Nichrysalis In reply to Atomograd [2015-08-03 22:41:30 +0000 UTC]

Mine too. Thought about him today. He had such a specific edginess to him that whenever I think of something that was his type of humor or way of speaking, I think of him. Today, I thought of something as a smartass comment but never said it at work, and I realized I still miss Jake a lot.

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Atomograd In reply to Nichrysalis [2015-08-04 03:16:00 +0000 UTC]

i find myself doing the same often. i was never close with jake, either - i very rarely spoke with him, even while avidly reading his pieces and journals.
i regret not becoming a good friend to him while i had the chance. occasionally just the way certain things are written or said will jar a memory of something he wrote or something he may find amusing.

i think a lot of us in the writing community really miss jake. not everyone was social with him, but he had a lot of watchers who cared. if there's any sort of afterlife or reincarnation or what have you, i hope it treats jake well - he deserves it.

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Nichrysalis In reply to Atomograd [2015-08-06 22:50:16 +0000 UTC]

I hope if there is, it does too. I would have considered myself close to Jake. But we had a falling out and four months later, he wasn't here anymore. In fact, I'm pretty sure one of the poems posted on dA posthumously has a part directed at me.

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JakesException In reply to your-methamphetamine [2013-10-11 15:10:11 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome, I suppose.

For someone around my age, I'm envious of your ability... ¬_¬"

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your-methamphetamine In reply to JakesException [2013-10-11 15:11:29 +0000 UTC]

oh god, no.

have a cookie:

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JakesException In reply to your-methamphetamine [2013-10-11 16:49:01 +0000 UTC]

I don't like biscuits... Not a lot of them...

Saw your version of Maddie's poem - it was pretty decent.

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your-methamphetamine In reply to JakesException [2013-10-13 07:36:05 +0000 UTC]

which ones do you like?
thank you!

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JakesException In reply to intricately-ordinary [2013-09-24 09:33:32 +0000 UTC]

Thank you - it's a shame so few others like it...

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JakesException In reply to NSolanki [2013-09-17 07:29:53 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome.

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JakesException In reply to Polaris-Polus [2013-08-20 15:50:38 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

I read your stuff when I was much younger, and I still do now. I only just remembered your account name, though - hence the late +watch.

Your prose really helped me get to grips with what I was and what I liked growing up. So, thanks.

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Polaris-Polus In reply to JakesException [2013-08-20 15:59:41 +0000 UTC]

Well, I'm glad you're back. I'm also glad you feel more comfortable with yourself. Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one with certain tastes or desires can make it a lot easier to handle this screwed up world.

-M

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JakesException In reply to Polaris-Polus [2013-08-20 17:16:12 +0000 UTC]

You're probably doing better than me, mind. You've got a partner! I hope you two are happy together.

Do they know about your writing and support you with it, or...?

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Polaris-Polus In reply to JakesException [2013-09-03 17:10:22 +0000 UTC]

Never give up on finding true love. If someone as fucked up as I am can find someone to love me, anyone can. You have to keep your heart and your mind open and be willing to take chances.

My Partner knows I write, and I've read him many of my stories, but he doesn't really like them much. He hates the fact that I'm here on DA sharing those stories and being so open with people. He thinks I'm making a mistake and that I'll get hurt, but I'm going on 6 years here on DA and I've 'met' so many wonderful people who are totally accepting of me.

-M

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JakesException In reply to Polaris-Polus [2013-09-03 17:16:31 +0000 UTC]

You say you're fucked up; in which respect? Do you mean like some kind of mental issue, or is it much deeper than that?

To be honest, I'm not super-fixated / desperate to find anyone right now; I just get lonely sometimes...

That's good. <3

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Polaris-Polus In reply to JakesException [2013-09-10 17:52:11 +0000 UTC]

I am fucked up in that I have Aperger syndrome, something that has made my life very difficult. I can communicate easily with written words, but actual social interaction with people is extremely hard for me. It's tough to find a lover when you can't even talk right and you come across as a spasmodic freak. I'm also fucked up in that I was raised in an ultra-strict Christian fundamentalist environment. There is no hell like being gay in an evangelical Baptist household and having to hide it. I've got a lot of emotional issues from the abuse I suffered as a kid.

I understand what it is to be lonely, believe me, I do. The thing is that you can't let it drive you into a state of such desperation that you lose your sense of inner balance. Keeping your hopes and faith alive are the most difficult things. You have to believe that you will find someone. Some people find their soul mate quickly, others have to wait a bit longer. Some people have more than one soul mate and others stick to just one. The point is to never give up. Keep your mind and your heart open. You may find love in an unexpected place with someone you'd least predict. If my partner hadn't taken a chance and befriended an awkward, twitchy, pimply gork, we would have missed out on a quarter of a century of love and happiness.

-M

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JakesException In reply to Polaris-Polus [2013-09-10 18:32:45 +0000 UTC]

Sorry to hear about all of that; Aspergers is definitely a tough one to work with.

It's almost ironic in a way that it's tough to speak fluently for you, and yet your writing comes across as really smooth.

I mean, I swear a lot - but that's because I'm just a little too loose-mouthed when it comes to expletives!

And we're all pimply somewhere.

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Polaris-Polus In reply to JakesException [2013-09-10 19:46:32 +0000 UTC]

Aspergers can be hard for NT (neurotypical) people to understand. Basically, for me, it is like I am trapped in the body of an alien creature. I can make the body work, but it's clear to the other aliens that something isn't right about me. I have trouble interpreting body language, facial expressions, and subtle inflections in speech, but the biggest thing that bothers people when they interact with me is that I don't like to look at them. Add a big double dose of prosopagnosia (the inability to recognize faces) and hyperesthesia (oversensitivity to stimulation, particularly sound) and you can see why I prefer to keep myself as isolated as I can. It's only through written words that I can really express myself. One of the nicer benefits of my particular condition is an extremely keen grasp of written words and a huge vocabulary.

Nothing wrong with swearing! I might write like a college professor, but I talk like the love-child of a long-haul trucker and a sailor on a tramp steamer! Sometimes I think 'fuck' is the single greatest word ever invented.

I've found that the worst people are those who have beautiful faces, but pimples on their personalities.

-M

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JakesException In reply to Petrichor-Paradise [2013-08-03 17:53:56 +0000 UTC]

Aww, shucks. My stuff isn't that good. I'm happy with it, but I don't expect anyone else to like my stuff - so whatever.

There's no need to think I'm any better than you - or that I'm an idol or something; we're both on the same level, really. I'm nowhere near perfect.

As for the feedback, I usually give as much as I receive per person. I still think you're someone to watch.

If you ever get the time, I'd love to find out a bit about you and your past if you want to talk about it - if not, never mind.

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Petrichor-Paradise In reply to JakesException [2013-08-03 18:31:40 +0000 UTC]

Really your work is very good. It's not exactly the be all end all of poetry but it is fantastic. 

And I would like that. Moreover, I'd like to know more about you. Poetry makes me wonder about the poet, you know?

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JakesException In reply to Petrichor-Paradise [2013-08-03 18:47:10 +0000 UTC]

I think my stuff fluctuates. At the minute, I'm on hiatus because I'm essentially out of ideas. I have some pieces stockpiled, but I probably won't be uploading them for a while / until I'm happy with them.

Well, maybe it'd be best to communicate via Note rather than out in the open - no?

Absolutely. That's how you accomplish a deeper understanding of the art, by learning about the poet's experiences.

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Petrichor-Paradise In reply to JakesException [2013-08-03 18:52:57 +0000 UTC]

Yeah I actually just came out of hiatus. I had about two months of absolute writer's block it was bleggh.

Yes, note me

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JakesException In reply to Petrichor-Paradise [2013-08-03 19:02:44 +0000 UTC]

I'm more just "out of breath", so to speak. All the shit I've gone through feels kind of spent. It's like I'm running on empty, and there's no point in writing when nothing is coming out.

Will do.

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JakesException In reply to intricately-ordinary [2013-07-15 04:57:42 +0000 UTC]

Why the sudden love?

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intricately-ordinary In reply to JakesException [2013-07-15 05:01:54 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the support

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JakesException In reply to intricately-ordinary [2013-07-15 07:04:32 +0000 UTC]

Oh, you're totally welcome!

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JakesException In reply to 86-kid [2013-06-22 17:13:22 +0000 UTC]

Sure - it's not like I have that many anyway... ¬_¬"

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JakesException In reply to ElinsPhotography [2013-05-19 19:34:44 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome - great shot. Made me jealous.

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