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007Balel — Tear Drops
Published: 2011-02-24 20:33:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 440; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 6
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Description Tear Drops
(23-02-11)

A tear has been shed,
Pouring down my cheek.
Leaving a heat trail,
For others to follow.

An army slowly following,
All going down the same path.
Seeking their evacuate,
They do so without a thought.

D
R
I
P
.
.
.

D
R
O
P
.
.
.

Leaving my body empty,
Without emotions,
Without any tears.
Just this empty void.

One by one they all leave,
Leaving the captain alone,
To sink with his ship…
Survival of the fittest.

______________________________________________________
Balel
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Comments: 44

DarlingAngel0565 [2011-04-13 18:20:00 +0000 UTC]

There has to be more than what you said
For I felt the pain run through my heart as well
A powerful surge I felt from a far
It hit my heart so greatly and hard
So please tell me the truth please
Maybe it will help clear away some of the fog
And help you see

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

007Balel In reply to DarlingAngel0565 [2011-04-15 08:37:36 +0000 UTC]


I don't know what and how it came to me...

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DarlingAngel0565 In reply to 007Balel [2011-04-18 20:05:09 +0000 UTC]

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007Balel In reply to DarlingAngel0565 [2011-04-19 10:30:13 +0000 UTC]

Hope everything is better

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DarlingAngel0565 In reply to 007Balel [2011-04-19 10:42:18 +0000 UTC]

Not really. Read my journal and feel.

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Avenvia [2011-03-06 21:14:31 +0000 UTC]

Ah, the format on DA is a constant annoyance, but you manage to make this poetic and well laid-out despite the problems with the site

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007Balel In reply to Avenvia [2011-03-06 22:40:21 +0000 UTC]

Thanks
Glad the effect still came out very clear.

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Avenvia In reply to 007Balel [2011-03-07 17:09:31 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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GhostyCell [2011-03-05 13:00:37 +0000 UTC]

This is fantastic, I can feel it so much, beautiful writing!!

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007Balel In reply to GhostyCell [2011-03-05 13:10:09 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the comment.
I am glad people can relate....
Even if certain things are not goo relating to...

But Thanks !!

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kittiasher [2011-02-25 03:32:47 +0000 UTC]

I love the last line! I really hate when you finally give in to the act of actually crying, then your body has the audacity not to feel any better, so you start to wonder why you bothered in the first place! Very frustrating.

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-25 08:07:53 +0000 UTC]

I agree.. the last line is one of my favourite parts...
Actually stating that it is like a battle, makes it even better..

Yes I agree, if you give in to crying then it won't stop xD

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kittiasher In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-25 17:36:39 +0000 UTC]

It's awesome. Not the crying part, that just sucks, I meant the poem.

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-25 20:29:37 +0000 UTC]

lol thanks
Yeah I figured you wouldn't refer to the crying as awesome....

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kittiasher In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-26 03:52:21 +0000 UTC]

Cracking up! Well, maybe I would, if we had happened to, I don't know, stab someone and made them cry! That would be epic!!!

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-26 08:52:17 +0000 UTC]

lol...
That definitely would!!

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kittiasher In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-26 16:32:30 +0000 UTC]

Cracking up! Odd, that I can even make crying fun... well, in a strange, sick, twisted, sort of way.

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-26 16:35:22 +0000 UTC]

You are right...
It is something twisted to see someone crying in pain and associated with funny...

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kittiasher In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-26 17:50:44 +0000 UTC]

Well, in all fairness, I never claimed to be "right" about anything...

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-27 10:53:25 +0000 UTC]

true true... but who knows what is right and what is wrong?.....

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kittiasher In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-27 16:44:14 +0000 UTC]

True... true... Admittedly though, I'd rather hurt someone than cry.

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-27 17:46:09 +0000 UTC]

shhh.. don't let them know that...

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kittiasher In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-27 17:55:22 +0000 UTC]

Sorry....

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007Balel In reply to kittiasher [2011-02-27 20:00:34 +0000 UTC]

lol

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XxKittyNmcxX [2011-02-25 00:38:47 +0000 UTC]

Powerful...this kind of poetry not only allows us to remember our pain but soothes the soul.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

007Balel In reply to XxKittyNmcxX [2011-02-25 08:02:03 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the comment!!
Yes it also helps to let emotions out.

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XxKittyNmcxX In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-25 21:22:05 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome for this comment also xD

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007Balel In reply to XxKittyNmcxX [2011-02-25 21:27:23 +0000 UTC]

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anima12897 [2011-02-24 21:42:56 +0000 UTC]

I like the thirst stanza, crying sometimes makes me feel empty inside, as a - inner drought - LOL
I wish i could have seen your real format for the "drip ... drop ..." but all wells, what can you do?

VERY AWESOME!!!!

The first stanza captured me, sometimes my tears are hot, but also icicle cold. but it lured me in greatly!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

007Balel In reply to anima12897 [2011-02-24 21:48:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks I really appreciate!!
Yes I would have liked to put my original format... but I kinda like how it is now as well xD

Yes tears can be both hot and freezing cold...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

anima12897 In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-24 22:25:48 +0000 UTC]

I do, as well.
How does tears have temperature? is it your cheek that makes it hot or cold, or is it the outside that affects it?

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007Balel In reply to anima12897 [2011-02-25 08:12:14 +0000 UTC]

I think it is the cheek... it has to be.....

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anima12897 In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-25 19:44:42 +0000 UTC]

definitely

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silvertitan93 [2011-02-24 21:16:20 +0000 UTC]

Woah! thats awesome!
I still like the way its been formatted even if it didn't come out the way you want it.
Great job!

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007Balel In reply to silvertitan93 [2011-02-24 21:30:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks
I am glad you liked it!

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silvertitan93 In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-24 21:32:58 +0000 UTC]

All good!

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007Balel In reply to silvertitan93 [2011-02-24 21:37:24 +0000 UTC]

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silvertitan93 In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-25 05:37:16 +0000 UTC]

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Flower-Sis [2011-02-24 21:09:04 +0000 UTC]

I really like it

And maybe your 'drip drop' effect didn't come out as you planned, I think it looks nice.

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007Balel In reply to Flower-Sis [2011-02-24 21:30:26 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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DarlingAngel0565 [2011-02-24 20:38:09 +0000 UTC]

I did enjoy.
I can feel the emotion that was not said,
Finding the hidden meaning that isn't there.
Your words have gripped me in a vice
Holding on to my heart oh so tight...

This is great hun

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

007Balel In reply to DarlingAngel0565 [2011-02-24 20:46:44 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DarlingAngel0565 In reply to 007Balel [2011-02-24 21:31:21 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome..
I do apologize for getting all poetic on you...lol,
I just couldn't help myself

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

007Balel In reply to DarlingAngel0565 [2011-02-24 21:37:14 +0000 UTC]

Np

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