Comments: 4
aimless-void [2011-07-10 04:45:42 +0000 UTC]
Well now, I'm sorry it took me so long to read these little numbers, for more reasons than one.
This is shaping up to be a pretty darn good read! Your action scenes are fantastic, and the way you've integrated other teams into your story has come through very nicely. Splitting your team up was a good move too, going through every mission available isn't an easy thing to do.
Things get a little muddled in the more dialogue heave areas, but that would really be the only criticism I'd have to offer.
Look forward to seeing how this ends! Very nice work. ^_^
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AceofSpades53 In reply to aimless-void [2011-07-10 05:58:00 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, and I have noticed that about the dialogue. Sometimes i try to keep it short, but sometimes I feel it has to be a little thick for the reader to understand certain things later on. It's a tough choice, honestly.
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aimless-void In reply to AceofSpades53 [2011-07-10 05:59:30 +0000 UTC]
Well, I don't so much mean that you need less, a healthy amount of dialogue is a good thing, just that actions of some characters get mixed up with the dialogue of others at times and makes things a little jumbley. Maybe that's just me, though. :3
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AceofSpades53 In reply to aimless-void [2011-07-10 06:19:45 +0000 UTC]
Maybe it's the way I arrange it. It's something to think about, thanks.
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