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burdge — Junk of the Heart
Published: 2011-08-10 22:55:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 119936; Favourites: 2508; Downloads: 491
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Description
[link]so. Blosper officially gets a webcomic. OFFICIALLY.
this means a few things:
-it will be updated bi-weekly, or, if i'm feeling up to it, weekly.
-the story will finally be told chronologically.
-you will find out how Prosper got his scar.
-most of it will be written by Clare, alternately ~AndThenYou , with some of her old stories thrown in. (Ferris Wheel anyone?)
-it begins with their graduation, they will already have been dating. ends with the wedding.
THIS HAS TAKEN WAY TOO MUCH PLANNING. dear lord, the info i've had to gather for this fictional couple. pah.
Prosper (c) ~AndThenYou
Blaire (c) me
ps. please stop asking me if these characters are from a book or movie. they're my sister's and my original characters.
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Comments: 554
You have no idea how hard it was for me to not immediately hit FIVE STARS, FIVE STARS, FIVE STARS, FIVE STARS! I'm absolutely terrible at giving judgement and don't even know why I'm writing a critique! I figure I need to learn how to critique things, preferably sooner rather than later, if I ever plan on holding/judging any contests. So, bear in mind that this is my first time doing this EVER. I have, however, edited/critiqued plenty of literature, so maybe that'll help me here.
Alright, let's start with...the things you could work on, I guess, don't people usually start with bad news and then give good news? I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.
WHAT YOU COULD WORK ON
Make the title *brighter* so it can stand out, because it's a clever title and should draw attention to itself!
This might just be me being weird, but the green used for the kitchen walls looks a little...what's the word? Sterile. Like the sort of color you'd see in a hospital. That's probably a strange thing to say, because hospitals are usually white...anyways.
More about the title, the lettering looks like it was rushed. Spending more time on it would make it look even better than it already does!
Last of all, and this is definitely a stylistic thing, but I feel like it'd be cuter if Blaire and Prosper were looking at each other, instead of looking out at the viewer.
THINGS I ESPECIALLY LOVED
As usual, I definitely admire your shading and shapes. If anyone asked me what I love most about Burdge's work, it'd be the shading and the shapes. You shape everything just right - the hair, the way the boxes are starting to collapse under each other's weight (and the weight of the cat).
I've always loved the way you draw noses. I don't know what it is about them, but for some reason...I dunno. Noses. Good. ("My nose has special powers." "Is that why it's so-?" "What?" "Nothing. ...Do your ears have special powers too?" "What's that supposed to mean?" Sorry, random Doctor Who reference.)
Also, I LOVE THE CAT.
Blaire's outfit is awesome and well-drawn, and I love Prosper's shoes.
* * *
Overall, awesome as usual. Hopefully I'm not as useless at writing critiques as I thought I was going to be! But I thought, considering my tendency to ramble on and get off topic, that was pretty good.
~ Ash!
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Their hair and noses are amazing
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Bear in mind I don't think I've ever written one of these, I might have done just one. I like the different forms of media used to create different consistencies and textures throughout. That has always been one of the strong points of your work, even your black and white works. And while the arrangement of the characters on the page could have been a little more creative, the title along with the composition of the two characters creates a sort of flow that binds it all together. The title, juxtaposed against the idea of moving actually is a really good idea for a title page of something like this. Though I don't know the story itself so I'm judging all of this based on this picture here. The characters are well drawn, as they always are with you and it seems special care has been taken with the coloring in this piece. It's really hard for me say anything else about this though as I'm not sure to say. All around, this is a very good work and up to par with your other stuff which I would have to say ranks among some of my favorite.
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Yes I can finally do this the proper way.
I don't mean to be unfair to *BeeFisch but her critique was not at all a critique, just about two paragraphs of unhelpful praise and worship. I'm not writing this to be a dick but to offer honest advice.
The overall composition is okay. My eyes go straight towards the characters which I'm sure is what you intended. The boxes kind of frame the two which I think is a neat idea, though I think it would have been cool if you had random stuff falling out of half-packed boxes that could give you a little insight on who these pretty people are. And be careful how you position those characters, especially that cat. At first I thought he was taking a poop.
But now let's start with the 'texture'. It feels like you colored this with crayon. Though probably not, colored pencil maybe? Whatever you used you were being WAY to heavy handed, I can see where the pencil lines have smudged leaving this kind of gross fuzzy gray color to whatever color you were using (like on the guy's face, around the girl's hair, and all over those boxes).
To combat that I'd suggest this:
LAYERS LAYERS, as my old prof would say 'use the lover's touch'. Don't jam your pencils so hard into the paper. Use layering to build color. Some useful tutorials:
[link]
[link]
Of course you'll find lots more online and on DA but those basically cover 'layering'. I'm no expert on colored pencil but I'm no stranger to them either. I know that a good pencil'd piece comes from lots of soft touches and LOTS of patience.
On to my next point of concern: Depth! Nothing here has depth. The wall and the ceiling don't look like they're at any angle. It just looks like a weird pant job. The floor is so smudged it almost looks lumpy. And the wallpaper through that doorway looks like it's plastered up against the door frame. Like if I were to walk through it I'd bump my nose.
Something like that I suppose comes with lots of practice but it wouldn't hurt to learn a thing or two about perspective. If you plan on making this a comic then having a good sense of perspective will make your panels and shots a million times more interesting. It allows for lots of exciting angles and interesting shots that could bring your viewer into your world. Colors also play a part in perspective. Often times the farther things go back in the distance the bluer and paler they get, and the colors of things up front are more warm (obviously this doesn't apply to EVERYTHING but it works for a lot of environments).
Perspective tutorial:
[link]
Also here are some examples of other colored pencil pieces that have a lot of depth to them.
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
(I tried to find one with a similar composition, sorry not that much on DA I guess xD)
On to the next topic! DESIGN! The characters and cats I'm fine with. The way your draw people is your style so I can't really argue against that. Except that guy's BRIGHT BLUE SHIRT is certainly an eyesore. Along with his BRIGHT GREEN TIE that's so close in value to the shirt that the two blend in to each other. For that I'd just suggest a lighter, duller color or mix of colors. It really feels out of place with the color choices of everything else in the picture.
But anyway design-design-design. Background design! Okay they're in a kitchen or whatever in a house with tacky wallpaper, we get that. But jeez everything looks like it was just placed there, like stage props. The cool thing with environments is that you can use the bg to help reflect the character's personalities. As I said before, maybe you could have things falling out of the boxes like (think! what would your characters pack?) videogames, maybe the guy wears the same shirt everyday so he has a box full of that one shirt, stuffed animals to show one of them has a childish side, maybe a photo album, or something.
Same thing with the cabinets and the table top back there. Are they disorganized people where their cabinets would be left half open revealing broken bowls and upturned glasses? Is the girl obsessed with sticky notes, leaving little notes everywhere of things that need to get done? Is the cat a menace where he roles around in mud and leaves tracks everywhere? I'm not saying that these two have to be disgusting but I think you get the idea. Maybe the wallpaper could be peeling a little to give the place a tacky-cheap feeling?
I also can't tell if they're moving in or out of that place. Just something to think about.
And I'm sorry but I would just take that sharpy-marker title completely out. It looks out of place and brings down the overall quality of the image. If you're looking to learn a thing or two about the composition of posters I'd study this guy:
[link]
Drew Struzan! He mostly works in paints but I know he uses colored pencil to block things out.
ANYWAY. I think I got most of it. I apologize for the long comment and the long read but I just wanted to give an honest crit. It's never good for an artist to receive nothing but praise. It slows down the learning process. If you want to get some hardcore crits I'd suggest to start a Sketchbook Thread on conceptart.org. The people there are extremely nice and helpful but also EXTREMELY tough.
Hope this helped a little! And I hope all those links worked too. xD
PS- sorry for the repost
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Haha I wanted to join that ConceptArt.org place, but all the art there is way too professional 
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oh my gosh.
well, i must say thank you for the very in-depth critique. i don't usually ask for it, but i'm sure i will benefit greatly from this one particularly.
i must have REALLY misrepresented parts of this drawing... that's a green shirt he is wearing under a blue jacket, there's no tie. the idea of such a plain background was that they hadn't begun to move anything in yet. but the idea about things falling out of the boxes IS a good one... and i'm in art school now, going over perspective and value and technique; all that good stuff.
i'm no professional, clearly.
maybe i should've said in the description though, that this was entirely for fun and for my followers to get a rather tiny sneak peek of the comic. i didn't spend enough time on it for it to be critiqued so thoroughly. i'll think twice before requesting critique unless it's on a piece i've spent a lot of time and effort on. this was a rather quick and messy update to... sate the curious, so to speak.
i completely agree though. i'd much rather get crit instead of praise. i'll definitely take your advice on, well, too much to list. thanks again! c:
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What a win critique! I love all the examples and tutorials you used to help convey your meaning and stuff. And you had a lot of good points all throughout the critique. And definitely, if this is going to be for a comic, the piece needs to be more dynamic. You can come critique/rip a new one in my stuff any day.
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This is one of the best critiques I've seen so far. Not only you took time to analyze the piece and write about it, but you also presented really good resources and tutorials. And OHMYGOD, that Drew Struzan guy!
I think I'll go study those links too. You're really helpful and I'll thank you for that, even though this critique wasn't directed to me xD.
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It is a nice looking cover/frontpage illustration for a story. The idea of placing them with moving boxes gets the idea across that this is a beginning. That works for me. The only way it could have been better was if it didn't feel like they were just placed in the scene and instead was in some way interacting with it.
I don't think I have seen that as a cover before, but the model with main characters standing in front like that has been seen before. That is why it cannot have the last star.
On technique: I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the lineart. I love it. Though it would benefit from being a bit heavier is my thought.
I do not like the blue marker edge around the title. It bleeds in the corners, is too heavy compared with the rest of the image and has a weird blue tone that, in my eyes, clashes with the rest of the elswise nicely coloured image.
The image as a whole looks a bit loopsided to me, because of his clothes being the darkest in the scene. I feel he needs some counterweight from the background somewhere. The above mentioned blue marker line ruins (in my opinion) the "feel" that your colouring gives. Normally I like it, I find it refreshingly rough and with visible strockes. But when the title is visible here, it just looks messy.
All that said, it is still way better than what I could have done ^^ I really like their poses and mimickry, and the cat is cute too.
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The texture in this is amazing. I feel as if I were touch this, I would feel the sandy like texture of the cardboard boxes. I also love the dimesion. It doesn't look flat at all. It looks like you can step in and walk around their place. And I love the song you matched with this. It really compliments the mood.
I really can't find anything I don't like about this picture. I think your style is very original and that it is shown greatly here. I think my favorite part about the picture is the "This side up". It really exemplifies their blossoming relationship. Every person makes mistakes when it comes to being in a relationship. But when you learn from them together, it makes you stronger. I'm not sure if that's what you meant to imply with it. Maybe it's just comic relief and I'm reading too much into it. Either way, I love it.
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Every single song link...I love them all. How do you know exactly what I'm listening to!?!?!
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IS that the song from the kooks?? sorry for asking I just wanted to know the drawing is awsome though
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how did they first meat and the rest like first date etc?
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when is the web comic thingy gonna be up? I CANT WAIT I WANT TO READ IT SO SO SO BADLY!
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I actually squealed many times while reading the description there, I LOVE BLOSPER!!!!! so you have sparked a bit of my insanity, and caused all formalities to cease. Great picture too. 
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hahahaha the this side up bow is the wrong side up, I LOVE IT!
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soo this has really been progressing... [sarcasm]
<3
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This is awesome! All of your artwork is amazing. I bet you'll be a really famous artist one day (well, you kind of already are)
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Junk of the Heart.....like the song by The Kooks? Or is it just a coincidence? 
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oh a kitty! oh wait people are there too. sorry just kidding i notice them first
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I have a scar on my eyebrow too... I was a tough four year old, i fought a lot.
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Theres a song called Junk of the Heart!
[link]
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not really digging the way you wrote the title on the drawing :/ just sayin
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Eeeeeep! ^o^ When will it be up, if it isn't already? And, where? I need to read this! They're so damn adorable!
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MARSHMALLOW :3 sorry, I just noticed him. haha! godammit, he's so cute! why doesn't Pros like the little fella, huh?
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I don't know if anyone had already saked this or not but why is it called Junk Of The Heart? Is there like some explaination for the title?
Btw, LOVE ur work
This is sooo great (:
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The link in the description leads to a song called "Junk of the Heart".
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Yeah, remember when Prosper coaxed Blaire to bounce a soccer ball on her knee by telling her that he'd tell her how he'd gotten it afterwards? Then he just said that he got it from something sharp. XD
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Oooooooooooooooh, gonna say, I've never seen a scar on the drawings, must not have read all the shorts. *Heads straight for AndThenYou's page*
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i love it
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my brother has the exact same sneakers as Prosper... this just made my day
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So are they from a movie or book or something?
Jk, i love these two! I'm so excited!
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so have yall started the project? if so, where can i find it?
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When will you post the web comic or are you still working on it and planning to upload them all?
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SO. EXCITED. FOR THIS. where can I read it?
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it'll be on my dA! c:
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