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blackoberst — Swansong

Published: 2007-08-11 12:16:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 94; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description Squeeze me tight
Knew you might
Take your time
Hold this line
Closer still
Share this thrill
Is this good
For your mood
Make me yours
On distant shores
On the ground
Without a sound
Stole my voice
'Twas your choice
I feel dumb
Going numb

Can't you see
Look at me
Watch me cry
While I die
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Comments: 2

Melarien [2007-08-28 10:16:21 +0000 UTC]

Rebirth and so on...How much until all the reincarnations will pass to reveal teh true form? I don't like the "while I die" ending. Its rhyme is a little bit artificial, un-natural. Death is not a revelation...Living is, but that's just me.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

blackoberst In reply to Melarien [2007-08-30 19:44:07 +0000 UTC]

Actually that's where this got started. Maybe it went a bit off-road than my initial ideea (something like "enjoy this sight before your eyes? this is me with your hands around my throat... digging..."). So I stick by what's written. Maybe I'll get it right the next time.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0