Comments: 30
Songdogx [2017-02-05 21:57:31 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Your art is beautiful. You make use of the lack of colors fantastically while capturing all of the textures and shapes. Your expressions deliver exactly what they need to. The environments feel real and three dimensional. Your characters have unique shape, at least the important ones (whenever dogs that aren't the main characters show up, they do look very samey to me; you call them hounds but they all look very wolfish without much variation in shape). You have a strong sense of anatomy and how bodies work, and your poses always feel very real. Your world is interesting with a lot of neat concepts.
But your story's pacing is a bit of a mess. It feels like very little has been accomplished in the last hundred pages. You're not making enough use of your pages and output speed. I don't know the direction of the story anymore, or what they're aiming to do; what the end goal is. Normally with wildlife comics I'm fine with the idea of "survival" but these characters clearly feel like they're working to an inevitable goal other than "stay alive". Maybe the goal been said but the pacing of the story has been so slow, I no longer remember. The characters have begun to feel stagnant as there's not enough pushing their development, not enough for them to react to and their actions don't really feel like they're driving the story. I think a slow pace can work when pages are being put out frequently, but we entered this cave back in November. And while meaningful dialog has said, I don't feel it's enough to sustain the four months it took to be said. If you are limited by how quick you can put up pages, then make sure each page is driving the story. For example, this page establishes mood and atmosphere, which is fine to do. But when it took almost 2 months for this page to appear, it's not much of a payoff for readers. Make the most of what you have, and if time is not something you have much of (which is true of many people) then find the balance that works for you an your story.
I say this not as a way to critique past pages, which can't be changed (or at least, shouldn't) but as thoughts for future pages.
I've always been more story and character focused for comics and less on art; that is a bias I have and have no quarrel with being made known. So if you're in it just for the art and composition I suppose most of what I have to say won't be applicable to you. I couldn't do an actual critique based on art justice, so someone else would have to step in. But in the least, those are my thoughts on story, from someone who found this comic way back when it first began those long years ago.
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Paperiapina In reply to Songdogx [2017-02-05 23:29:02 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it.
I'd like to think of myself as a writer, so I sure hope my stuff has more substance than just "pretty pictures"!
You talk about the pacing of the story as if my comic was planned as a real time event, I've understood it's a word to use for the internal timeline within the story? Do correct me if I'm wrong, English isn't my first language. My holidays aren't scripted into the story.
The comic is scripted to work best in printed form, which I admit isn't optimal for webcomic experience. My drawing speed has always been my biggest fault, not because I wouldn't have time (I'm jobless at the moment) but more because of my lack of ability to concentrate. My schedule is sometimes pretty abysmal because of it, and it bothers me a lot too. I have made plans to create a work routine to speed up the process, and I hope that'll help with the updating schedule, since I really want to improve but don't want to hurt the internal pacing of the books by rushing it.
It kind of stings to be called "in it just for the art" and not for the story, as storytelling is my entire reason to do art. Sorry if I'm not good enough yet. One day I will be.
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Paperiapina In reply to Songdogx [2017-02-06 00:27:42 +0000 UTC]
Fair. I'm not sure if I can see the slowness of the story myself, but that might well be part of the cause of the problem. If nothing else, I really do want to increase my page output. The story is now at about one third of what it will be, I think, and I really want to see it done some day. And I REALLY don't want it to take another decade to do so.
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Songdogx In reply to Paperiapina [2017-02-06 03:25:18 +0000 UTC]
I wish you the best of luck comrade ^^ It's certainly no easy endeavor. I've found, personally, that I started being more invested in my own story when I picked up my upload speed. It's a bit of a snowball effect. But starting that snowball is challenging, I won't deny that!
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Tsuani-Inushiro [2017-02-07 21:19:22 +0000 UTC]
just me or she has ''extra feelings'' towards Iacar?
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Tomations [2017-02-07 16:52:33 +0000 UTC]
Yay! I'm so glad to see that this story is back in action!!! It's such an amazing story thank you for creating it!
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Bloodwolf-Xx [2017-02-07 07:39:08 +0000 UTC]
Yay it's back!
Sumara (Sorry if I spelt that wrong) is always grumpy. She reminds me of my character.
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Paperiapina In reply to Bloodwolf-Xx [2017-02-07 12:35:19 +0000 UTC]
Fun fact, Surama's name was actually originally supposed to be Sumara, but I typoed it when I started drawing the comic and just rolled with it.
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Bloodwolf-Xx In reply to Paperiapina [2017-02-10 07:04:18 +0000 UTC]
Ha funny how mistakes can just work sometimes. Surama just reminds me of my charcter Morgran who is equally grumpy and aggressive. โบ
Thank you for the fact too.
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Sonic-Milo [2017-02-06 19:47:14 +0000 UTC]
Yessssssssssssssssssss. So happy to have woken to a new page gaaaw
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fruitbatslyra [2017-02-06 15:39:56 +0000 UTC]
Aw, poor Surama.
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maximus9226 [2017-02-06 14:27:08 +0000 UTC]
Yay they're back!
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RunningSpud [2017-02-06 03:45:47 +0000 UTC]
So glad to see my favorite webcomic back in action!
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WolfusImagius [2017-02-06 03:19:04 +0000 UTC]
Pats for everybody xD
I'm glad to see updates! I was afraid they were gone too ;w;
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WolfXFox22 [2017-02-06 03:13:47 +0000 UTC]
<3
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WooflesArt [2017-02-06 03:07:52 +0000 UTC]
I really like the relationship between these two siblings, you can really tell they care for one another and are very close. Hafmar seems to be the only one immune from Surama's ill temper.
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MicaelaM2016 [2017-02-06 00:00:07 +0000 UTC]
YAY its back in action
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PuppyThief [2017-02-05 23:35:53 +0000 UTC]
so happy to see these guys! I was afraid they were gone for good.
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TessuSaysHi [2017-02-05 23:26:46 +0000 UTC]
Lots of dog pats going on in here!
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Hymenoptera2nd [2017-02-05 22:53:47 +0000 UTC]
Yay! I recently read through the entirety of Wurr and I couldnt wait for the update. I love your art and characters, this is right up my ally!
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Puntering [2017-02-05 22:30:07 +0000 UTC]
Awww yesss. I've missed this.
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akana670 [2017-02-05 22:28:18 +0000 UTC]
WURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
(ecstatically faints over new update)
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AllisterInWonderland [2017-02-05 22:01:05 +0000 UTC]
Hope the sister & bro will be okay... รฉ_รจ
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Voidblade [2017-02-05 21:55:09 +0000 UTC]
I wonder if she's talking about Iacar, or herself.
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SilentAngelsWings [2017-02-05 21:44:44 +0000 UTC]
I love Hafmar's little arms in this one, and his expressions!
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S0L0ngP4rtn3r [2017-02-05 21:44:39 +0000 UTC]
I can't tell if she regrets leaving, or regrets leaving knowing that good ol' boar-head isn't in good condition.
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jojo-deer [2017-02-05 21:42:04 +0000 UTC]
The return~! OwO
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AFanOfStuff [2017-02-05 21:41:46 +0000 UTC]
I have a really bad cold right now and that little raindrop hitting Hafmar's nose made me want to sneeze
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