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Description
For the past few years (and all of my life really) it's been a struggle. I never felt comfortable as female, or moreso, feminine. I avoid feminine clothes at all costs, because it is a major source of discomfort and anxiety. I feel no pride in being a woman, or a man at that. I don't hate my body. I just don't like presenting as feminine. I don't like presenting as male. I don't want male genitals. Everyone told me growing up that I needed to dress girly and wear makeup etc and honestly that just never happened. It makes me so uncomfortable that when I was little I would stay up late thinking of ways I could get out of wearing the clothing that was set out. My dad and his side were never supportive of me just wanting to wear sweat pants and graphic tees. My mom was though, she supported me either way which I was always grateful for. I was never good enough, I never fit in to either gender, I don't feel like a certain gender, and overall I just don't identify with one. I pretty much only wear unisex clothing which makes me feel better. That was a telling sign, as well as feeling 'not right' with female or male. I've tried both, I really have. Something just didn't feel right and it needed to change because I want to feel comfortable with myself physically and mentally. Something needed to change. And after tears, late nights, and lots of stress, I've finally found where I belong. That would be agender. I've known about it for a long time and the idea of identifying as agender was really appealing but I was always too scared. I'm done being scared. Am I a little scared writing this and telling my SO? Yes, I don't know how you guys are going to react. That's the scariest thing, are they going to think differently of me in a negative light? I don't want that, especially from people I care about such as my SO and my friends. I just want this to go over well, and even if it doesn't, I'll deal with it because I believe this is a positive change (or change in identification). It just feels right, like I can breathe and relax. This was not easy to figure out, I did a lot of self loathing (hence why the tears in the drawing) but honestly I think I'm alright now.
If you read that, thank you.
So what changes? Not a lot, I don't mind what pronouns you use! That's something I've figured out. They/them is super nice but I don't mind the others.

Description
For the past few years (and all of my life really) it's been a struggle. I never felt comfortable as female, or moreso, feminine. I avoid feminine clothes at all costs, because it is a major source of discomfort and anxiety. I feel no pride in being a woman, or a man at that. I don't hate my body. I just don't like presenting as feminine. I don't like presenting as male. I don't want male genitals. Everyone told me growing up that I needed to dress girly and wear makeup etc and honestly that just never happened. It makes me so uncomfortable that when I was little I would stay up late thinking of ways I could get out of wearing the clothing that was set out. My dad and his side were never supportive of me just wanting to wear sweat pants and graphic tees. My mom was though, she supported me either way which I was always grateful for. I was never good enough, I never fit in to either gender, I don't feel like a certain gender, and overall I just don't identify with one. I pretty much only wear unisex clothing which makes me feel better. That was a telling sign, as well as feeling 'not right' with female or male. I've tried both, I really have. Something just didn't feel right and it needed to change because I want to feel comfortable with myself physically and mentally. Something needed to change. And after tears, late nights, and lots of stress, I've finally found where I belong. That would be agender. I've known about it for a long time and the idea of identifying as agender was really appealing but I was always too scared. I'm done being scared. Am I a little scared writing this and telling my SO? Yes, I don't know how you guys are going to react. That's the scariest thing, are they going to think differently of me in a negative light? I don't want that, especially from people I care about such as my SO and my friends. I just want this to go over well, and even if it doesn't, I'll deal with it because I believe this is a positive change (or change in identification). It just feels right, like I can breathe and relax. This was not easy to figure out, I did a lot of self loathing (hence why the tears in the drawing) but honestly I think I'm alright now.
If you read that, thank you.
So what changes? Not a lot, I don't mind what pronouns you use! That's something I've figured out. They/them is super nice but I don't mind the others.