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AceofSpades53 — PMD-E Team Durahan m2p18
Published: 2011-07-10 02:15:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 226; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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"This is bad. Really bad. That move…is Ancientpower. If Cirrus gets hit by that… But what can I do? I can move my arms and legs around and that's it. What would Morfius do in a situation like this? Probably just tranform into a Lugia. Then he'd be able to oppose this psychic force with his own. Wait. Opposing forces. I can do something with that!"Psy looked behind him and noticed he wasn't too far from the wall. He then placed both his paws on his chest and abdomen.
"This is the end for you, balloon girl!" Merlot said before launching the large orb. As it hurdled towards Cirrus, crossing over the table, a figure could be seen leaping in the line of fire. It was Psy. Standing the dinner table, he raised his arms in a guarding position and closed his body as much as possible, bracing himself for the incoming attack. Then the giant orb suddenly changed course, hitting a sharp right, destroying the wall. When Psy opened his eyes, he was surprised to see the orb was no longer there, and saw the look of surprise on Merlot's face as well. Psy took this chance to create a ball of light and quickly shot it at Merlot. Merlot used her psychic powers to effortlessly send it flying in another direction, only to get hit in the face by the Shadow Ball that was right behind it, freeing Sorry from her psychic grasp.
"Nice one," said Psy.
"Thanks. But what the hell were you doing back there?!" Cirrus asked angrily.
"You were about to get hit by Merlot's Ancientpower, so I tried blocking it. But it just changed course," Psy answered.
"Yeah, thanks to me. Did you forget I can use Psychic too?" Cirrus said with a snippy tone. "How did you even get down here?"
"I Force Palmed myself into the wall, and used it again on the wall to push myself here," Psy explained. "Wow. That's kinda crazy," Cirrus said.
"I'm sorry! Are you guys okay?" Sorry asked as he reunited with Psy and Cirrus.
"Yeah, we're fine," Cirrus answered. Suddenly they felt themselves being bonded by an unseen force and being lifted into the air.
"I suggest you reconsider your previous statement," Merlot said sinisterly.
"Darn it! She's applying a lot of force! I can't break free with Psychic!" Cirrus yelled out. "Can you try your Force Palm again?"
"Yeah, about that…" Psy began. "She held me with a lot of force, so I had to use even more force to push myself into the wall. Which hurt. A lot. If I try it again, I'm afraid I might knock myself out. Above all that, I can't even move my limbs this time."
"I'm sorry, but Mirror Coat isn't working either!" said Sorry.
"Well, of course not. You're not getting damaged," Cirrus pointed out.
"Oh, right. Sorry," he replied.
"Well… I guess we're sitting Duckletts now," Psy said. "I wonder if Mike and Shroomsworth found the villagers…"
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Comments: 4
Well now, I'm sorry it took me so long to read these little numbers, for more reasons than one.
This is shaping up to be a pretty darn good read! Your action scenes are fantastic, and the way you've integrated other teams into your story has come through very nicely. Splitting your team up was a good move too, going through every mission available isn't an easy thing to do.
Things get a little muddled in the more dialogue heave areas, but that would really be the only criticism I'd have to offer.
Look forward to seeing how this ends! Very nice work. ^_^
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Thanks, and I have noticed that about the dialogue. Sometimes i try to keep it short, but sometimes I feel it has to be a little thick for the reader to understand certain things later on. It's a tough choice, honestly.
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Well, I don't so much mean that you need less, a healthy amount of dialogue is a good thing, just that actions of some characters get mixed up with the dialogue of others at times and makes things a little jumbley. Maybe that's just me, though. :3
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Maybe it's the way I arrange it. It's something to think about, thanks.
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