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i've been on medications for over four years now (for depression and mild bi-polar disorder). in the beginning, i really thought they were helping. but i guess that's how all the other ones were, too...
it feels like... everything is blurred. fake. you sort of feel like a wind-up toy. when you start to run low on happiness, it winds you back up. or... at least that's what it's supposed to do.
for the past three months, i'd noticed i was getting angrier... and depressed. i thought it was merely because of what i was going through at the time. having been unemployed for quite a long time, feeling so worthless and unwanted, and everyone putting so much pressure on me... i just figured that i would be worse off the medication.
then, about a month ago... i hit rock bottom. wasn't the most depressed i'd ever been... but it was getting on an "extremely dangerous" level, with lack of better terminology. i had never been on a medication for such a long period, and i didn't know what to expect. i knew something had to be wrong.
so, i finally decided to chance it. start getting off the meds. i honestly didn't think it could get any worse.

completely stopped taking my medication a couple weeks ago. i feel like a completely different person. still a little unstable and anxious in social situations... but that is mostly because i've turned myself into a hermit over the past six months. but anyway, with this picture, i was trying to portray that you don't need to literally fly to feel like you are. you can look to the sky, hold up your arms, feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face... and smell the sweet scent of freedom. even with only that, i can fly any day.
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this was a project from Elite Photography's Photo Trade ([link] ). my assignment was "fly". and it was a very fucking hard assignment too i had a lot of ideas, at least five others, but all of them required equipment (and models) i didn't have one of the ideas, which i might actually end up doing (just didn't have time to include it with this submission) involves somehow portraying medication being thrown away. for that idea, i considered doing a shot of meds pouring out of a bottle... but i'm not sure that really portrays it right

i thought this project was going to be fun... and inspiring... and it was, at first. but then it became stressful, for reasons i've already explained. oh well. i guess this photo isn't so bad. just could have done better.

also, i now know why so many chicks use low quality cameras to take self-portraits :/
the medication i've been taking causes red blotches on my cheeks, so had tons of fun fixing that

and, finally, enjoy

Description
i've been on medications for over four years now (for depression and mild bi-polar disorder). in the beginning, i really thought they were helping. but i guess that's how all the other ones were, too...
it feels like... everything is blurred. fake. you sort of feel like a wind-up toy. when you start to run low on happiness, it winds you back up. or... at least that's what it's supposed to do.
for the past three months, i'd noticed i was getting angrier... and depressed. i thought it was merely because of what i was going through at the time. having been unemployed for quite a long time, feeling so worthless and unwanted, and everyone putting so much pressure on me... i just figured that i would be worse off the medication.
then, about a month ago... i hit rock bottom. wasn't the most depressed i'd ever been... but it was getting on an "extremely dangerous" level, with lack of better terminology. i had never been on a medication for such a long period, and i didn't know what to expect. i knew something had to be wrong.
so, i finally decided to chance it. start getting off the meds. i honestly didn't think it could get any worse.

completely stopped taking my medication a couple weeks ago. i feel like a completely different person. still a little unstable and anxious in social situations... but that is mostly because i've turned myself into a hermit over the past six months. but anyway, with this picture, i was trying to portray that you don't need to literally fly to feel like you are. you can look to the sky, hold up your arms, feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face... and smell the sweet scent of freedom. even with only that, i can fly any day.
____________________________________________

this was a project from Elite Photography's Photo Trade ([link] ). my assignment was "fly". and it was a very fucking hard assignment too i had a lot of ideas, at least five others, but all of them required equipment (and models) i didn't have one of the ideas, which i might actually end up doing (just didn't have time to include it with this submission) involves somehow portraying medication being thrown away. for that idea, i considered doing a shot of meds pouring out of a bottle... but i'm not sure that really portrays it right

i thought this project was going to be fun... and inspiring... and it was, at first. but then it became stressful, for reasons i've already explained. oh well. i guess this photo isn't so bad. just could have done better.

also, i now know why so many chicks use low quality cameras to take self-portraits :/
the medication i've been taking causes red blotches on my cheeks, so had tons of fun fixing that

and, finally, enjoy