Alice904v2 In reply to coutoo [2020-01-08 08:43:02 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to tommerch [2019-11-03 08:19:47 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

I enjoyed the premise and topic of the story. When Rachel got introduced, all I could really picture was Batman & Robin - perhaps because of the way she was introduced? I found a lot of the fighting scenes descriptive to the point of squeaming. Was that intentional?
I also feel that Heini's orgasm read more like a monkey than someone being pleasured. I adore the ending.

Overall, it's very well written with only a couple minor mistakes here and there - not enough to detract from the reading experience - and I enjoyed it! 💜

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tommerch In reply to Alice904v2 [2019-11-03 15:17:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the feedback! Outside of the monkey-hoots, what were the mistakes? I don't mind constructive criticism in order to be better!

Thos. Merchant

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Alice904v2 In reply to tommerch [2019-11-04 07:37:32 +0000 UTC]

Well the first thing, which isn't a mistake persay, was the conversation as the room was about to blow up. I personally found myself having to read it thrice to follow along with who was talking - perhaps that was intentional - the introduction of the named Mr. Fixit seems a bit too late, and still I don't know what DM is.
Everything else gramatically is spot on.

Also my apologies about the spelling mistakes. It appears I was thinking of a different story!!

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Alice904v2 In reply to bondagelover2 [2019-10-14 16:37:41 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^.^

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Alice904v2 In reply to RopeBunnyDani [2019-10-08 23:39:08 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome cutie ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to NashidaKyouko [2019-09-01 05:15:38 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to miss-chinadoll [2019-07-22 21:41:50 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Enhjorning [2019-07-11 22:00:30 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to DaBotz [2019-07-09 09:11:21 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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DaBotz In reply to Alice904v2 [2019-07-12 08:39:00 +0000 UTC]

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Alice904v2 In reply to DaBotz [2019-07-13 10:25:23 +0000 UTC]

^.^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Niray-Chan [2019-06-23 00:42:47 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Caffeinated-Creator [2019-06-20 01:03:45 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to The-CJ-Girl [2019-04-27 04:24:15 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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The-CJ-Girl In reply to Alice904v2 [2019-04-27 12:07:53 +0000 UTC]

I’ll be sure to write some stories-
Also, my discord is Julia and Herself#9262 If you’d like to talk about the dirtier side of them

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Alice904v2 In reply to The-CJ-Girl [2019-04-29 06:47:11 +0000 UTC]

Oh thank you!

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The-CJ-Girl In reply to Alice904v2 [2019-04-29 12:14:27 +0000 UTC]

You’re welcome!

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Alice904v2 In reply to The-CJ-Girl [2019-04-29 13:31:21 +0000 UTC]

^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to rumataestorian [2019-03-03 10:55:35 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to itiehoesup [2019-02-07 20:49:21 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Rosierosa [2019-01-27 21:41:50 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Swellragg99 [2019-01-14 21:00:23 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to W65 [2018-12-16 20:26:25 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Master-Geass [2018-11-30 12:04:09 +0000 UTC]

You're Welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Loveur1 [2018-11-22 18:34:07 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to coutoo [2018-11-17 14:49:25 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to Ihniwuntu [2018-11-10 22:21:00 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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Alice904v2 In reply to zeranno [2018-10-31 14:50:50 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome ^-^

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