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I honestly never thought I'd feel the need to write something like this, but after not only experiencing this sort of thing myself, but also seeing other people undergo the same sort of treatment, I felt it was time to be a bit more vocal on the issue. Of course, I can only really speak from my own perspective.

First and foremost, let me start this off by saying I absolutely love to do favors for people. I love being able to draw someone's beloved character, or to oto a bank for a new UTAU user, and I typically expect little to nothing in return. And it feels nice! It feels great to brighten someone's day. It doesn't even necessarily have to be my offer; I don't mind being asked to draw something or oto a bank once or twice, either, so long as it's done with a sense of politeness, and not entitlement.

In the past, and up until very recently, I often allowed my kindness (and myself in general) to be taken advantage of. Even now, I still have trouble telling people "no", or refusing offers or requests. But in the end, all that really did was cause me stress and degrade my self-esteem. This also has a negative effect of causing people to, as I just mentioned, take advantage of what I offer. Favors became things that were expected, with the reasoning of "but you've always done things for me before," and my time began to be treated as almost a convenience item of the requester.

Allow me to say this; to treat someone you claim to be a friend as someone who ought to serve your every beck and call with little or no compensation is rude, disrespectful, and in some ways, manipulative. Which, on the surface, taking advantage of a friend for art or favors sounds a little bit much to make a fuss over. But digging deeper, it's taking advantage of someone's kindness, time, effort, and patience, as if it's something that is owed, rather than something that ought to be earned. I'm not saying that a person's kindness and patience is something that can or should be bought, but the idea of paying a friend for their hard work is something that ought to be considered, if not offered. Further, if the artist declines the offer, for whatever reason, be it a lack of time or energy, the refusal ought to be accepted with dignity. Disappointment is even acceptable, if it isn't used to try and guilt-trip the artist into yielding to the request.

Furthermore, nagging an artist friend about requests, be them accepted or not, through instant message or private messages or emails, is also rude. Not only can this sort of behavior stress them out, but it's almost guaranteed NOT to get them to work on your request faster. Inquiring about the status of a commission is a bit more understandable, but still does not excuse pestering.

I'd also like to address another big issue: volunteering an artist friend for favors. This is stressful for a variety of reasons. Not only does it put pressure on the artist for not wanting to disappoint the third party, but it can be even more stressful if the third party is a complete stranger. Why should this friend feel obligated to devote hours of their personal time and effort for a person they don't know, and with little to know payment in return? It's all extremely one-sided.

Often I've found that the reasons I feel obligated to accept unfair offers like the ones I've mentioned above are the same each time. I've been afraid of the requester(s) retaliating, and/or trying to tarnish my reputation online, or I've been afraid to put my foot down and possibly damage a friendship. The thing is, being used isn't a part of friendship. If someone who claims to be your friend can't handle being told "no" on something so one-sided against you, it wasn't meant to last. If you're an artist who's experienced something similar, know this, and know it with confidence. You deserve to be treated better. Your skill, your talent, your time, your energy, is something that deserves compensation. I don't care if you're the worst artist in the world, if you draw stick figures, or if you touch up the paint on the Sistine Chapel- your effort and energy deserve to be rewarded. Don't allow people to suck the life out of a hobby you love. And if you're a "friend" who continuously abuses a friend's kindness and effort, you might want to rethink what you're the artist's friend for. If your main reason is "free art", you may want to work on less shallow thinking. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and courtesy.

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