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lovesparky — the crazies

Published: 2004-11-11 21:16:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 168; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 16
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Description "the crazies"
oct 12 2004
--
i see her on the other side of the broken glass window
writing with red lipstick on the wall
you watch her with open eyes
as she dances before you with a bottle in hand
your mind is blank, your heart is weak
i can see it
as she blows smoke rings around your face
and lowers the lights
ashes fall to the carpet
leaving light on impact
you're ready to go, she's not ready to leave
make sense? no. never does.
she knows she's lucky
there's an american flag on your wall
my face as the dartboard
her bags are packed, her bells are in tow
the building rocks and the wind blows
your problem is this...
i'm watching and i'm not alone
i can see your every move
feel your every touch
i know that you're kissing her
the same way you used to kiss me
i hear you speaking
those same disgusting words
i once ate from the spoon
you are her drug
don't you see?
the only exception is...
she eats away at you
until there's nothing left.
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Comments: 10

Giver [2004-12-19 16:02:33 +0000 UTC]

I do like it! If you want to change it, though, then you should. If you don't like it, then nobody should...I don't know how you'd change it either, though...^ ^;;

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lovesparky In reply to Giver [2004-12-20 19:02:11 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Giver [2004-12-17 20:45:54 +0000 UTC]

Whoa...That's really cool...The imagery is fantastic in this poem! I can imagine everything happening perfectly, and it's kind of a weird sensation. ^.^ I really like this poem a lot. The same intensity is kept throughout the poem, also. It doesn't lose itself like many poems are apt to do. ^ ~

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lovesparky In reply to Giver [2004-12-18 19:30:36 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this poem. It didn't really end up like I wanted it to. I want to change it, but I don't know how. I just wanted it to be about my ex and his ex, getting it on and such behind my back.. with me watching. I guess that's how it turned out, but I don't know. lol. Thanks so much for your comments though. Glad you like it!

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ELstock [2004-12-16 03:51:35 +0000 UTC]

beautiful

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lovesparky In reply to ELstock [2004-12-16 16:04:50 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much for the comment and ! it's greatly appreciated!

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yankeechic2290 [2004-11-11 21:38:37 +0000 UTC]

i love it! its really awesome

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lovesparky In reply to yankeechic2290 [2004-11-12 05:02:17 +0000 UTC]

awe! thanks so much!

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yankeechic2290 In reply to lovesparky [2004-11-12 20:06:50 +0000 UTC]

no prob

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lovesparky In reply to yankeechic2290 [2004-11-12 22:18:50 +0000 UTC]

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