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greyxm
[16912966]
[2011-03-15 01:33:42 +0000 UTC]
(Unknown)
# Statistics
Favourites: 5948; Deviations: 86; Watchers: 5599
Watching: 658; Pageviews: 246540; Comments Made: 35086; Friends: 658
# Comments
Comments: 10806
bruh seriously just shut the fuck up
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I’m pissed off so I’m posting this on Reddit for no reason. I want to crush the fucking skulls of every baby character in Mario Kart Wii. You’re allowed to laugh- it’s fine. For some ungodly reason, baby Mario, baby Peach, baby Luigi, and baby Daisy are fucking GODS compared to characters that you’d think would be good! A strategic player looking at MKW for the first time would think “Hmm, well, Waluigi is a heavy class, but has the lowest weight for heavy classes, so I’d pair him with the flame runner for great speed and manageable weight.” But no, the game says “Fuck you, Waluigi has zero stat bonuses and is overall terrible compared to other characters.” If the strategic player hadn’t already compressed his copy of MKW into the size of a peanut, they would then ask, “Ok, what characters are ranked S tier?” And MKW would respond, “Well, Funky Kong with Flame Runner and Baby Daisy with Bullet Bike are ranked S tier.” By now, the player had already destroyed his copy and began a conquest to eliminate every remaining copy until none remained. Ok, of all characters, why monkey man the second and a fucking infant are ranked S TIER in a FUCKING RACING GAME? Good question. In fact, to quote me, a good question is one without an answer. So there you go. Oh, and you had the WHOLE MARIO ROSTER to choose from, and you added baby characters? W H Y. Who, no, seriously, WHO THE FUCK ASKED FOR INFANT RACERS??? NO ONE. Oh, and let’s make it worse. Let’s make newcomers and replayers suffer the wrath of these asshole’s AIs with ungodly luck and the worst sound clips my ears had ever heard. Ok- scenario. You’re on Wario’s Goldmine, trying your hardest to get first for that sweet ⭐️⭐️⭐️ score. Or maybe even just one star so you can unlock the badass Dry Bowser. Right? So you’re nearing the finish, when out of nowhere, Baby Mario drops on in with triple red shells, a bullet bill, or some other bullshit, knocking you out of the way and taking first place. I know it’s taboo and frowned upon to hate babies, but I don’t give a shit! Fuck these God tier motherfuckers!
That’s my rant. I gotta take a shit.
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You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let's talk about features.
Bluetooth: Nope
Sunroof: Nope
Fancy wheels: Nope
Rear view camera: Nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: Yes
Consent to sex: Yes
Rent a car: It IS a car
This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
Interesting facts:
This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey.
In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"
You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: Spaghetti
Favorite TV show: Alf
Favorite Band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
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H I love your art?? Can I be pinged if you ever open comms? If that's not a problem!
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life has been busy and constantly changing- how about you???
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Its been alright for me too Greg! Same shit different day tbh life changed a lot for me too! I missed you a lot and I always hoped I’d see you again!!
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Holy shit dude?? I remember watching you like years ago I can't belive I forgot about your account
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welcome back then, ive been dead for awhile so no worries! thank you for the comment
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you fuck i love you thank you for the core butthole
♥
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the perfect amount to purchase a lawyer and sue deviantart
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thank you, i can finally get the bastards ...
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YOURE SO FUCKINGF AMAZING I ADORE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Don't know what the heck I did to deserve a watch from you, but HECK.
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BRO LIKE I HAVE THIS VAGUE MEMORY OF MEETING YOU AT A CONVENTION AND BUYING I THINK SOME FNAF CHARMS FROM YOU WHEN I WAS LIKE 14— PLUS UR ART IS GOOD AND I SWEAR I REMEMBER SOMETHING OF YOUR NAME
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Jdjshsbsjsjshsbshxhshbs--haha, I never had a booth of my own, and I've only been to cons in Wyoming and Colorado, and I really hope no one is selling anything under my name anywhere.:'D
But I REALLY FRIGGIN APPRECIATE THE WATCH. Your style is so cool and your designs are really unique. Like, your gallery completely stands out from others!
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HOLY SHIT im so sorry my memory is the same as a grain of sand right now but either way i love your art and wanna comm you when i can maybe?
and thank you sm again i really appreciate it 💕
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Haha, no you're good! I had a TON of people back home actually insist I was someone else I guess they all collectively knew and other weird run ins with people thinking I was someone with the same name so just honest mistakes really don't phase me! XD
Hshshdjdh--I would be HONORED??? I was hoping to commission you sometime, too! And of course!
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your art is good af im boutta comm u when youre open again
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your art is still so gucci homie im cryin,, pray hands emoji,,
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BRUHHHhn mbjn i missed seein ur stuff so much i literally forgot ur username im so glad u followed me now my eyeballs can be bleached w/ that good shit again
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