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| Elsey
Elsey
[7397187]
[2008-05-22 01:49:04 +0000 UTC]
"bye"
(Unknown)
# Statistics
Favourites: 161; Deviations: 3; Watchers: 19
Watching: 30; Pageviews: 13023; Comments Made: 1034; Friends: 30
# Comments
Comments: 397
I know this comment is more than a few months old by now, but I don't actually expect her to come back, never-the-less, stick around.
And, as one of Kelsey's previous "best friends," I would personally advise that you stay away from her.
The abusive friendship, it isn't worth it.
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No seriously, thanks for responding! oO
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kelsey... my boyfriend's name is jesse.........................
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SDFDSFJSDFJSDFJSDJFJDSGJSDKLHJLSKDJFKLSDGJKLSDJFLKSDJGLKSDJF
AHHAHHA MY LIFE= COMPLETE
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WHAT THE
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!!!!
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we're here fo one thang and one thang only
killin gnatsies
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ill capture you and throw you in with all the other jews where your death will be met by flames
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good, i will be able to light me a cigarette while i'm in there
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damn you little nigra.. get on, we have much to catch up on
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let me sum it up with my aunt got chased by a fat lady in a white robe with a towel on her head
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im going to tell you a fabulous true story.
so this morning i decided to wear this dress i bought at Ross's. it's purdy, i like it. so today this hot blonde-haired guy in his twenties came into the shop to deliver... a picture i think.
anyway my boss wasn't here so i had to sign this thing so there was proof he came. while i was standing there signing this thing he was really quiet... and i was wondering why so i looked up at him....... and he was staring at my chest. I WAS SO AMUSED ON THE INSIDE so i was joking with him a little.
he asked me for my name and i gave it to him. i did not find out his name but i'm going to ask if my boss knows him.
moral of the story: delivery guys are hot. and entranced by boobs
ok brb working again
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well you know guys like girls with boobs and asses. Not jews. DUH!!
can i come work with you maybe you me and hottie can have a threesome
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yes threesome with a delivery boy
it sounds grand
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[link]
kelsey, my life is over
i hope you have good words to say at my funeral
brb suicide
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I have this to say:
faggot thanks for killing yourself and leaving me alone to be the only fatass around the internet circle of people we talk to.
brb feeding myself to porcupines
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what internet circle, you got the good artists talking to you and i got like... idk what talking to me
are.. are porcupines carnivores...?
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You've got kiss asses man. bs no one talks to you
Yes..... Yes they are
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that's not the same
shit, my mind has been blown... why didn't that porcupine just eat Chance's face in Homeward Bound?
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yeah let's fight a virus with shit over our mouth, that will destroy the virus somehow
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I know right look at that couple. They are fighting that swine flu real good
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when i draw blondi with hitler on my exam paper i will make her look like your fursona
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In the halls of the Reichschancellory a German soldier was running to an office. when he reached the door he dropkicked it open. βMine Furor! The Americans are inside Berlin!β Adolph Hitler looked up from his volksdesk rapidly. βMein gott in Himmel! I must escape!β Quickly he ran to his secret underground laboratory. Scientists were running around and conducting scientific experiments. βActive the time machine!β shouted Hitler. Hitler could hear Americans shouting in the tunnel behind him, murdering innocent German scientists and soldiers to satiate their blood lust. βBut mine Furor, the temporal coordinates are not set! You could be sent ANYWHERE!β βIt is irrelevant, fool! I must survive so that National Socialism can continue!β The thoroughly chastised scientist activated the time machine, and Hitler was thrown through time β to 29AD!
When Hitler stepped through the portal he saw a beautiful man with blue eyes and a long beard. βGreetings, my son,β he said. Hitler looked around. βWhere am I?β βIn Israel, my son. Come, have lunch with me. My name is Jesus Christ.β Hitler was instantly amazed. He had been a devout Christian all his life and he was honored to eat dinner with Jesus. During lunch Hitler explained the tenets of National Socialism to the Messiah. To his delight, Jesus loved it! Within an hour Jesus was won over to National Socialism. Hitler felt joy in his heart. National Socialism would live again!
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it is quite possibly my favorite fanfic ever
except my immortal
that's the best one
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While they were talking Hitler found himself checking out Jesus' tight bod. If he wasn't Furor of Germany... But he wasn't Furor anymore,was he? That night when Hitler and Jesus were in bed together Hitler said βJesus, what do you think of... love between men?β βWhat do you mean, Hitler?β Jesus asked. Hitler took a deep breath. He would have to be bold. βThis is what I mean.β He leaned over and started Frenching with the Lord. At the same time he reached down and started tugging on his already turgid member (Christ slept in the buff).
Jesus broke off the kiss. βHitler I β I don't know if I can do this. It feels so good, so right, but I'm afraid. I've never been with another man before.β βI've never been with a man, either, Jesus. I'm scared, just like you are, but we can't let our fears rule us! I love you, Jesus. Do you love me?β Hitler's eyes had tears in them. Jesus smiled. βYes, Hitler. I love you.β They embraced. Again, they kissed passionately. Hitler continued to jerk Christ off. When he began to tense up Hitler lowered his head to Christ's stiff member and caught Christ's sticky seed in his mouth. There was an incredible amount of it and it splashed everywhere. When Hitler rose up again Jesus locked lips with him. He could taste his own salty semen in Hitler's mouth, and he didn't care. Jesus was happy for the first time in his life.
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ahh i miss you too baby daddy
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ok i hate you we are bffe for no reason and i don't think of you when i'm eating delicious, fattening sonic blasts
no jk i ain't a lyin' cracka
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did you shit a jew
would you like me to shove it in a paper bag and set it on fire on someone's porch
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Kaitlynne says:
*you remind me of a gsd a lot
*and since you're into germany it all fits
Kelsey says:
*OH PLEASE DO EXPLAIN
Kaitlynne says:
*you're very smart, brave, and loyal.. plus you make a good fran and that's what a german shepherd always is
Kelsey says:
*aww oh my god kai i swar you make me feel special i think both of us fit a GSD description if thats what your opinion on it is
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a friend would try to hire you a lawyer to get you out of a life sentence for gassing some jews.
a best friend would be sitting with you in prison saying "damn, if by some miracle we get out of here, we're gonna burn those bastards alive next time."
oh wait it doesn't go like that...
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i had a dream last night that we went to the same school and there was this kid going to blow it up because there was some bitch he wanted to kill. somehow i knew it and i was like "uh kelsey we gotta get out of here....!" and you asked why and i made some stupid excuse about going to the bathroom. on our way down the stairs we ran into the shooter kid and he was looking for someone and he asked us "do you get probation for getting in a car accident" and we didn't know. so anyway we made it to like the lobby and people were standing all around and there was this bomb in the middle of the group, the end of the string fizzing like a firecracker and i was like "FUCK SOMEONE STEP ON IT, SOMEONE STEP ON ITTTTT" and no one did and the bomb went off and it killed everyone including you. somehow the only thing that survived were me and what i imagine to be your purse or something and i stumbled out of the school crying cause i'd have to call your parents and tell them you died and stuff. then at the memorial service obama came to speak and someone shot him during his speech and he died
then i woke up
ISNT THAT A SPECTACULAR STORY
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