ColdContactKiss [2005-09-16 08:09:27 +0000 UTC]
You embody a great message within the poem, I'm just finding it a tad difficult to pick up any fixed flow. The rhyme is obviously fine and dandy (that is, up until you switched the scheme from abab to aabb). Your syllabols and word beats per line don't add up gracefully enough, either. And, I think, last couplet should function with four lines to match everything else. I'm done knit-picking. Fabulous message, once again. Conveyed crystal clear despite the slightly wavering format.
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