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silly-shay — - F i r s t -
Published: 2002-12-19 07:00:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 1134; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 269
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Description
hm this one is interesting. the end may feel forced to you, or it may not. i put this under erotic because parts of it lead to erotic thoughts[heh heh heh] and the whole situation is pretty much erotic tho it is also emotional. comments would be great.and yes, i put a disclaimer on this. everyone always thinks its about me...and it is a lot. but this one isnt. so there.
enjoy
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Comments: 17
very nicely done, i really enjoyed this you are a very talented wirter
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OO MY GOD! I LOVE IT!! THAT IS SO AMAZING!!! WOW
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Like many, I rarely read poetry here... too much angst, pit of depths, sorrow filled shattering blackness and all...
This is a change. It's excellent. I'm from the school of thought that suggests it's better to keep things somewhat ambiguous so that the reader can equate the events into their own experiences- I also believe that you should outro before the reader gets too comfortable. This is not too short, and the ending is not too quick (for me).
I think you hit the nail on the head with this; it's impressive and real.
Cheers
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omg i can relate. this gave me a tear. Favorite.
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*jaw drops to floor and crashes down several stories* oh.. my.
this peice is amazing. Just, uh.. embrace the fact that you dont have the experience. Thats not a bad thing at all. Otherwise this is an excellent peice.
Welll, im off to browse more DA, but I really like this one.
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I must say, I like that poem. Good job! I don't mean to take the focus off your poetry either, but OMG I love you little icon thingie It's great!
Woot ^_^
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wow i loved this. this is very true too, it happens liek this too many times... very nice work indeed.
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...sounds like my first time lol. I love the wording and details and everything. Very great job
purpledazy2..jessica
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omg i just wrote the longest comment and it only posted the first thing. in any case. i was just saying i could never right something with so much order. and your really starting to define your own style which is very descriptive.... and visually stimulating, even though it is just words. i love it.
in any case- im going to be uber mad if i dont see you this break and im going to try to sleep over daves house when your here.... if possible. or ill just invite myself over, i am family and all. haha. love you oodles and ill probably dissapear for a while (BRITISH BOY IS COMING TO MY WINTER DANCE WITH ME) haha.
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like i said before, it's gooooood, and u made a good ending i knew you could write!.... don't ever doubt urself!
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this is good i really like this +fav... hehehe this guy must be a man whore
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Very thick in its description, leaves you recovering from one line and being forced to deal with the next I like it a lot.. and i understand it a lot. Great one keep it up
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