ariya-sacca [2021-04-26 23:32:10 +0000 UTC]

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kittycrumb [2019-08-29 08:02:07 +0000 UTC]

"I am the abused.
They are the abuser.
You are the witness.
I am the victim."

Love that. I can relate.

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Reeses--Peices [2019-03-05 00:49:18 +0000 UTC]

We are together  

But really this is amazing!

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LOLWhoopie [2015-06-30 06:55:30 +0000 UTC]

this is beautiful.

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Leopold002 [2014-11-16 16:15:23 +0000 UTC]

I have never seem so many ways to say I am not here. I have never encountered so many ways to express I am not here. Needless to say, I love it!

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Uncleanpurity [2014-01-11 01:29:04 +0000 UTC]

"I am the Demon, I am the Angel"  

Beautiful words. To me, Angels and Demons are the same.

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Skittles-the-Pony [2013-12-31 23:02:48 +0000 UTC]

I am crying

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DanksForTheMemeries [2013-08-26 18:21:52 +0000 UTC]

Wow this is really good...

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Kiara-Mizu [2012-10-13 18:11:18 +0000 UTC]

i like this poem, its speaks in volumes. i know what its like to be everything you mentioned, its hard to live with.
but your poem is from the heart and its beautiful. i too am a writer and the way you write this is typical but it works really good with the message of the poem. i truly hope you continue to write.

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ravinniaofcreed [2012-10-07 17:50:33 +0000 UTC]

This is my life in poem form. I am glad others understand what it's like to be tortured night and day by everyone. Thank you for posting this. I hope one day the torturing will end and there will be peace... That dream will probably die with me though. *Sigh*

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crevi [2012-09-28 00:50:23 +0000 UTC]

Sometimes people just don't get that everything does not need to be perfect, and that raw and emotional has it's own value -.- personally I liked it and felt that the end line especially hit me in the right kind of way ^^ Either way you've given whoever reads it something to think about, and they get something out of it whether they like it or not
~cheers ~

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SukiThePyro [2012-09-20 22:19:25 +0000 UTC]

I am the nothing.
I am the silence.
I am the unseen.
I am not here.

that is how I feel! Meh! If this is how you feel... whoa...
It was very strong. I like it.

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SkyeSteiner [2012-09-20 15:48:59 +0000 UTC]

Pitched up really nicely and it stings me in a good way

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XxBefore-I-SleepxX [2012-09-18 23:49:26 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful and haunting. And I can completely understand that you need to vent.

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taenanataki [2012-09-18 23:22:55 +0000 UTC]

wow~

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Xander-RKoS [2012-09-18 18:36:12 +0000 UTC]

Strictly from a literary standpoint, I love the rawness of this but it does get repetitive and I think the use of the seven deadly sins breaks from the themes and seems a bit too out of place.

I think this piece would greatly benefit from paying a bit more attention to flow as well as form. I get that maybe not every stanza is suppose to fit together nicely, and the dissonance of some parts work really well, but sometimes random and chaotic, not matter how it works thematically, comes off as annoying to read and follow. It can be abstract, but if this poem told like a story, with a beginning, middle, and end, I think the impact would be a lot better.

This is also true for the switching between first person to second and third person. When you have the "We" groupings, it comes out of nowhere and now I have no idea what is going on. I do like how you use the "they" and "you" parts to give the reader some kind of characters to follow and I think so much more can be done with that.

Overall, like I said, I can feel how emotional this is but some of the impact is lost because the form is too loose.

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gothfoxx [2012-09-18 06:33:54 +0000 UTC]

how lovely,
how heart-speaking,
beautiful

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Elitemonkeys [2012-09-18 06:05:07 +0000 UTC]

I find it funny how the people bashing on this dont even stop to think about how ridiculous and a**holeish they sound when they try to use their logic on other people. Granted this could use some work but like you said, its a rant it doesnt have to be professional or the best poem ever its just an extension of how you feel, whether it ends up on the front page isnt up to you. Yes there isnt alot of emotion though there is something there, a feeling i cant quite put my finger on which oddly enough draws me to the poem, well in any case i hope your life straightens out the way you want, from what i read trolling a**holes is the last thing you need..lol last thing anyone needs really. (And to clearify to any who may see this no it is not a pity comment just cause i said i hope your life gets better, its how i genuinely feel, if you have a problem with that then take it up with me cause i have no problem faceing someone who hides behind a computer screen whos only joy in life is unecessarily harassing others and no im not a "White knight" either. Im just someone who cant stand disrespect.) If you read all this then i thank you for takeing the time.

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Zellyn-Skyy [2012-09-18 04:42:47 +0000 UTC]

I get that it is meant to be cathartic, but the list... sigh, it feels like a bad 30 seconds to mars song. Sometimes you need to unleash, but it is so formulaic that it doesn't seem to capture that visceral emotional casting of mental weight. I don't know you, maybe you think in a formula, maybe this is just your natural state of wordplay, but it just feels like a dribbled out list.

In any case, I hope it had the desired effect and freed a bit of movement space in your head. Sometimes it just gets to cluttered to even function.

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jetsetjaguar [2012-09-18 00:38:41 +0000 UTC]

Kind of reminds me of my poem

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MariekeSmit [2012-09-17 18:34:59 +0000 UTC]

you're in my ultimate favs list
It's so raw that it is amazing

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AuLaRieNEkO [2012-09-17 13:10:28 +0000 UTC]

Wow it's so very raw... I like the brutal honesty in this. I can even feel related to it in some point.

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Darkone10 [2012-09-16 23:46:29 +0000 UTC]

Alternatively.

I am your judge.
I am your jury.
I am your executioner.
I AM THE LAW!!!

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Darkone10 [2012-09-16 23:40:47 +0000 UTC]

I am vengeance.
I am the night.
I am Batman!

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BloodyBBQ [2012-09-16 21:34:38 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry, but this isn't really all that good.
I can see how people can relate to it, since people love to see themselves as the victim, but speaking from the art point of view it isn't very rich. Repeating one sentence over and over again with different adjectives makes it sound more like a badly written speech, not poetry. But then again, thats taste, i guess.
Furthermore I despise Individualism, especially when its this first-world-problem kind of whining.

*Bitch mode off*
congrats to the frontpage

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