever sound more fervid, while muttering in his native tongue?
When did those long, delicate and oh so talented fingers squeeze out his cock from where he was normally hidden?
When his beloved nemesis had put to use this sultry mouth on him?
Why must the story be this pointless and OOC?
Why was Vanessa here when she added nothing?
Why is the author this perverted?

Kit: Yeah...That’s my job...=w=
Ani:...So glad you’re kidding.
Kit:....Yeah. I’m kidding. That’s it. |D
Creep: Indeed.

Perry's thoughts dwindled away in the overwhelming heat balling up in his deepest core and he let out a loud growl as the fire within erupted.

Creep: I’m imagining a volcano right now.
Kit: It’d be more exciting than this....In fact, it’d be more interesting if this took place in, like a...cave or inside a cavern in/below a volcano or something.
Creep: Or the building was exploding and they were simply fucking around....literally. That would be mildly funny.
Kit: Yes, yes it would. |D
Creep: CATCHPHRASE STEALER!
Kit: Wanted on three different websites. |D

He couldn't lick and kiss his way down from the bill, over the rest of the silky, fur covered body. So Doofenshmirtz just started to trace and nuzzle the hard muscles with his nose, deeply inhaling the sweet scent of musk and something even more tempting, while he worked his way down, sinking to his knees...

Creep: I shouldn’t be eating while I’m doing this. X.x
Erik: What’re you eating? XD

"I wanna devour you..." his voice was husky, needy, "Ich werde dich verschlingen..." he was on his knees now, "... auffressen mit Haut und Haaren***..."

Creep: WHY THE GERMAN DIALECT?!
Kit: Bored again. Cya when the “The End” credit comes on.
Creep: This isn’t Phinbella, so you can’t skip. Besides, it’s almost over.
Kit: Curses.

And finally he was at his goal, and as the small hips of the platypus jerked forward in a feverish tremor he ceased to think and let his mind surrender to his instincts.
Spent and relieved, the agent pulled the scientist up by the strand of brown hair he still clutched in his paw and rubbed his beak against the prominent nose, happily purring.

Creep: Again, WHY IS PERRY PURRING?! He’s a fuckin’ platypus!
Kit: A lot of animals purr. A lot of humans purr. |D
Creep: Perry GROWLS.
Kit: Have you ever seen him in love on the show? I’ll bet anything he WOULD purr. |D
Creep: NEVER.
Erik: *pets CreepE*
Creep: Nope.

Heinz pressed a languish kiss on top of his bill and murmured then against a furry shoulder: "Wanna move this to the bedroom, my temptuous nemesis?"

Creep: Well, they do have big words on the show.
Erik: They think it makes the sex hotter.

Perry answered by increasing his purring and a questioningly look towards the door.
"No worry, she's on a school trip for the next two days..." and with this he got lifted up, throw over a lean shoulder and carried out of the lab into the apartment beneath.
He laid on his back, alone in the dimly darkness of his bedroom, as the agent had to go home to his family who he loved dearly.

Creep: But not as much as Doof, I bet.

Yes, he knew exactly who they are, where they lived and – he was, besides Perry, the only one who had been on that damn journey through the dimensions, who could remember.
This was one reason to carry on with this charade of the good monotreme and the bad guy, as his beloved nemesis would get reassigned if anybody ever would find out the truth.
Maybe he should have told Major Monobrow, that he was immune to all his seriously dangerous inators, like the ugly-inator he once invented?
Naaah, never ever he should have! He still was the evil guy back then.
Apparently, he still was the evil-guy now...
Doof exhaled a deep sigh and turned around, burying his head in his big green pillow: "Still smells like you..." drifting off towards the land of dreams.

Creep: As if Doof wasn’t creepy enough.

Perry tiptoed in the room, his hat, which had luckily landed on a porch, – the camera off –
Creep: What camera? This is a FANFIC.
Kit: Poor fourth wall joke?
Erik: ^

back on his head and stared at the luscious outspread body on the green satin sheets, bathed in the golden light of a still young day.

The hat once more found his usual place on one of the nightstands and carefully, not to wake up Heinz to soon and ruin the surprise, he got on the bed.
Doofenshmirtz woke up to the overwhelming sensation of silky fur brushing along the inside of his thighs and moaned the agents name, arching up in the touch of paws and claws, but as he tried to turn over to face his lover, Perry stopped him with a growl and by putting all his wight to the front paws on the doctors buttocks.

Heinz got the hint and rested flat on his belly, drowning in the feeling of soft strokes and fuzzy fur on his exposed skin.

Creep: UGHHHHHHH.
Kit: :music: You’re not missing that much...Nothing happens...

"Is it that late already, my very special agent P, or did you sneak out early?"

Creep: Wanna hear a joke?
Kit: Anything’s funnier than this.
Creep: What was covered on Doof’s couch in AT2D?
Kit:...Pee.
Creep: Agent PEE. XDDDDD
Kit: Joke’s been done, dude. |3
Erik: *facepalm*
Creep: I know, but it’s better than THIS.

Perry grinned, chattered low and hopefully sexy, nipped – in spite of most other platypus' he had teeth and he knew to use them – at the sensitive skin on the docs lower back and earned a lustful moan.

Creep: Okay, in the show, Doof was portrayed as.....UGLY. Perry must have some LOW expectations.
Kit: Low standards, rather. First Carl, now Doof. Is Perry just attracted only to unappealing human men?...well, ok, that’s harsh on Carl, but...
Erik: ...Someone saw P&F and seriously thought this was for the show...
Creep: Platypus whore.

Dr. D's voice dropped two more octaves as Perry moved the ministrations further downwards and placed a rather hard bite on his right buttock, so the moan he uttered this time resembled more a growl than anything.

Creep: WHHYYYYYYY?! DX
Kit: Story, don’t make me hate this pairing...T~T I don’t wanna hate it...
Erik: How can you not hate it? 0.0
Kit: Eh...The relationship and interaction is funny and, in a morbid, twisted kind of way, I like the relationship...even going into romance (WITHOUT SEX).
Creep: Eh, it’s as creepy as BatmanXJoker. >.>
Kit: True. Guilty pleasure, I guess....It’s kind of like BrianxStewie fans; they know it’s wrong, but enjoy it anyway because the show implies that.

Paws dug in the soft flesh of his rear to spread the cleft and – Doof bucked upwards as the wet, rough tongue dived down, plunged in: "Oh yesss!" a long hissing noise, while his long fingers desperately grasped the sheets.
He grinned, reached between Heinz' legs, grabbed the throbbing member of the squirming man and gave some hard strokes, making his favorite nemesis moan and growl even louder.
For as they not was entirely of the same species, he was quite talented at those things...
Pulling, stroking, pushing and licking.

Creep: PLEASE STOP!!!! DX
Erik: XD

Making his lover moan and pant, pleading for more and finally to cum.
He was jelly, Doofenshmirtz jelly... seeping through the bed beneath him.
At least he felt this way and was still shaking, not even able to turn on his back and pulling Perry up to properly kiss and thank him for the most splendid, mind blowing sexual experience he ever had.

Creep: And it was horrible.

To his gratitude Perry decided to crawl up pushing himself under his arm and lazily kissing his smiling mouth, still purring and deviously grinning.
Heinz just kissed back.

OPEN END

Creep: What? It’s not over!?

once more
*everything will be alright, daddy's here
**of course Vannie, darling
***I wanna devour you... devour you neck and crop

Creep: Great, we’ve got implied incest too. What a way to end it!

*SNIP*

Erik: Would...you guys think less of me if I told you I wrote this fic on my old FF.net account?
Kit: Not really. |3 I write my own twisted shit in my spare time. |D Can’t really judge anyone else.
Creep: I’d facepalm.
Erik: K. So what did you think?
Kit: Eh...It had potential. Potential moments, I should say. If you wanted to branch this into a good, serious story, it certainly has the potential for it...on its own, it was kind of boring.
Creep: Not interesting enough, but....not as boring as Phinbella. Again, unless this was troll fic or an actually funny joke about the implications of DoofXPerry canon-wise, I don’t get this pairing. :/ Maybe Doof and Perry ACTING like an old married couple or something.
Erik: Anywhere in particular I should have improved?
Kit: The random German, for starters.
Creep: And Vanessa; what was the point of her being in this story, exactly?
Kit: One of the potential moments...but on its own, yeah, what WAS the point?
Creep: Again, I’d find it more accepting it was joking about the relationship in the end or a deeper insight, not just pointless smut that doesn’t tell us ANYTHING about Doof or Perry or their relationship.
Kit: Exactly.
Erik: Well....yeah...probably didn’t fall for it, but I didn’t write that. XD
Creep: I know you didn’t.
Kit: Yeah. |D
Erik: Ready for the next one?
Creep: No sex this time.
Kit: NO MORE SMUT.
Creep: Have a crappy story or something.