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Description
Bolt from the Blue  (part 1)

It wasn't impossible.  It was just that I wasn't going to do it.  I imagined the uncomfortable position, the feel of the latex, and worst of all, the mess.  No, my mind just revolted against it.  Yes I knew how to do it but that made no difference at all.   I was never going to change a tyre and that was that.  Even wearing the latex gloves I carried in the boot, there would be a yukky mess, so changing the wheel myself was definately out of the question. Just my luck to get a puncture half way up a mountain.

I HAD tried to call the AA of course, but up there in the hills there was no signal.  'Bloody typical' I fumed '..... fucking mobile phone!'  I would have chucked it over the side of the cliff but I wasn't that enraged .... yet.  'Ok then' I thought, 'I'll just have to wait for the proverbial Good Samaritan to drive by and offer to help'   Not that that was very likely.  The whole point of coming up here was precisely because it WAS isolated and lonely, as I had needed time alone to sort some things out in my mind.  'Oh well, I'll just have to wait and hope' I thought.

2 hours later my hope was fading fast, and I was almost out of the mineral water I obsessively carried everywhere with me.  Now I was getting a bit panicy - yes I'll admit it.  The thought of being without water was worse than the fact that I might be stuck here for hours yet. I was just wondering if it was possible to find a stream or something, when I heard the sound of an engine ..... Oh my God, I was saved!!!.  Not so.  The car - some sort of black sports car with tinted windows - zoomed straight past me without even slowing down.  'Bastard!' I yelled as the car disappeared into the distance 'You fuck!'.  Well, I did calm down eventually, well not without difficulty, and then I started thinking about the water situation again.  And, I noticed, it was starting to get late.  No water, stuck up a fucking mountain, and ignored by the only car to go past in hours, I was definitely depressed.  God knows what sort of wild creatures came out at night here ... I couldn't supress just a little shiver.  'You like animals' I told myself 'You have an affinity with them'   Yes maybe, but those were mainly the fluffy domesticated kind, not crazy WILD animals of unknown fierceness ............

What seemed like a long, long, time after these thoughts, I heard that car engine again, this time coming back from wherever it had been.  This time the fuck was going to stop even if I had to throw myself under the wheels.  No one ignores me and gets away with it!  Just then the car turned the bend and I ran into the middle of the road, waving my arms about and yelling 'Stop! Stop!' like a complete lunatic.  My God, I hadn't realised I was THAT desperate for rescue!  Obviously the car stopped, otherwise I'd have been squashed flat, but it was a close thing.  The car stopped 6 inches, at most, from my body.  The car door flew open and the driver got out, raising his sunglasses and slipping them onto the top of his head.  'WFT are you doing' he yelled ' Gott im Himmel, I could have killed you!'  Well I was just paralysed, rooted to the spot, even I was speechless.  It wasn't the near fatal collision which had shaken me, but the sight of him.  He was beautiful.  There isn't any other word for the way he looked.  Tall and dark, with wonderful green eyes - even if just now they were filled with rage - beautiful was the only way to describe him.  When I finally came to my senses I realised he was speaking, quite loudly actually, and still demanding to know what the fuck I thought I was doing.  My mind was racing - how could I appease this gorgeous man, make him like me, AND have him rescue me at the same time?  Obviously an apology was in order.  This wasn't something that came easily to me, but in this case swollowing my pride seemed a sensible thing to do.

'Oh God, I'm SO sorry' I gushed 'it's just that I've been stuck up here for hours, I'm out of water, it's getting late, and there might be wild animals............'  The words tumbled out of me in a shockingly uncontrolled way.  'Ok Ok' he said 'it's ok!  I understand.  But you didn't have to do this ..... I was going to stop anyway'  It was at this point that I realised, rather late in the day, that he definitley wasn't from around these parts.  In fact he appeared to be German.  Umm I thought, how much German do I know?  'Ich liebe dich' ..... that might come in handy later, but it wasn't going to help me now.  Luckily he appeared to be pretty fluent in English so it wasn't so bad.  'But you drove past me hours ago' I babbled 'If u were going to stop, why didn't you do it then?  You must have seen I'd broken down'.  'I had my reasons.' he said in a low voice, 'But, I am here now.  How can I help?'  Well I could have told him what I was thinking, but he might have been appalled and driven away, leaving me alone with the wild animals and no water.  On the other hand, you never know.  'Be reasonably sensible for once' I thought, shaking myself mentally.  So I told him, quietly and calmly, about the tyre and that I couldn't change it myself.  I just had to hope he didn't think me one of those pathetic females who can't do anything for herself.  But he laughed.  Yes he laughed.  What the fuck was so funny?  Then he pulled up his sleeve and held out his right hand, showing me the bandage around his wrist.  'I injured myself' he said. 'An accident. I can drive, with the power steering, but I couldn't use a wrench on the wheel, I'm afraid', and with that he started to get back into the car. I just stared at him ..... this fuck - no, this angel - was going to drive off and leave me here!  I ran over to the car, tugging at the handle to stop him closing the door. 'You can't just leave me here' I yelled, disgusted at the sound of my own rising panic.  He contemplated me solemnly for what seemed like a long time, but then he smiled slightly.  'I could' he said slowly, 'but I am not going to.  If you get your stuff I'll take you to your hotel'.  He calmly replaced his shades and settled back in the driving seat, waiting.  Well you can imagine how quickly I got my things.  Not only rescue, deliverance from fierce animals and the prospect of water and food, but a journey sitting next to that angel. And then what?  My mind ran riot .....

Once we set off he said ........ nothing.  Nothing at all.  He kept his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel.  My hopeful thoughts withered and died quite quickly.  This guy was silent, and what's more I'd felt the barriers come down as soon as I got into the car.  He was on his guard and I felt the tension in the air.  The romantic liaison I'd pictured was looking less and less likely by the minute.  Eventually I broke the silence and told him where I was staying. If I was hoping for words I was disappointed.  He just nodded.  I sighed and shut up, looking out of the window and watching the scenery slide by.  After what seemed like ages he said that he was staying there too.  What a result!!  Things were definitely looking up!!  My dreams took shape again and  were looking quite promising.  It was then I remembered 'thank you' in German is 'danke'.  Ummm .... now that could certainly come in handy if my dreams worked out the way I imagined them.  After a while I began to see houses and people again - we were coming back into civilization.  Soon, far too soon, we pulled up in front of the hotel and he turned off the powerful engine.  I took a deep breath and thanked him for the lift, and then introduced myself, holding out my hand.   He turned to me and flashed a brilliant smile, taking my hand and brushing it with his perfect lips.  'I'm Till Lindemann' he said

To be continued ...............

Description
Bolt from the Blue  (part 1)

It wasn't impossible.  It was just that I wasn't going to do it.  I imagined the uncomfortable position, the feel of the latex, and worst of all, the mess.  No, my mind just revolted against it.  Yes I knew how to do it but that made no difference at all.   I was never going to change a tyre and that was that.  Even wearing the latex gloves I carried in the boot, there would be a yukky mess, so changing the wheel myself was definately out of the question. Just my luck to get a puncture half way up a mountain.

I HAD tried to call the AA of course, but up there in the hills there was no signal.  'Bloody typical' I fumed '..... fucking mobile phone!'  I would have chucked it over the side of the cliff but I wasn't that enraged .... yet.  'Ok then' I thought, 'I'll just have to wait for the proverbial Good Samaritan to drive by and offer to help'   Not that that was very likely.  The whole point of coming up here was precisely because it WAS isolated and lonely, as I had needed time alone to sort some things out in my mind.  'Oh well, I'll just have to wait and hope' I thought.

2 hours later my hope was fading fast, and I was almost out of the mineral water I obsessively carried everywhere with me.  Now I was getting a bit panicy - yes I'll admit it.  The thought of being without water was worse than the fact that I might be stuck here for hours yet. I was just wondering if it was possible to find a stream or something, when I heard the sound of an engine ..... Oh my God, I was saved!!!.  Not so.  The car - some sort of black sports car with tinted windows - zoomed straight past me without even slowing down.  'Bastard!' I yelled as the car disappeared into the distance 'You fuck!'.  Well, I did calm down eventually, well not without difficulty, and then I started thinking about the water situation again.  And, I noticed, it was starting to get late.  No water, stuck up a fucking mountain, and ignored by the only car to go past in hours, I was definitely depressed.  God knows what sort of wild creatures came out at night here ... I couldn't supress just a little shiver.  'You like animals' I told myself 'You have an affinity with them'   Yes maybe, but those were mainly the fluffy domesticated kind, not crazy WILD animals of unknown fierceness ............

What seemed like a long, long, time after these thoughts, I heard that car engine again, this time coming back from wherever it had been.  This time the fuck was going to stop even if I had to throw myself under the wheels.  No one ignores me and gets away with it!  Just then the car turned the bend and I ran into the middle of the road, waving my arms about and yelling 'Stop! Stop!' like a complete lunatic.  My God, I hadn't realised I was THAT desperate for rescue!  Obviously the car stopped, otherwise I'd have been squashed flat, but it was a close thing.  The car stopped 6 inches, at most, from my body.  The car door flew open and the driver got out, raising his sunglasses and slipping them onto the top of his head.  'WFT are you doing' he yelled ' Gott im Himmel, I could have killed you!'  Well I was just paralysed, rooted to the spot, even I was speechless.  It wasn't the near fatal collision which had shaken me, but the sight of him.  He was beautiful.  There isn't any other word for the way he looked.  Tall and dark, with wonderful green eyes - even if just now they were filled with rage - beautiful was the only way to describe him.  When I finally came to my senses I realised he was speaking, quite loudly actually, and still demanding to know what the fuck I thought I was doing.  My mind was racing - how could I appease this gorgeous man, make him like me, AND have him rescue me at the same time?  Obviously an apology was in order.  This wasn't something that came easily to me, but in this case swollowing my pride seemed a sensible thing to do.

'Oh God, I'm SO sorry' I gushed 'it's just that I've been stuck up here for hours, I'm out of water, it's getting late, and there might be wild animals............'  The words tumbled out of me in a shockingly uncontrolled way.  'Ok Ok' he said 'it's ok!  I understand.  But you didn't have to do this ..... I was going to stop anyway'  It was at this point that I realised, rather late in the day, that he definitley wasn't from around these parts.  In fact he appeared to be German.  Umm I thought, how much German do I know?  'Ich liebe dich' ..... that might come in handy later, but it wasn't going to help me now.  Luckily he appeared to be pretty fluent in English so it wasn't so bad.  'But you drove past me hours ago' I babbled 'If u were going to stop, why didn't you do it then?  You must have seen I'd broken down'.  'I had my reasons.' he said in a low voice, 'But, I am here now.  How can I help?'  Well I could have told him what I was thinking, but he might have been appalled and driven away, leaving me alone with the wild animals and no water.  On the other hand, you never know.  'Be reasonably sensible for once' I thought, shaking myself mentally.  So I told him, quietly and calmly, about the tyre and that I couldn't change it myself.  I just had to hope he didn't think me one of those pathetic females who can't do anything for herself.  But he laughed.  Yes he laughed.  What the fuck was so funny?  Then he pulled up his sleeve and held out his right hand, showing me the bandage around his wrist.  'I injured myself' he said. 'An accident. I can drive, with the power steering, but I couldn't use a wrench on the wheel, I'm afraid', and with that he started to get back into the car. I just stared at him ..... this fuck - no, this angel - was going to drive off and leave me here!  I ran over to the car, tugging at the handle to stop him closing the door. 'You can't just leave me here' I yelled, disgusted at the sound of my own rising panic.  He contemplated me solemnly for what seemed like a long time, but then he smiled slightly.  'I could' he said slowly, 'but I am not going to.  If you get your stuff I'll take you to your hotel'.  He calmly replaced his shades and settled back in the driving seat, waiting.  Well you can imagine how quickly I got my things.  Not only rescue, deliverance from fierce animals and the prospect of water and food, but a journey sitting next to that angel. And then what?  My mind ran riot .....

Once we set off he said ........ nothing.  Nothing at all.  He kept his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel.  My hopeful thoughts withered and died quite quickly.  This guy was silent, and what's more I'd felt the barriers come down as soon as I got into the car.  He was on his guard and I felt the tension in the air.  The romantic liaison I'd pictured was looking less and less likely by the minute.  Eventually I broke the silence and told him where I was staying. If I was hoping for words I was disappointed.  He just nodded.  I sighed and shut up, looking out of the window and watching the scenery slide by.  After what seemed like ages he said that he was staying there too.  What a result!!  Things were definitely looking up!!  My dreams took shape again and  were looking quite promising.  It was then I remembered 'thank you' in German is 'danke'.  Ummm .... now that could certainly come in handy if my dreams worked out the way I imagined them.  After a while I began to see houses and people again - we were coming back into civilization.  Soon, far too soon, we pulled up in front of the hotel and he turned off the powerful engine.  I took a deep breath and thanked him for the lift, and then introduced myself, holding out my hand.   He turned to me and flashed a brilliant smile, taking my hand and brushing it with his perfect lips.  'I'm Till Lindemann' he said

To be continued ...............