HOME | DD
LordOfTheGeeks — The Art of Sarcasm
Published: 2005-10-26 09:14:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 19021; Favourites: 387; Downloads: 268
Redirect to original
Description
Q) Did that hurt?A) No, I was born without nerve endings.
A) Did it hurt when they removed your brain??
A) Yes, but my life is pain...
A) My childhood prepared me for pain.
A) I don't remember, I was too busy screaming.
A) Only for the first hour, then I got so delirious I didn't feel a thing!
A) This conversation is far more painful.
Q) Sorry!
A) You will be.
Q) What time is it?
A) Time you got a watch.
Q) How was school?
A) The police will fill you in.
A) The same living hell as always.
Q) Why did you do it?
A) Because there were no narrow-minded friends like you to stop me.
A) If I'd known I'd have to answer these stupid questions, I might have reconsidered.
Q) What did your parents say?
A) I ate them.
A) Parents? I was raised by dingoes.
A) I was genetically engineered and grown in a beaker. My lab tech thought it was cool, though.
Q) You're one of those freaks, aren't you?
A) It's a lifelong dream.
A) Yeah, you won't believe the stigma that [proffessional achievement] has left me with.
A) Yes, and we are all gathering at my house next weekend to sacrifice a goat. Won't you join us?
A) John Cobb is my idol.
Q) Do you do that for attention?
A) No. I do it to attract flies.
A) No, I did it for you.
A) Well it worked, didn't it?
A) I get enough attention just being me.
Q) Is that real?
A) It depends; how exactly do you define "reality"?
A) No, it's a figment of your obviously warped imagination.
Q) Are you going to eat that?
A) Only if you want it.
A) No, I am going to sit here and watch it go cold.
Q) Is it raining outside?
A) Does it ever rain inside?
Q) Why are you so happy?
A) The Samaritans were engaged.
Q) That's permanent, you know.
A) So is ignorance.
A) Is anything in life truly permanent?
Related content
Comments: 119
I wrote a fic once where a character asked another character with a very obvious second degree burn the first question. Her response was "Only when stupid people ask questions. Ouch." (She's a gargoyle, so she'll heal pretty quickly, but it still hurts until it is healed.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hillarious and I will use these in the future nuf said
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"are you flying a kite?"
"No, I'm fishing for birds"
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thanks now I can spread my cynicasim to the world Bwahaha
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Beautiful.
Chose the sarcasm emoticon to keep the sarcasm flowing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thise is the one of the best things that iv seen in my life....if iv been blind till now hahaha kiding its realy cool
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thise is the one of the best things that iv seen in my life....if iv been blind till now hahaha kiding its realy cool
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I like the comebacks, though most aren't actually sarcasm.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I like the comebacks, though most aren't actually sarcasm.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Q) Did that hurt?
A) I don't remember, I was too busy screaming.
Best!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"I was raised by dingoes" BWAHAHAHAHAHAH Excellent X'D
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I laughed not just that they are funny but that ive said similar things ^^ lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
bravo no one has wrapped it up in a pretty package like you did just now
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
A) No, it's a figment of your obviously warped imagination.
LOLZ hell yeah XD
i usually use it thought XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
There's nothing better than planning funny impromptu comebacks.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Q: How was school?
A: Why don't you come and see?
i bet that sucked but i like this
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Q) Is it raining outside?
A) Does it ever rain inside?
That was by-far my favourite. I get asked those questions way too much to rack through my brain and find out what the "real" answers are. 2 thumbs up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This is... Awesome.
I would like to give you a medal... or a cookie
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
one of the best things i ever seen. awesome job~!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
hahaaa, i particulary liked the:
Q) Is it raining outside?
A) Does it ever rain inside?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LMAO!! this is good, i think i'll use some of them on my friends XDD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
*is too sarcastic for her own good*
I love these <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OMG!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!! Hehe, this brings back memories...*cracks up* If ever you feel like caning a slutty girl, walk past and start coughing and say 'sorry, I just have a piece of TART stuck in my throat...*cough*' ...Chances are she won't even geddit...But its's funny XDDDD FAVSSS!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Definitely worth a +fav.
Those are close to my usual answers to stupid questions.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>