KaidokJ [2018-10-14 02:28:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 10 - Flowing a.k.a Time stops for no man

I’ve never been much of a nature lover, well, there was this one time, at band camp, but never again. However, I do occasionally like to match wits with Mother Nature in a friendly game of Will This Kill Me, or camping as some people like to call it. But you’ve got to do it right. None of this glamping business, with the fancy tents and modern technologies, like fire or clothing. Camping is about survival and awakening your primal instincts. You just can’t do that if you succumb to the weaknesses of underwear or flashlights. It’s all about respecting nature. How can you expect a three week old, dead, rabid, zombie koala bear to maul and eat your intestines if it has to rip its way through your jeans as well as your abdomen? I know. It’s completely unrealistic. Sure, their claws are sharp and the zombie virus makes them abnormally strong, but jeans are a tough material to tear and their cute little hands are so tiny. Can you really live with yourself knowing that because you couldn’t bare it in the wild, an insatiably ravenous, unholy marsupial might starve? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that on my conscience, which is why I always expose all my vulnerabilities to the infinite dangers of the great outdoors. Just to keep things sporting.

-OverlyExposedOutdoorsman    

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KaidokJ [2018-10-14 02:02:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ . I have no license, I’m considered legally blind and I’m easily distrac… Wait, what was I talking about…

But not to fear. There’s a good chance we’ll never make our destination, but since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I just shattered the illusion by crashing through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch.

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival.  

On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly (fingers crossed), free funny stories in almost all fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles . (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  

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KaidokJ [2018-10-12 05:11:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 9 - Precious a.k.a Send Help!

I knew a guy named Precious, big fella, very intimidating. Hovering almost 4 ½ feet off the ground he towered over almost every glass on the kitchen table. When he wasn’t floating about the room, he’d randomly select a seemingly innocent bystander and then berate them ferociously about the technological prowess of the Patagonian anteater. He was adamant were the only viable solution for the current crisis in international manufacturing and to this day I cannot find fault in his argument. I later learned that his method for selecting his verbal victims wasn’t as random as I assumed. It was in fact the result of a complex and logically flawless seafood based algorithm. This algorithm was so accurate it was even able to predict the results of the highly controversial 2016 election in which, as everyone knows, President Grmbele of the Mole people’s Anti-Social Anti-ant Pro-Party Union, won by a sinkhole.

#MathematicallyMindBlown  

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MrBanksArt [2018-10-05 21:39:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much for the faves

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