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Description
It was ten thirty when I made up my mind to leave.  On a Thursday. I always thought if I was ever going to just pick up and go somewhere, it may as well be on a Thursday. I was thinking about that as I grabbed my backpack and pulled out all my books.
I wasn't leaving because of Spencer, even though I knew that's what everyone would think. But what do I care if he's screwing other chicks in some alley behind a bar? The cheating bastard can go die for all I care. I wasn't leaving because I found out about him. I'm not the kind who gets heartsick and runs away, like some kind of pathetic romantic 1950's film. If I really cared, I would've said so to his face, but really, he's just not worth the effort.
I don't suspect anyone will ever know my full story, or why I did the things I did. I just hope I made the right decision.
Chemistry 1150, Marketing Today, Marke's Guide to Business Writing, Javascript Bible. A dogeared novel-Anna, my roommate's; she'd said it was a page turner but I couldn't really get into it. Two notebooks, one ring of notecards, three pencils, one pink highlighter, two ballpoint pens, one sharpie, one bottle of advil, one spiral-bound diary. Six graded papers of varying ages. A pocketknife and sixty-two cents. I laid it all out on my bed. The advil, pocketknife and diary went back in the bag, along with some clothes and basic survival gear, toiletries and such. I didn't really need them, but what's the use of running without taking anything with you? I didn't want to be totally miserable, after all.
The picture of Shannie… that went in the bag too. It had her address on the back. I didn't intend on staying with her, but it was a nice backup all the same.
Everything else stayed. How long would I be gone? No idea. I wasn't telling anyone anyway. I wasn't even leaving a note for Anna. This was a crazy move for me. It was stupid. It was impulsive. But it was important.
I knew I wasn't running away, that much I knew for sure. But for once, I didn't really have a plan. Well, I had a rough sketch of what I might do for the next hour, if I could work up the guts to actually do it instead of spending a depressed hour at the coffee shop down the street before chickening out and going home.
I put half my cash in my shoe, the rest stayed in the wallet, which went in the front pocket of my jeans. Couldn't be too careful. I threw on a coat and the backpack. I took a look in the mirror hanging on the back of my door. Better to dress low-key for this… but then, I usually dressed pretty low key anyway. Today was no different-dark jeans, gray long-sleeve tee, long brown coat, white tennis shoes, hair down. It would be so easy to get lost in the crowd. I brushed my bangs out of my eyes. I like to think I'm kind of pretty, though not in the way Hollywood stars are pretty; my hair is too brown, my eyes are too dark, and my frame is just a little too average. Still, I've got enough curves to pass for a girl, and my complexion is pretty good. I take care of myself.
I sighed. "Well, let's do it," I muttered. I flipped off the lights and shut the door on my way out. That would at least buy me some time before my cell phone started going off. I walked out into the living room, where the bluish light of the television flickered. Anna and Ben were on the couch, asleep. I didn't bother turning it off before leaving.
She would have come with, if I'd asked Anna to leave with me. She's the sensitive type, the kind who can tell right away when you need something, and always knows how to get it for you. I know she'd love the idea of going out for some good old-fashioned soul searching. But I couldn't ask her to do that. She has a future here, with Ben, and with the kids she'll be teaching in a year or two. Her heart's just a little too big to just leave everything behind. The corners of her mouth turn up just a little too much when Ben puts his arm around her. They don't know it yet, but I can tell they're going to spend the rest of their lives together, and for that reason, I didn't wake her as I walked out the door, locking it behind me.
Shayla's car was in the driveway. We didn't see or talk to her much, but she paid her share of the rent and didn't make much of a fuss, so I didn't pry into her business. I did, however, briefly consider just taking her car. I didn't know where her keys were, but I did know her daddy would buy her a new one if I took it…
I ended up just taking the bus. It was easy and free anyway. Plus it made it easier to not think, just watch the streetlamps go by one by one, their lurid orange glow warping shadows as they passed. I got off when it got into town, not really knowing if I had the courage to figure out what was next. There weren't many options in such a small college town, but I'd had a vague shadow of where to go. The train station was only a block away. It wasn't as quick and decisive as flying, but it was pretty cheap and it sure beat the bus. I stopped at an ATM and took some more cash before heading over. My savings were meager but I knew they'd take me far enough to figure out where I was going. At the very least I'd be able to survive for a good month or two if I was careful, thanks to the money my relatives had relayed over for my birthday a couple of weeks ago.
I walked to the train station and walked right up to the ticket office, not bothering to look at the schedule.  I knew it was somewhere close to midnight by now.
"Can I help you miss?" the ticket attendant had a thick, nasally Brooklyn accent and an obvious case of boredom only accentuated by the large wad of gum she was chewing.  She held a book in her lap, some trashy romance novel by the look of it. She barely glanced to scan my features through apathetic eyes shadowed behind unkempt black bangs.
"Yeah, when does the next train leave?" I asked, in what I hoped was my most innocent and polite voice.
"Next train leaves in… twenny minutes."
I pulled out my wad of cash. "One ticket to the last stop, please."
"Well hon, don't you wanna know where it's goin'?"
I pasted on a smile. "Not really."
The attendant raised an eyebrow before taking my cash and printing out a few slips of paper, which she slid through the window with my change. I thanked her and quickly stuffed the tickets and coins in my coat pocket before turning away to have a glance around the station. There wasn't much to see. I spent the next few minutes in the adjoining café with a cup of hot tea. Even April nights are chilly out here.
Before I knew it I was on the train, with no idea where I was going. I didn't care. I was going anywhere, that was all that mattered.
The car was nearly empty, with a small group of sleepy-eyed students huddled in one corner, and an old man reading a paper a few seats down. An overworked-looking woman in a waitress's uniform slept in the row in front of him. I was content to just sit and listen to the sound of the train rolling over the tracks. I looked down at my tickets. The first stop was only twenty minutes away, in the outskirts of Detroit. I'd only ever been there once, a long time ago when I was a little girl, but I didn't remember liking it much. Too much smoke and my parents had been fighting at the time. No reason to get off at that stop, I thought. The train kept moving through the cold shadows. I was grateful for the quiet. Soon the train began to slow. The old man folded his paper and stood up to get off the train, which halted with a sudden jerk, causing him to stumble. He muttered something under his breath as he left. A few more came  in to replace him: A young couple carrying a sleeping child, a timid looking man in a suit who quickly made his way to a secluded corner, and a young man dressed in tight jeans and a black leather jacket, who came to sit across from me. He looked like some Jon Bon Jovi wannabe, complete with tousled, fair hair and big white smile which he flashed at me as he sat down. He said nothing as the train bumped into motion, and stayed silent for the first few minutes of the ride. I couldn't stop staring at him, though I tried not to make it obvious. He was just so… raw. He looked like he belonged in a motorcycle gang or something, sitting there so nonchalant with his feet propped up on the seat, casually leaning against the armrest like he owned the place. He gently bobbed his head to the beat of a song I could only imagine was playing in his head, as he wasn't listening to an mp3 player. His face was something to look at, with a man's square jaw and thin, angular  face but a boy's pouty lips and gentle eyes. I figured I'd better look away before he caught me staring.
He had some kind of pamphlet with his tickets, though I only gave it a passing glance. Still, he must've noticed me looking because he held it up so I could see it better. Then he said, "Travel map. They gave it to me when I bought the tickets. Must've thought I'd get lost or something."
I nodded with a half-smile. "Yeah, nice to have all the same though." May as well be polite.
He smirked. "You want it? I don't need it."
"I guess you know exactly where you're going then?" I asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.
He sighed and settled into his seat. "I'm going anywhere, that's all that matters."

Description
It was ten thirty when I made up my mind to leave.  On a Thursday. I always thought if I was ever going to just pick up and go somewhere, it may as well be on a Thursday. I was thinking about that as I grabbed my backpack and pulled out all my books.
I wasn't leaving because of Spencer, even though I knew that's what everyone would think. But what do I care if he's screwing other chicks in some alley behind a bar? The cheating bastard can go die for all I care. I wasn't leaving because I found out about him. I'm not the kind who gets heartsick and runs away, like some kind of pathetic romantic 1950's film. If I really cared, I would've said so to his face, but really, he's just not worth the effort.
I don't suspect anyone will ever know my full story, or why I did the things I did. I just hope I made the right decision.
Chemistry 1150, Marketing Today, Marke's Guide to Business Writing, Javascript Bible. A dogeared novel-Anna, my roommate's; she'd said it was a page turner but I couldn't really get into it. Two notebooks, one ring of notecards, three pencils, one pink highlighter, two ballpoint pens, one sharpie, one bottle of advil, one spiral-bound diary. Six graded papers of varying ages. A pocketknife and sixty-two cents. I laid it all out on my bed. The advil, pocketknife and diary went back in the bag, along with some clothes and basic survival gear, toiletries and such. I didn't really need them, but what's the use of running without taking anything with you? I didn't want to be totally miserable, after all.
The picture of Shannie… that went in the bag too. It had her address on the back. I didn't intend on staying with her, but it was a nice backup all the same.
Everything else stayed. How long would I be gone? No idea. I wasn't telling anyone anyway. I wasn't even leaving a note for Anna. This was a crazy move for me. It was stupid. It was impulsive. But it was important.
I knew I wasn't running away, that much I knew for sure. But for once, I didn't really have a plan. Well, I had a rough sketch of what I might do for the next hour, if I could work up the guts to actually do it instead of spending a depressed hour at the coffee shop down the street before chickening out and going home.
I put half my cash in my shoe, the rest stayed in the wallet, which went in the front pocket of my jeans. Couldn't be too careful. I threw on a coat and the backpack. I took a look in the mirror hanging on the back of my door. Better to dress low-key for this… but then, I usually dressed pretty low key anyway. Today was no different-dark jeans, gray long-sleeve tee, long brown coat, white tennis shoes, hair down. It would be so easy to get lost in the crowd. I brushed my bangs out of my eyes. I like to think I'm kind of pretty, though not in the way Hollywood stars are pretty; my hair is too brown, my eyes are too dark, and my frame is just a little too average. Still, I've got enough curves to pass for a girl, and my complexion is pretty good. I take care of myself.
I sighed. "Well, let's do it," I muttered. I flipped off the lights and shut the door on my way out. That would at least buy me some time before my cell phone started going off. I walked out into the living room, where the bluish light of the television flickered. Anna and Ben were on the couch, asleep. I didn't bother turning it off before leaving.
She would have come with, if I'd asked Anna to leave with me. She's the sensitive type, the kind who can tell right away when you need something, and always knows how to get it for you. I know she'd love the idea of going out for some good old-fashioned soul searching. But I couldn't ask her to do that. She has a future here, with Ben, and with the kids she'll be teaching in a year or two. Her heart's just a little too big to just leave everything behind. The corners of her mouth turn up just a little too much when Ben puts his arm around her. They don't know it yet, but I can tell they're going to spend the rest of their lives together, and for that reason, I didn't wake her as I walked out the door, locking it behind me.
Shayla's car was in the driveway. We didn't see or talk to her much, but she paid her share of the rent and didn't make much of a fuss, so I didn't pry into her business. I did, however, briefly consider just taking her car. I didn't know where her keys were, but I did know her daddy would buy her a new one if I took it…
I ended up just taking the bus. It was easy and free anyway. Plus it made it easier to not think, just watch the streetlamps go by one by one, their lurid orange glow warping shadows as they passed. I got off when it got into town, not really knowing if I had the courage to figure out what was next. There weren't many options in such a small college town, but I'd had a vague shadow of where to go. The train station was only a block away. It wasn't as quick and decisive as flying, but it was pretty cheap and it sure beat the bus. I stopped at an ATM and took some more cash before heading over. My savings were meager but I knew they'd take me far enough to figure out where I was going. At the very least I'd be able to survive for a good month or two if I was careful, thanks to the money my relatives had relayed over for my birthday a couple of weeks ago.
I walked to the train station and walked right up to the ticket office, not bothering to look at the schedule.  I knew it was somewhere close to midnight by now.
"Can I help you miss?" the ticket attendant had a thick, nasally Brooklyn accent and an obvious case of boredom only accentuated by the large wad of gum she was chewing.  She held a book in her lap, some trashy romance novel by the look of it. She barely glanced to scan my features through apathetic eyes shadowed behind unkempt black bangs.
"Yeah, when does the next train leave?" I asked, in what I hoped was my most innocent and polite voice.
"Next train leaves in… twenny minutes."
I pulled out my wad of cash. "One ticket to the last stop, please."
"Well hon, don't you wanna know where it's goin'?"
I pasted on a smile. "Not really."
The attendant raised an eyebrow before taking my cash and printing out a few slips of paper, which she slid through the window with my change. I thanked her and quickly stuffed the tickets and coins in my coat pocket before turning away to have a glance around the station. There wasn't much to see. I spent the next few minutes in the adjoining café with a cup of hot tea. Even April nights are chilly out here.
Before I knew it I was on the train, with no idea where I was going. I didn't care. I was going anywhere, that was all that mattered.
The car was nearly empty, with a small group of sleepy-eyed students huddled in one corner, and an old man reading a paper a few seats down. An overworked-looking woman in a waitress's uniform slept in the row in front of him. I was content to just sit and listen to the sound of the train rolling over the tracks. I looked down at my tickets. The first stop was only twenty minutes away, in the outskirts of Detroit. I'd only ever been there once, a long time ago when I was a little girl, but I didn't remember liking it much. Too much smoke and my parents had been fighting at the time. No reason to get off at that stop, I thought. The train kept moving through the cold shadows. I was grateful for the quiet. Soon the train began to slow. The old man folded his paper and stood up to get off the train, which halted with a sudden jerk, causing him to stumble. He muttered something under his breath as he left. A few more came  in to replace him: A young couple carrying a sleeping child, a timid looking man in a suit who quickly made his way to a secluded corner, and a young man dressed in tight jeans and a black leather jacket, who came to sit across from me. He looked like some Jon Bon Jovi wannabe, complete with tousled, fair hair and big white smile which he flashed at me as he sat down. He said nothing as the train bumped into motion, and stayed silent for the first few minutes of the ride. I couldn't stop staring at him, though I tried not to make it obvious. He was just so… raw. He looked like he belonged in a motorcycle gang or something, sitting there so nonchalant with his feet propped up on the seat, casually leaning against the armrest like he owned the place. He gently bobbed his head to the beat of a song I could only imagine was playing in his head, as he wasn't listening to an mp3 player. His face was something to look at, with a man's square jaw and thin, angular  face but a boy's pouty lips and gentle eyes. I figured I'd better look away before he caught me staring.
He had some kind of pamphlet with his tickets, though I only gave it a passing glance. Still, he must've noticed me looking because he held it up so I could see it better. Then he said, "Travel map. They gave it to me when I bought the tickets. Must've thought I'd get lost or something."
I nodded with a half-smile. "Yeah, nice to have all the same though." May as well be polite.
He smirked. "You want it? I don't need it."
"I guess you know exactly where you're going then?" I asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.
He sighed and settled into his seat. "I'm going anywhere, that's all that matters."