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| zorrospatch
zorrospatch
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[4794574]
[2007-05-21 23:27:12 +0000 UTC]
"David"
(New Zealand)
# Statistics
Favourites: 98; Deviations: 35; Watchers: 4
Watching: 17; Pageviews: 7494; Comments Made: 1000; Friends: 17
# About me
Current Residence: New Zealand# Comments
Comments: 18
well the thing is that I have seen the faults and flaws because we've broken up about.. three times. But we always find our way back to each other. Somehow. And Now I've just stopped fighting against it. The good thing is that I actually see those "bad" things now and I don't tolerate them but my friends are still living in the past. I know they are only worried but things change ^^
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true, things change, but people generally don't Im afraid, they can act the way you want them to, but that doesn't mean they have changed...and over time they will end up resenting you and blaming you for not allowing them to be themselves.
If he makes you laugh and you have fun together, all is well.
If however you find yourself thinking "should I say that around him?" then you're already on the losing spiral my friend.......
Don't want to bum you out, but maybe you need to sit down with your friends and ask them honestly what they think and actually LISTEN to what they say.
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Haha well that's a small problem too.. I don't have any real friends. Only people to busy fixing their own lives. And the rest are too shallow.
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Ok, well easy solution then.....two questions.
1) does he make you laugh?
2) can you say anything in front of him without worrying what he will think or say?
if the answer to either of those questions is 'no' then tread carefully, if the answer to BOTH those questions is 'no' take your high heels and get the hell out......life is way too short.
I'm in my mid 30's I'm divorced with two kids...believe me if I can give you two pieces of advice that I have learned in my life they are these....
1)life is too short to be unhappy...forget and disregard anyone who says otherwise, people who say you have to make sacrifices for this or that are trapped themselves and want you to be as well, do what makes you happy, if you are not happy, dont care who you hurt just get out. People who are hurt by you wanting to change are unhappy themselves and misery loves company.
2)Take a few naked picture of yourself and keep them somewhere safe....because when you get to 40 and you've had a couple of kids, you will wonder why you didnt take full advantage of your body when it was young...and you will look back at all those things you don't like about your body now, and you will laugh your ass off at how trivial they were, you are young and beautiful now, take a photo because in later years you are going to want to know just how your tummy looked before the kids, and just how perky your bust used to be, so in later years you can look back and know how beautiful you are...even if you don't know it now.
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wow, well I guess that's true. Although I am quite happy about the way I look. You can't love someone else until you love yourself. And the answer of the two questions is yes. He is my best friend and I tell him everything and he makes me laugh most of the time.
The only problem right now is my parents. I've just moved back home and they want me to stay here but I cannot stand stockholm. I have all my friends and boyfriend down in south of sweden. I don't have a job at the moment so basically I'm just sleeping through my days being so depressed because I don't really like the people in this city and it all makes me miserable. But I have a plan, I'll give it another two-three weeks and if I haven't go a job by then I'll move.
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Excellent!
I was once out of work for 9 months and it really does give you the blues, I found some type of routine works wonders to keep spirits up, even if it is starting everyday with a jog....exercise always makes me feel better...eating correctly helps me too. Oh and if I looked like you I'd be pretty happy with the way I looked too.
So what type of work do you do? A lot of people I know are out of work due to the recession, down here we are just starting to draw out of it and people are hiring again...is it due to being out of work that you moved back home? - Shit once I moved out of home I could never imagine going back...you are stronger than I am...living with my parents again would've driven me insane.
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I moved out three years ago to go to a boarding school. Well, it's not so much living at home as the whole city that I hate. I am miserable here. I'm a bartender but it's quite hard to get a job as it here.
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Why keep yourself limited to home or where your friends are?
London's good for bartending jobs, but then you have to contend with the London prices for everything.
Just alcohol bar or are you a barrista as well? - you should think further afield, you and your man should take a jaunt over to USA, there is a lot of bar work there. France has a lot of Cafe work, and Australia and NZ have tons of both Bar and cafe work......
I've never been to Stockholm, but I get the feeling it has a heavy and sullen energy to it, quite industrial and mechanical feeling to it........ France, Aussy and NZ are really fresh, lively and light feeling, either one may do you some good. It'd give you a chance to give your relationship together a fresh environment too.
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Well my big BIG problem is... the ex. She's like this gigantic nail in my eye. She tries to "win" him back and it really buggs me and there is a rather nasty history behind there that ended in a break-up between us two. And she keeps coming back and everytime I think of her in any way or sees one o her friends or whatever my stomach turns inside out, it feels like a big punch in the stomach. I don't know what to do but everytime I see something about her I just feel like calling up my boyfriend and breaking up with him. How can she, that worthless (and not so pretty) piece of shit make me feel like that?
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She isn't MAKING you feel like that, you are CHOOSING to feel like that.
Now, I see two potential problems here.....firstly lets cover off the most important one...what does your BF think of his ex?...and how EX is she? - like two months...two years..etc.
Is he still friends with her?
Does he know you have this reaction to her?...does he care?
The second thing is that relationships are built on trust..if you cant trust your partner you may as well chuck it in right there and then, you can be jealous of the ex, for her trying to get back together with your BF, or break the two of you up, or tarnish your name...all that is easy to deal with, what isn't easy to deal with is if you cant trust your BF around her.....that should be your first question to yourself - "if they were alone would my BF respect me enough not to do anything with her?" - if you feel he does respect you enough, then it really doesnt matter what she tries, your man loves you and therefore she has no power over him, or you.
If your man isnt strong enough, or doesnt respect you enough to stay loyal to you, then you dont have a relationship to begin with, its a joke and there is no point wasting any more time or energy there.
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well so they tell me... No I don't trust him. But I'm staying. For now.
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Hey no judgement on my part, I stayed in a marriage for 7 years where my wife was cheating on me...but I did it for the kids....so we all have our reasons....you're just a little too young and beautiful to waste time on someone like that. I'd hate for you to look back in 10 years and wonder why you didnt get out sooner...you cant get that time back sweetheart.
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wow, seven years? I guess but right now we have like an open relationship so I'm kind of half single. It works for me because then I can have fun but I know that I still have him.
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Wicked Good....I got one of those at the monment too, but to be honest I don't know if Im cut out for it...it sounds good in theory, no strings attached, no commitment, just txt's me when ever she want to go see a movie, have sex or hang out, thats all good...and I can do what ever I want and have sex with who ever I want, and so can she.......trouble is I don't really want to have sex with anyone else except her, and thinking of her having sex with other guys drives me insane.....so call me old fashioned but I'm kinda a big fan of being in love with one person so much that I just dont want anyone else.....maybe that kind of romance doesn't exist anymore I don't know...I don't know anyone who has that kind of relationship so maybe it died out with our grandparents generation....shame........
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I know. I guess I'm a fan of that too but unfortunately love has always been holding hands with tragedy and pain for me. I am starting to believe that I'm incapable of having a calm, healthy, harmonic relationship. But I'm not even sure I would be happy in a realtionship like that...
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there is the crux of the matter right there, you always attract to you what you are inside, so in order to have one of those relationships you need to have it inside with yourself and your environment........too many people I know are addicted to DRAMA, they are totally into their life being full of excitement and intrigue....I must admit I used to enjoy it when I was younger too, Im just too old for that shit now, but I have to really change what I am and what I find important before I can get into a relationship that I now want, its like the momentum has built up over so many years, I have to stop the ball rolling down hill and bringing all these dramatic people into my life....its slowing though, give it another 100 years or so I should be sweet....lmao
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Haha well there you have me. I'm a drama queen. I need it to be a bit rough at times so I have something to fight for. And let's be honest, the sea is more attractive than a pond. Sure, also more dangerous but still... I guess I'll get tired of it sometime but right now it feels quite good to be honest. And as you said, it's an addiction. If things go to well I always manage to make them a bit less well.
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Hahahaha - at least you know where you are at...and you are still young, I was exactly the same till I was like 30....then I just got way too over it.....if Ya happy and it makes you feel alive go for it hun.
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