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chocolafied β ::Moonstroke:: Do-Over
Published: 2013-06-12 11:12:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 5733; Favourites: 173; Downloads: 5
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Description
"What are you doing?"As she walked towards him purposefully he didn't want to admit the confident sway of her body made him unnaturally nervous. "We're going to redo our introductions"
"Why?" he asked incredulously.
"Because we're starting over. So no bowing or anything."
Getting closer than anyone had dared to she stuck out her arm, hand open and welcoming from her natural light. The greeting she offered was one only witnessed on Earth; he'd shared it once with Hiccup, many eons ago and he couldn't recall the reasoning. But he did remember it held a personable comfort that wasn't present in any of the regulated greetings that'd been drilled into his mind.
"I'm Rapunzel."
~T~
So my friend is writing a collab-story with another friend, called Moonstroke, which the first chapter of can be found here: [link]
I'm actually happy with the way this one turned out!
So GO READ IT! IT IS AMAZING see if you can spot the sailor moon cameo uwu
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Comments: 22
I'm so going to read this fic now ee.
I really like the design of Rapunzels dress here. It reminds me of a greek goddess, what I love tbh.
I like the arms of both (sounds kinda strange maybe? xD) and Punzies hand seems so welcoming T//T.
I just think that you could do a bit more shadowing (except in Jacks hair). But Rapunzels hair and skin would need more contrast, I think :/ Especially with the light/dark theme it would make a greater impression imo. Also I was never really a fan of cross section (I hope this is the correct word...) plus open mouths. I don't know why, I just don't like it THAT much.
Okay, enough critism now (I hope you aren't offended, I just want to help a bit, which is maybe hard to believe since you never saw art of mine and I'm not good at drawing 8"D).
I will definetely think of this while reading! β₯
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Hehe, I've had worse critiques 
Thanks for the feedback. Mouths are hard for me so maybe my next picture will look a bit better uwu
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Ok, then I'm relieved ^^. I don't want to be too harsh, but I'm always a bit picky with fanarts since one of my friends is good at drawing and she had the habit to tell me my mistakes and I don't want to judge your art as bad because it really isn't! Also I just don't like to write an "aww"-comment.
I understand the idea but then I would make her light a bit brighter. Maybe it's my laptop but the light that surrounds her is so faint I barely noticed it first. And when you have light there are also sharper shadows (maybe not on Rapunzel when she is the light but then Jack's front body had to be brighter and his back darker). I hope you understand what I mean x_x;;
Not only for you, mouths are hard to draw. Especially from the side (that's why I prefer the front view more, but that wouldn't fit the scene I guess).
Keep drawing (& writing)! β₯
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Haha, don't worry about me being upset. It takes a lot to upset me ^^ I think it's your laptop though because on my screen it looks fine. Although then it could be my screen too... Go figure
I figured since the scene has them shaking hands, a side view would fit best. I guess I made him look more derp than speechless :l
Thank you! Keep cosplaying!
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This is cute. Jackunzel is adorable! Love the way you draw.
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Indeed this ship is adorable 
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Oh my gosh....This is freaken amazing! Your work is awesome!!
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Thank you! You're too kind uwu
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This is great!! However . . . this so reminds me of Syaoran and Sakura from Tsubasa Chronicles . . . and I love them!!! 
P.S. Got the cameo.
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Haha, they are kinda alike I suppose!
I thought the cameo was awsome psh
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No Problem! They are, aren't they.
Yes, it was awesome. Then I got all the cameos, and just started squealing.
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They'll hopefully post the second chapter soon! ^^ Eva told me that they were aiming for Wednesday updates! And it's rated 'M'...
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Great, can't wait!!
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It is going to be quite quite 'M' so yes prepare yourself XD We'll change the rating once things get spicy. Eva and I really went all out with this one. Thank you so much for the beautiful art. I'm Mic Mic by the way I have been adoring this all day but haven't had time to stop and tell you my appreciation so forgive me ^^
I love the glow you put around Punz and how Jack is so shrouded in darkness! Not to mention how exceedingly beautifully you did her golden dress! It's just the readers will be able to visualize it so well now! I also adore the little braids hanging along the sides of Punz's head. I imagine she redoes her hair everyday heh just absentmindedly and for fun! jack's facial expression is perfect! You so got across Eva's written feelings of Jack not knowing what to do with her open hand. Punz is just so sweet starting introductions with her lovely spunky attitude! So excited to see more and more reviews from you! Thank you so much for being willing to draw art for our humble story.
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Thank you! You and Eva did a wonderful job on the first chapter uwu She sent me her concept sketches of the both of them and I worked off of that and the details in the story!
As for the expressions, it came naturally uwu thank you for such kind words! iwillbestalkingyounow I look forward to the next update
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