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Description
Spencer's Collection

To say Spencer Wright had a large movie collection was like saying Hollywood only had a passing interest in celebrities. Last time he bothered to sit down and count, Spencer figured he had between 280 and 290 DVDs on his shelf. This did not factor in 2-disc special editions, boxsets, or any duplicates he had lying around. At the very least 80 percent of his movies fell under the 'horror' genre. He had some films he referred to as 'movies about movies', a handful of collected early shorts from certain directors, a copy or two that were technical instruction videos on camera work, and somewhere he also kept an untidy spot for live concert DVDs of a certain late rockstar.
Of the majority of horror movies on the shelf, only Spencer could really understand what movie was kept where. The collection was so narrowed down into sub genres, country of origin, and in some cases specific directors, that trying to find anything without Spencer explaining his 'filing system', would most likely end up being an entire day's work. There was a space for 'horror sci-fi', but movies made before 1970 on a B-grade budget were under their own category entirely regardless if they were sci-fi or not. Horror movies made in Italy had an entire shelf, which itself was then further divided into sub-genres. Except the Italian-horror movies directed by Lucio Fulci, who had his own shelf of honour. To a casual observer, the 'Bookcase of Horror' would look like nothing more than a wall of chaos, with not a single rational thought behind where anything was put. And yet, it took Spencer less than 2 minutes to notice when something was miss-categorised.
With all this in mind, Billy Joe Cobra stood with the bookcase looming over him. The seemingly endless line of DVD spines blurring together into a giant mosaic of black, reds and browns, with an occasional burst of green.
“Uhm... which flick did you want again, bro?” Billy asked, pulling out a random case to inspect its cover before immediately shoving it back, wishing he hadn't.
Spencer sighed from somewhere in front of his computer. “I told you, Billy. 'Death Bed: The Bed that Eats'. Seriously, how hard do you have to try to forget a title like that?”
“Oh yeah, right right. I knew that,” Billy brushed him off, turning back to the wall of 'Everything-Billy-Joe-is-Going-to-Have-Nightmares-About-Tonight'.
He bit his lip as he reached out and hoped against all odds that the next movie he pulled out would be the one Spencer had decided was going to be their cap to the weekend. Billy shut his eyes until he had the DVD cover right in front of him, at which point he dared to peek through his fingers at what he had just picked up.
He did not catch the thing's name, but seeing as the cover featured what Billy thought of as a 'headshot' of something that was at some stage a dude, now torn up and green, Billy did not waste time trying to read the over enthusiastic title.
He screamed, shoved the DVD upside down back on the shelf, and then spun to face the back of Spencer's chair, waving a finger at the bookcase.
“Dude! What is wrong with you, Bromastiff?!” He yelled. “How the heck do you even have half of this stuff?! Aren't you like, twelve years old?!”
“I'm fourteen, Billy.” Spencer said with a flat tone, staying focused on the screen in front of him as he copied down an answer onto his stack of homework. He knew his cousin was perfectly aware of how old he was, and was just trying to bait Spencer into paying more attention to him.
“Same difference!” Billy went on, still waving wildly. “What kind of messed up country do we live in where any kid can just powerslide up to a counter and buy ten copies of 'Extremely messed up Crud volume two' and no-one stops to think that maybe they shouldn't be selling him this kinda garbage!”
“The same kind of country that let's Ponzi give a guy homework over a weekend that includes writing an essay on the main exports of Slovakia.” Spencer said, non-pulsed. “Look, if you can't find it, just pick something else, ok? I really gotta finish this or we're not gonna have time to watch anything before I go to bed.”
Billy folded his arms and made some offhanded comments before turning back to the movie collection. He scanned the titles, biting down on his nails as he tried to find something that did not have 'blood', 'gore', 'massacre' or 'entrails' in its title. The movies with innocent-sounding titles he risked pulling down to look at their covers. Not a single one looked like something he wanted popping back into his head later while trying to sleep.
“Don't you have a ton of those dumb monster movies?” Billy said, resisting the urge to toss the latest case over his shoulder to the floor. Spencer had made it very clear on a number of occasions that although he did not mind some clutter in their room, he did mind his movies getting potentially damaged.
Spencer sighed again. “Yes, Billy. I've got a ton of monster movies,” This time, he actually half-turned the chair to look over his shoulder. “They should be there. I usually keep them near the top along with the kaiju movies.”
“Gesundheit,” Billy said absently as he floated up a little higher.
Spencer did not bother correcting him. He had exactly one paragraph left to write about coal, iron, copper and salt before he could shove Ponzi's stupid essay into his backpack and go about the rest of his life never thinking about Slovakia ever again.
Billy felt a lot more comfortable with the movies on this shelf. The first one he pulled out did not even have anything psychologically scarring on its cover. As he went through the row, now grinning to himself as he tried to decide which flavor of city destruction he was in the mood for, he noticed a black cardboard box sitting on the very top of the bookcase. It was being used to prop up some DVDs of Spencer's very early movies he had made back in Minnesota. Spencer's movies were all clearly marked, had their own individual cases, and in some instances, even their own cover pictures, possibly drawn by a very young Spencer himself. The box on the other hand, had nothing on it.
Forgetting his movie search, Billy immediately turned his attention to the new mystery as he flew to pick it up. There was nothing written on its lid to hint at what was suppose to be in it, which Billy found both surprising and immediately interesting. He was about to rip off the lid and take a look inside when he was reminded of the long list of nightmarish DVD covers he had just gone through trying to find Spencer's stupid bed movie. He held the box out at arm's length, frowning at it. Billy was almost positive it had to be holding more DVDs. Spencer was not what he would call a neat-freak, but if there was an empty spot on the movie bookcase, Spencer would find a way to fill it up with more movies. Anything not movie related was stuffed and stored somewhere else. The movie bookcase was for movies. Terrible, horrifying, soul-scarring movies. So what kind of movies exactly did Spencer feel the need to stuff in a box and keep out of reach?
Bursting with eagerness that it might contain something hilarious and embarrassing, but also cowed by the idea of something even worse than what he had been going through already, Billy zipped over to his BFF and shoved the box into his face, hovering over his head.
“Hey Brocahontas! What's with the box?”
Spencer looked up, more than a little annoyed. “Billy, I'm telling you I just need ten more minutes-...” He stopped as his eyes landed on the thing being held down to him. “Hey! Where'd you find that?!”
“Top shelf,” Billy said, taking the box back to lift a corner of its lid, peering inside. “So what's in it? Home movies?”
“No, now give it back,” Spencer frowned, turning the chair and getting up.
Getting Spencer's full attention made Billy grin wildly as he lifted the box out of his reach. “C'mon, dude! Tell me what's in it! School plays? Ooh! Or maybe really sucky movies you made when you were like 5?”
“Hey!” Spencer whined, insulted. “No! Look, it's not home movies or my early movies or anything like that! Really!”
“So what is it?” Billy urged. He suddenly froze, his face blanking. He then broke into what Spencer could only describe as a grin turned to full 'sleazebag' mode as he cocked an eyebrow at him, weighing the box up and down in one hand.
“Are you hiding something you're not old enough to have yet, Spence?” The grin, somehow, widened as he made a tsking noise. “Ya know, if you're gonna hide something from your mom, you gotta do better than a box right in the open.”
“No!” Spencer felt his face flare up. “I don't even wanna know what you're thinking but just, no! Its nothing like that!”
“Aww, c'mon Spensaur! You can level with me. I totally get it,” The grin had not gone as Billy pulled up a corner of the box to peer inside again, this time with less hesitation.
“I'm telling you it's nothing like that!” Spencer repeated, completely flustered. “Look it's..!” He hesitated. “Ok! You wanna know? Fine, I'll tell you! But you gotta give it back, first!”
“How do I know you're not just gonna hide it somewhere and keep your dirty secrets to yourself?” Billy said, crossing his legs where he floated.
“I told you! It's totally innocent! Just give it back and I'll tell you what's up!” Spencer was by now jumping at the ghost, trying in vain to grab the box from him.
“If it's totally innocent, why d'you gotta hide it?” Billy grinned at him, lowering the box just enough for Spencer's fingers to graze it before he yanked it out of reach again.
Spencer scoffed. “Who exactly would you tell if it was something I didn't want people to know about? My mom?”
“I could always tell the Jeevster,” Billy said, twisting to float upside down as he looked the box over again.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Any movie I'd have to keep secret is probably something Rajeev would ask to borrow if he found out about it,” he stopped his pathetic jumping and stood to face his cousin head-on, shooting out a hand meaningfully. “Give it back and I'll tell you what's in it.”
“Alright, but I'm trusting you to be straight with me, Broseph,” Billy caved, floating down and handing the box over.
Spencer visibly relaxed as he took hold of it again. He then turned, shot Billy a halfhearted dirty look, and went to put it back on his bookcase. “It's not a big secret or anything. It's just some stuff I don't really want open on the shelves.”
“Liiiiike?” Billy urged, sleazy grin returning.
Spencer pulled a face as he knelt down to put the box on the lowest shelf instead. “Like...” He hesitated again. He then smiled and turned to Billy properly. “Like some of the most messed up movies you could even imagine!”
Billy made a noise, crossing his arms behind his head. “Not buying it. All your movies are the most messed up things I can even imagine.”
“Exactly!” Spencer said, smiling back. “So now imagine what kind of movies I'm not putting on the shelf.”
Billy regarded him for a moment. “You're bluffing.”
“For real,” Spencer said. “Seriously, you don't even wanna know what some people have put on camera!”
“You're so full of it, Spencil-case!” Billy said, leaning towards him as he crossed his arms. “Give me an example!”
“An example?” Spencer blinked before grinning. “Are you sure you want me to tell you?”
“Duh. I just said that, didn't I?” Billy said, although Spencer noticed the growing uncertainty in his face.
“Well, alright. If you really want to know. I mean, there is a reason I keep them covered and out of sight you know.” Spencer pushed.
“So give me some details, man!” Billy said, refusing to back down. “Besides, nothing could be worse than that ventriloquist movie you showed me last week!
“Well okay,” Spencer grinned at him, pausing for a moment as he put his fingertips together almost menacingly. “You ever hear of a movie called 'Cannibal Holocaust?”
He waited to see what effect this would have. Billy crossed his legs, one foot twitching nervously as he avoided eye-contact. “Maybe. Maybe not. I don't remember movie titles of stuff I didn't star in.”
“Oh, you'd remember this one,” Spencer said with a slight laugh. “1980? First movie ever to use the 'found footage' gimmick?”
Billy gave him an apathetic look.
“Alright,” Spencer went on, He spread his hands dramatically, launching into a full movie pitch. “So it's about these wannabe documentary students who go to the Amazon to find and film cannibals. Only when they get there and they find the cannibals are actually pretty chill, they decide they want a little more action in their film.”
He stopped, giving Billy a sideways look. Billy's foot was still twitching, but he looked a little wider-eyed. Noticing Spencer watching him however, he sniffed and leaned back on thin air.
“Big deal. So it's an 80s Blair Witch without any actual witch and some jungle. I'm not seeing the big deal here, bro.”
“Well yeah, that's the idea,” Spencer went on. “It kinda starts with you thinking its just gonna be about cannibals chasing people through the jungle. But then things get real. The documentary wannabes start picking fights, breaking tribe rules and even start burning down their village. And that's when the cannibals decide they've had enough of these dipwads.” He paused for dramatic effect, watching in satisfaction as Billy was leaning closer and closer with each sentence, his hand fiddling with his jacket sleeve.
“Before you know it, the movie gives you the most insane, violent, blood soaked massacre ever put on film!” Spencer continued. “And for a movie that had an earlier shot of a girl impaled on a pole, that's pretty impressive! So the cannibals start tearing these guys literally apart! I think the director used some stuff from a local butchery or something because I can tell you from an effects side of things, those ribcages were not fakes! And these guys get eaten alive as the cannibals beat them to death with their own camera equipment for about 20 minutes straight!”
Billy said nothing, his mouth drawn into a tight line as his hands clenched into fists on his sleeves. Spencer decided to drive it home.
“The violence is so intense in the movie, the director actually had a murder charge filed against him and had to prove in a court that he didn't really kill his entire cast!”
“He er... he didn't, right?” Billy asked, voice shaking.
“Nah,” Spencer waved a hand at him. “He did however get four years probation for killing at least six animals in front of the camera. Which is all in the movie by the way. The worst is probably the turtle because after they cut its head off-”
“Ok, ok! Enough already! I get it! Enough with the details!” Billy waved his hands frantically in Spencer's face.
“Hey, you wanted to know,” Spencer shrugged with a smile.
“What is wrong with people?! That's totally whack, man! Are you telling me you've had something like that in my room the whole time?! That's not cool, bro! Ultra mondo mega not cool!” Billy was flailing his arms as if trying to physically shake the mental images out of his head.
“Which is why I keep it and the other movies like it in a box,” Spencer said, crossing his arms as he grinned in victory.
“Forget the box! You need to stuff that noise in a safe! Lined with lead! With an emergency bottle of holy water!” Billy was still ranting. “Dude, why do you even own that?! The heck's wrong with you, Hannibro Lecter?!”
Spencer shrugged again, this time more seriously. “Honestly? I don't really like owning them. But even if I don't like them, they're still important films to have. Besides, I may need them for reference some day.”
If Billy could pale, he would have. “Reference?”
“I mean like camera angles and stuff,” Spencer said, rolling his eyes.
“So not worth it, Spence!” Billy said, eyeing the box on the shelf now with open fear. “Seriously, just chuck the thing! Nobody needs that kinda junk in their life! Or in my life! Especially my life!”
Spencer decided not to comment on Billy's 'life'. “I've thought about it, but I'd rather just keep them as a back up. Besides, some horror forums won't even let you be a member if you don't have at least one of them in your collection. So I'm kinda stuck with them.”
“That's so whacked!” Billy yelled, waving his arms at Spencer instead. “You know what? Why don't you just ditch the horror thing, huh? C'mon! We can totally get you going on something else! Did you ever think about getting into modelling? You don't have the full whammy of BJC looks to go on, but that's what airbrushing's for!”
Spencer laughed, “I think I'm good, thanks.”
“Aww, c'mon!” Billy said, flying over and framing Spencer's face with his fingers. “We could get you a real hairstyle, do something about the whole 'offbrand' look you're trying so hard to rock, maybe a piercing or two. We could totally find something for a photographer to work with if we try hard enough!”
“Thanks. You're really doing a lot for my self-esteem,” Spencer said, pushing Billy's hands away from his face. “Really, Billy. Thanks, but no thanks.”
Billy gave a drawn out groan. “Fine. If you don't wanna use your valuable, and totally selfless, superstar best bro to get you a real life, then I guess I can't exactly force you.” He gave a dramatic sigh. “Torn between doing what's good for you and letting my little brohemian follow his dreams!”
“What about this one?” Spencer interrupted, having tuned out Billy's melodramatics as he pulled a DVD from his bookcase. “You haven't seen 'Return of the Killer Tomatoes' yet, right?”
Billy huffed as he went into a sulk.
“Oh c'mon you big baby,” Spencer chuckled. “It's got a mad scientist that might as well be a cartoon character and a blonde girl who's supposed to be some kind of mutant tomato. It's also got George Clooney being an idiot in it before he got famous.”
Billy shifted where he floated, “Is it scary?”
“Did you not just hear me say 'George Clooney being an idiot'?”
Billy thought this over for a second before he snapped upright like a rubber band, grinning. “Alright, I'm in! You get the flick set up and I'll handle the snackage!”
With that, Billy pinched his nose and 'dove' through the floor in the direction if the kitchen, yelling as he went.
“If there's any of your mom's ginger snaps left, I'm calling dibs!”
“Just don't forget to bring me something to eat too this time, Dorkus,” Spencer chuckled as he made his way to the TV.
As he opened the tray and put the disc in the machine, his smile slowly faded.
'It's not exactly a lie,' He thought.
Spencer did not own a copy of 'Cannibal Holocaust.' In fact, he had never actually watched it himself. But even if he did not own it, and even if it did not exactly represent what was in the box, it was true the DVDs he had hidden in there made him uncomfortable. And it was true that although he had thought about selling them off, he had held on to them in case he needed them for reference one day. So the fact that he had just used a particular DVD he did not own to explain why Billy should leave the box alone, even if the movie did not exactly represent the box's contents, was not really that big of a stretch. It was the same thing in the end. Ok, maybe not completely the same thing, but it was kind of the same thing. So it was not like he really lied.
“Sure,” he flopped down into his chair. “Keep telling yourself that, Spencer.”
A few minutes later his blank stare at the TV was interrupted by the upside down face of Billy as the ghost hovered over him. “Something up, Spence?”
Spencer straightened himself in his chair and gave his cousin a grin, “Just doing my best to forget everything I learned for Ponzi's stupid essay.”
“Right on,” Billy said with a laugh, dumping a steaming popcorn bag in Spencer's lap before throwing himself horizontally over the other chair, shoveling junk food into his mouth. “Let the brain melting begin!”
“You might wanna keep some of that popcorn to throw at the screen,” Spencer said, starting the film up.
“A popcorn thrower? Nice,” Billy grinned a mouth full of kernels at him.
Spencer sunk into his chair and tried his best to focus on one of the dumbest movies he owned, laughing every time Billy burst into hysterics at whatever stupidity the movie decided qualified as a 'joke'. Spencer definitely did not think about the fact that he had now lied to Billy twice in a row. Or how that made him feel like a bad friend, especially over something so stupid and unimportant as what movies he owned and which ones he kept secret.

Description
Spencer's Collection

To say Spencer Wright had a large movie collection was like saying Hollywood only had a passing interest in celebrities. Last time he bothered to sit down and count, Spencer figured he had between 280 and 290 DVDs on his shelf. This did not factor in 2-disc special editions, boxsets, or any duplicates he had lying around. At the very least 80 percent of his movies fell under the 'horror' genre. He had some films he referred to as 'movies about movies', a handful of collected early shorts from certain directors, a copy or two that were technical instruction videos on camera work, and somewhere he also kept an untidy spot for live concert DVDs of a certain late rockstar.
Of the majority of horror movies on the shelf, only Spencer could really understand what movie was kept where. The collection was so narrowed down into sub genres, country of origin, and in some cases specific directors, that trying to find anything without Spencer explaining his 'filing system', would most likely end up being an entire day's work. There was a space for 'horror sci-fi', but movies made before 1970 on a B-grade budget were under their own category entirely regardless if they were sci-fi or not. Horror movies made in Italy had an entire shelf, which itself was then further divided into sub-genres. Except the Italian-horror movies directed by Lucio Fulci, who had his own shelf of honour. To a casual observer, the 'Bookcase of Horror' would look like nothing more than a wall of chaos, with not a single rational thought behind where anything was put. And yet, it took Spencer less than 2 minutes to notice when something was miss-categorised.
With all this in mind, Billy Joe Cobra stood with the bookcase looming over him. The seemingly endless line of DVD spines blurring together into a giant mosaic of black, reds and browns, with an occasional burst of green.
“Uhm... which flick did you want again, bro?” Billy asked, pulling out a random case to inspect its cover before immediately shoving it back, wishing he hadn't.
Spencer sighed from somewhere in front of his computer. “I told you, Billy. 'Death Bed: The Bed that Eats'. Seriously, how hard do you have to try to forget a title like that?”
“Oh yeah, right right. I knew that,” Billy brushed him off, turning back to the wall of 'Everything-Billy-Joe-is-Going-to-Have-Nightmares-About-Tonight'.
He bit his lip as he reached out and hoped against all odds that the next movie he pulled out would be the one Spencer had decided was going to be their cap to the weekend. Billy shut his eyes until he had the DVD cover right in front of him, at which point he dared to peek through his fingers at what he had just picked up.
He did not catch the thing's name, but seeing as the cover featured what Billy thought of as a 'headshot' of something that was at some stage a dude, now torn up and green, Billy did not waste time trying to read the over enthusiastic title.
He screamed, shoved the DVD upside down back on the shelf, and then spun to face the back of Spencer's chair, waving a finger at the bookcase.
“Dude! What is wrong with you, Bromastiff?!” He yelled. “How the heck do you even have half of this stuff?! Aren't you like, twelve years old?!”
“I'm fourteen, Billy.” Spencer said with a flat tone, staying focused on the screen in front of him as he copied down an answer onto his stack of homework. He knew his cousin was perfectly aware of how old he was, and was just trying to bait Spencer into paying more attention to him.
“Same difference!” Billy went on, still waving wildly. “What kind of messed up country do we live in where any kid can just powerslide up to a counter and buy ten copies of 'Extremely messed up Crud volume two' and no-one stops to think that maybe they shouldn't be selling him this kinda garbage!”
“The same kind of country that let's Ponzi give a guy homework over a weekend that includes writing an essay on the main exports of Slovakia.” Spencer said, non-pulsed. “Look, if you can't find it, just pick something else, ok? I really gotta finish this or we're not gonna have time to watch anything before I go to bed.”
Billy folded his arms and made some offhanded comments before turning back to the movie collection. He scanned the titles, biting down on his nails as he tried to find something that did not have 'blood', 'gore', 'massacre' or 'entrails' in its title. The movies with innocent-sounding titles he risked pulling down to look at their covers. Not a single one looked like something he wanted popping back into his head later while trying to sleep.
“Don't you have a ton of those dumb monster movies?” Billy said, resisting the urge to toss the latest case over his shoulder to the floor. Spencer had made it very clear on a number of occasions that although he did not mind some clutter in their room, he did mind his movies getting potentially damaged.
Spencer sighed again. “Yes, Billy. I've got a ton of monster movies,” This time, he actually half-turned the chair to look over his shoulder. “They should be there. I usually keep them near the top along with the kaiju movies.”
“Gesundheit,” Billy said absently as he floated up a little higher.
Spencer did not bother correcting him. He had exactly one paragraph left to write about coal, iron, copper and salt before he could shove Ponzi's stupid essay into his backpack and go about the rest of his life never thinking about Slovakia ever again.
Billy felt a lot more comfortable with the movies on this shelf. The first one he pulled out did not even have anything psychologically scarring on its cover. As he went through the row, now grinning to himself as he tried to decide which flavor of city destruction he was in the mood for, he noticed a black cardboard box sitting on the very top of the bookcase. It was being used to prop up some DVDs of Spencer's very early movies he had made back in Minnesota. Spencer's movies were all clearly marked, had their own individual cases, and in some instances, even their own cover pictures, possibly drawn by a very young Spencer himself. The box on the other hand, had nothing on it.
Forgetting his movie search, Billy immediately turned his attention to the new mystery as he flew to pick it up. There was nothing written on its lid to hint at what was suppose to be in it, which Billy found both surprising and immediately interesting. He was about to rip off the lid and take a look inside when he was reminded of the long list of nightmarish DVD covers he had just gone through trying to find Spencer's stupid bed movie. He held the box out at arm's length, frowning at it. Billy was almost positive it had to be holding more DVDs. Spencer was not what he would call a neat-freak, but if there was an empty spot on the movie bookcase, Spencer would find a way to fill it up with more movies. Anything not movie related was stuffed and stored somewhere else. The movie bookcase was for movies. Terrible, horrifying, soul-scarring movies. So what kind of movies exactly did Spencer feel the need to stuff in a box and keep out of reach?
Bursting with eagerness that it might contain something hilarious and embarrassing, but also cowed by the idea of something even worse than what he had been going through already, Billy zipped over to his BFF and shoved the box into his face, hovering over his head.
“Hey Brocahontas! What's with the box?”
Spencer looked up, more than a little annoyed. “Billy, I'm telling you I just need ten more minutes-...” He stopped as his eyes landed on the thing being held down to him. “Hey! Where'd you find that?!”
“Top shelf,” Billy said, taking the box back to lift a corner of its lid, peering inside. “So what's in it? Home movies?”
“No, now give it back,” Spencer frowned, turning the chair and getting up.
Getting Spencer's full attention made Billy grin wildly as he lifted the box out of his reach. “C'mon, dude! Tell me what's in it! School plays? Ooh! Or maybe really sucky movies you made when you were like 5?”
“Hey!” Spencer whined, insulted. “No! Look, it's not home movies or my early movies or anything like that! Really!”
“So what is it?” Billy urged. He suddenly froze, his face blanking. He then broke into what Spencer could only describe as a grin turned to full 'sleazebag' mode as he cocked an eyebrow at him, weighing the box up and down in one hand.
“Are you hiding something you're not old enough to have yet, Spence?” The grin, somehow, widened as he made a tsking noise. “Ya know, if you're gonna hide something from your mom, you gotta do better than a box right in the open.”
“No!” Spencer felt his face flare up. “I don't even wanna know what you're thinking but just, no! Its nothing like that!”
“Aww, c'mon Spensaur! You can level with me. I totally get it,” The grin had not gone as Billy pulled up a corner of the box to peer inside again, this time with less hesitation.
“I'm telling you it's nothing like that!” Spencer repeated, completely flustered. “Look it's..!” He hesitated. “Ok! You wanna know? Fine, I'll tell you! But you gotta give it back, first!”
“How do I know you're not just gonna hide it somewhere and keep your dirty secrets to yourself?” Billy said, crossing his legs where he floated.
“I told you! It's totally innocent! Just give it back and I'll tell you what's up!” Spencer was by now jumping at the ghost, trying in vain to grab the box from him.
“If it's totally innocent, why d'you gotta hide it?” Billy grinned at him, lowering the box just enough for Spencer's fingers to graze it before he yanked it out of reach again.
Spencer scoffed. “Who exactly would you tell if it was something I didn't want people to know about? My mom?”
“I could always tell the Jeevster,” Billy said, twisting to float upside down as he looked the box over again.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Any movie I'd have to keep secret is probably something Rajeev would ask to borrow if he found out about it,” he stopped his pathetic jumping and stood to face his cousin head-on, shooting out a hand meaningfully. “Give it back and I'll tell you what's in it.”
“Alright, but I'm trusting you to be straight with me, Broseph,” Billy caved, floating down and handing the box over.
Spencer visibly relaxed as he took hold of it again. He then turned, shot Billy a halfhearted dirty look, and went to put it back on his bookcase. “It's not a big secret or anything. It's just some stuff I don't really want open on the shelves.”
“Liiiiike?” Billy urged, sleazy grin returning.
Spencer pulled a face as he knelt down to put the box on the lowest shelf instead. “Like...” He hesitated again. He then smiled and turned to Billy properly. “Like some of the most messed up movies you could even imagine!”
Billy made a noise, crossing his arms behind his head. “Not buying it. All your movies are the most messed up things I can even imagine.”
“Exactly!” Spencer said, smiling back. “So now imagine what kind of movies I'm not putting on the shelf.”
Billy regarded him for a moment. “You're bluffing.”
“For real,” Spencer said. “Seriously, you don't even wanna know what some people have put on camera!”
“You're so full of it, Spencil-case!” Billy said, leaning towards him as he crossed his arms. “Give me an example!”
“An example?” Spencer blinked before grinning. “Are you sure you want me to tell you?”
“Duh. I just said that, didn't I?” Billy said, although Spencer noticed the growing uncertainty in his face.
“Well, alright. If you really want to know. I mean, there is a reason I keep them covered and out of sight you know.” Spencer pushed.
“So give me some details, man!” Billy said, refusing to back down. “Besides, nothing could be worse than that ventriloquist movie you showed me last week!
“Well okay,” Spencer grinned at him, pausing for a moment as he put his fingertips together almost menacingly. “You ever hear of a movie called 'Cannibal Holocaust?”
He waited to see what effect this would have. Billy crossed his legs, one foot twitching nervously as he avoided eye-contact. “Maybe. Maybe not. I don't remember movie titles of stuff I didn't star in.”
“Oh, you'd remember this one,” Spencer said with a slight laugh. “1980? First movie ever to use the 'found footage' gimmick?”
Billy gave him an apathetic look.
“Alright,” Spencer went on, He spread his hands dramatically, launching into a full movie pitch. “So it's about these wannabe documentary students who go to the Amazon to find and film cannibals. Only when they get there and they find the cannibals are actually pretty chill, they decide they want a little more action in their film.”
He stopped, giving Billy a sideways look. Billy's foot was still twitching, but he looked a little wider-eyed. Noticing Spencer watching him however, he sniffed and leaned back on thin air.
“Big deal. So it's an 80s Blair Witch without any actual witch and some jungle. I'm not seeing the big deal here, bro.”
“Well yeah, that's the idea,” Spencer went on. “It kinda starts with you thinking its just gonna be about cannibals chasing people through the jungle. But then things get real. The documentary wannabes start picking fights, breaking tribe rules and even start burning down their village. And that's when the cannibals decide they've had enough of these dipwads.” He paused for dramatic effect, watching in satisfaction as Billy was leaning closer and closer with each sentence, his hand fiddling with his jacket sleeve.
“Before you know it, the movie gives you the most insane, violent, blood soaked massacre ever put on film!” Spencer continued. “And for a movie that had an earlier shot of a girl impaled on a pole, that's pretty impressive! So the cannibals start tearing these guys literally apart! I think the director used some stuff from a local butchery or something because I can tell you from an effects side of things, those ribcages were not fakes! And these guys get eaten alive as the cannibals beat them to death with their own camera equipment for about 20 minutes straight!”
Billy said nothing, his mouth drawn into a tight line as his hands clenched into fists on his sleeves. Spencer decided to drive it home.
“The violence is so intense in the movie, the director actually had a murder charge filed against him and had to prove in a court that he didn't really kill his entire cast!”
“He er... he didn't, right?” Billy asked, voice shaking.
“Nah,” Spencer waved a hand at him. “He did however get four years probation for killing at least six animals in front of the camera. Which is all in the movie by the way. The worst is probably the turtle because after they cut its head off-”
“Ok, ok! Enough already! I get it! Enough with the details!” Billy waved his hands frantically in Spencer's face.
“Hey, you wanted to know,” Spencer shrugged with a smile.
“What is wrong with people?! That's totally whack, man! Are you telling me you've had something like that in my room the whole time?! That's not cool, bro! Ultra mondo mega not cool!” Billy was flailing his arms as if trying to physically shake the mental images out of his head.
“Which is why I keep it and the other movies like it in a box,” Spencer said, crossing his arms as he grinned in victory.
“Forget the box! You need to stuff that noise in a safe! Lined with lead! With an emergency bottle of holy water!” Billy was still ranting. “Dude, why do you even own that?! The heck's wrong with you, Hannibro Lecter?!”
Spencer shrugged again, this time more seriously. “Honestly? I don't really like owning them. But even if I don't like them, they're still important films to have. Besides, I may need them for reference some day.”
If Billy could pale, he would have. “Reference?”
“I mean like camera angles and stuff,” Spencer said, rolling his eyes.
“So not worth it, Spence!” Billy said, eyeing the box on the shelf now with open fear. “Seriously, just chuck the thing! Nobody needs that kinda junk in their life! Or in my life! Especially my life!”
Spencer decided not to comment on Billy's 'life'. “I've thought about it, but I'd rather just keep them as a back up. Besides, some horror forums won't even let you be a member if you don't have at least one of them in your collection. So I'm kinda stuck with them.”
“That's so whacked!” Billy yelled, waving his arms at Spencer instead. “You know what? Why don't you just ditch the horror thing, huh? C'mon! We can totally get you going on something else! Did you ever think about getting into modelling? You don't have the full whammy of BJC looks to go on, but that's what airbrushing's for!”
Spencer laughed, “I think I'm good, thanks.”
“Aww, c'mon!” Billy said, flying over and framing Spencer's face with his fingers. “We could get you a real hairstyle, do something about the whole 'offbrand' look you're trying so hard to rock, maybe a piercing or two. We could totally find something for a photographer to work with if we try hard enough!”
“Thanks. You're really doing a lot for my self-esteem,” Spencer said, pushing Billy's hands away from his face. “Really, Billy. Thanks, but no thanks.”
Billy gave a drawn out groan. “Fine. If you don't wanna use your valuable, and totally selfless, superstar best bro to get you a real life, then I guess I can't exactly force you.” He gave a dramatic sigh. “Torn between doing what's good for you and letting my little brohemian follow his dreams!”
“What about this one?” Spencer interrupted, having tuned out Billy's melodramatics as he pulled a DVD from his bookcase. “You haven't seen 'Return of the Killer Tomatoes' yet, right?”
Billy huffed as he went into a sulk.
“Oh c'mon you big baby,” Spencer chuckled. “It's got a mad scientist that might as well be a cartoon character and a blonde girl who's supposed to be some kind of mutant tomato. It's also got George Clooney being an idiot in it before he got famous.”
Billy shifted where he floated, “Is it scary?”
“Did you not just hear me say 'George Clooney being an idiot'?”
Billy thought this over for a second before he snapped upright like a rubber band, grinning. “Alright, I'm in! You get the flick set up and I'll handle the snackage!”
With that, Billy pinched his nose and 'dove' through the floor in the direction if the kitchen, yelling as he went.
“If there's any of your mom's ginger snaps left, I'm calling dibs!”
“Just don't forget to bring me something to eat too this time, Dorkus,” Spencer chuckled as he made his way to the TV.
As he opened the tray and put the disc in the machine, his smile slowly faded.
'It's not exactly a lie,' He thought.
Spencer did not own a copy of 'Cannibal Holocaust.' In fact, he had never actually watched it himself. But even if he did not own it, and even if it did not exactly represent what was in the box, it was true the DVDs he had hidden in there made him uncomfortable. And it was true that although he had thought about selling them off, he had held on to them in case he needed them for reference one day. So the fact that he had just used a particular DVD he did not own to explain why Billy should leave the box alone, even if the movie did not exactly represent the box's contents, was not really that big of a stretch. It was the same thing in the end. Ok, maybe not completely the same thing, but it was kind of the same thing. So it was not like he really lied.
“Sure,” he flopped down into his chair. “Keep telling yourself that, Spencer.”
A few minutes later his blank stare at the TV was interrupted by the upside down face of Billy as the ghost hovered over him. “Something up, Spence?”
Spencer straightened himself in his chair and gave his cousin a grin, “Just doing my best to forget everything I learned for Ponzi's stupid essay.”
“Right on,” Billy said with a laugh, dumping a steaming popcorn bag in Spencer's lap before throwing himself horizontally over the other chair, shoveling junk food into his mouth. “Let the brain melting begin!”
“You might wanna keep some of that popcorn to throw at the screen,” Spencer said, starting the film up.
“A popcorn thrower? Nice,” Billy grinned a mouth full of kernels at him.
Spencer sunk into his chair and tried his best to focus on one of the dumbest movies he owned, laughing every time Billy burst into hysterics at whatever stupidity the movie decided qualified as a 'joke'. Spencer definitely did not think about the fact that he had now lied to Billy twice in a row. Or how that made him feel like a bad friend, especially over something so stupid and unimportant as what movies he owned and which ones he kept secret.