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Chapter Three

“Hello, beautiful,” the man in front of me said and I dropped my clutch on the concrete, my eyes wide as tears welled up in my eyes.

“G-Garth,” I choked out, frozen in place for only a moment before I rushed back down to my apartment three doors down, fumbling for my keys so I could unlock the door and run away to the safety of my room.

My keys hit the ground due to my hands shaking before I heard footsteps behind me. As I went to pick them up, the man I hadn't seen in months spoke to me even though I didn't want to hear a word he had to say.

“Jen...” he said softly as if he couldn't find the words before he held out the clutch to me.

I took it from his hands, trying to hold back the tears burning in my eyes as my whole body shook.

“Why did it have to be you? What are the chances that I'd run into you?” I questioned out loud, not looking at him. If I had known I'd run into him, I would have never accepted Ms. Tanyard's offer.

“I'm sorry,” he said and finally, my gaze met his silver-blue eyes.

My grip tightened on my keys and clutch before I said, “For what? I already heard enough of your apologies for what you did to me.”

“I didn't want us to meet like this again, but Ma insisted that I get out of the house and she trusted you, and she kept bringing up the names Jerrod and Jenine as if you were two separate people. I-I wanted to make up everything to you for what I did and figured this may have been my only chance; I understand if you don't want to be around me,” he said, sincerity lacing his tone.

I wiped the tears from my eyes as Jerrod continued to scream in the back of my mind. I chewed at my lip for a moment, weighing my options before saying, “I made your mother a promise. I'm going to uphold it for her, but this is your only chance, Garth. If you prove to me that you've changed, then maybe I won't feel like I have to keep you as far away as possible from Jerrod and I.”

He nodded his head, understanding what I meant and I sighed, “Good, then how about I keep that promise I made?”

---

It didn't take me long to drive to a diner just on the outskirts of Cambridge. We awkwardly sat in silence, only speaking to the waitress when she took our drink and food orders. Honestly, I didn't know where else to take Garth since I didn't get out much due to school.

As I twiddled my thumbs, Garth cleared his throat before he said, “So, how have you been lately? It's been quite a while since we've seen each other.”

I glanced up at him and said, “Busy; between school, selling Avon for money, and trying to socialize with my friends, I barely have time to think.”

He chuckled softly, saying, “It's a good thing you've made some friends around here; I know you only had a couple in your hometown. I have to ask though, does anyone know around here? As I mentioned earlier, Ma always refer to you as two separate people.”

I swallowed, looking down, “No. No one does. I-I can't tell anyone because no one would want to be around me if they knew. I have to keep Jerrod and I separate.”

Garth sighed softly, folding his hands on the table as he said, “I don't think that, Jen.”

“You don't know that though. If... If you knew what I dealt with after we stopped being together, then you'd understand on why I insist on keeping this a secret like I do. It's easier to live two separate lives; I can be who I want to be when I want to be. Like today, I wanted to be Jenine, that's why I came out of my apartment as who I am today,” I said, gripping my hands into fists under the table before he glanced a way, humming as if he was contemplating.

“You're right, I don't know what you dealt with. I don't know why you ran away so early like you did, but I'm not going to ask you why; if you want to tell me, you will,” he said softly, his eyes meeting mine again before I sighed.

The waitress sat our food in front of us and topped off my drink before I picked up my silverware, staring at the steak in front of me. I cut off a small piece before taking a bite of it, enjoying the taste. I guess parts of Jerrod show through Jenine's persona when it comes to food.

“So, have you been seeing anyone lately?” Garth said, taking a bite of his food and looking up at me in curiosity.

“Uh... Kind of? There's a guy I go to school with and he's a part of my friend group. He's nice and I think he's cute, but we're just friends kind of right now. I don't really know his opinion on me, but he seems interested in me,” I muttered, taking another bite of the steak before Garth's eyes cast down to the table for just a moment.

“Well, which side is he interested in?”

I didn't respond immediately since I knew that he probably already knew which side it was. Most of my friends already knew that Jerrod was gay, and they didn't seem to mind it, but Jenine was perfectly straight, probably a reason why I insisted on pursuing a relationship with Lukas while Jerrod kept telling me to stay as far away from him as possible.

Instead of giving an answer, I avoided the question completely. “What are you doing back in Cambridge? You never did tell me that you were from here,” I asked.

“A lot of things happened after you left. I-I missed you to be honest, but I was still seeing...” He paused for a second before continuing, “We didn't stay together long though. He found out that I still had feelings for you, that I was trying to change myself for you, and he didn't like that at all. We, um, we broke up right after you left and I found comfort in an old pastime of mine that you never knew about...”

He chewed at his lip as I glanced up at him in curiosity, raising an eyebrow, “Which was?”

“Liquor, wine, beer, whichever you prefer when it comes to alcohol. I had a stint in rehab and when I just couldn't commit to the program, I checked myself out and ran as far away as possible. To be honest, I didn't know you were going to end up in Cambridge, but if I had known sooner, I probably would have came and asked for you back,” he said softly, and I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. From the way I was understanding his words, it sounded like he was an alcoholic, but from what I remembered, he only drank wine around me once or twice in the span of our relationship.

There was a pause in our conversation as I bit my lip before saying, “W-Why did you never bring that up to me?”

“I didn't think it was important,” he said brushing it off, “I thought I could keep it in control since I was only drinking every once in a while. It was hard though; I went back to some old ways after you left and there's still some habits that I'm trying to break today.”

I shook my head, looking away from him, not saying anything before returning back to the food in front of me. Thoughts were running around my head as I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He said that he had changed, but in what ways? How many secrets had he been keeping from me the whole time were dating, and who was the say that he wouldn't quit keeping secrets from me. He knew that this was his only chance, but what if I ended up falling for him again.

“Not you, Jenine. Me. I still love him and I'd take him back in less than a heartbeat,” Jerrod said softly in my mind and I bit down on my lip.

---

Garth and I rode around the streets of Cambridge, making our way into Boston for a little bit just to look around. Throughout the day, I was growing more and more comfortable to be around him and only for a moment, it felt like we were back in my hometown over a year ago, hanging out in the city and just enjoying ourselves.

We stopped at a few shopping centers and he picked out a couple outfits for me, offering to pay even though I insisted that he didn't. As we stood up at the counter, he handed his card over to the cashier without even giving me a chance to get out mine. After a moment, the cashier handed the bags over to me and I glanced over at him as we were walking out of the store.

“You really didn't have to do that,” I said softly.

“Hey, you're the one living two lives and I figured that, that can't be too cheap to keep up. Besides, I don't mind treating you; I used to do it all the time. You need to save your money anyways because I remember when I was going to college, it wasn't cheap,” he chuckled softly, taking a sip of the coffee in his hands and I felt my face burn bright for only a moment.

It was true, he used to treat me all the time, but then again, he had a high position in human resources at a big company in town. I had no idea if he was even working at the moment, but then again, I hadn't dared to ask him.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” He said, glancing over at me as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I said softly as we made our way back to my car.

“I don't want to ask too much of you, but when we head back to the apartments, can I see Jerrod for a bit? I know you probably don't want to let him out at the moment since we're out in public, but I know that Jenine is a completely different person than from what I remember her as. I just want to see the other side and see if there's any difference than him now,” he said softly, glancing away as he spoke, his attention turning back to his coffee.

“I'll let him. I mean, you've got comfortable around him; who is to say that I won't be?” Jerrod said softly and slowly I nodded my head.

“Yeah, he's okay with that.”

“Good,” Garth said, smiling.

---

I unlocked the door to my apartment, glancing at the sun setting in the distance. Honestly, I had lost track of time throughout the day. The older man stood behind me as he seemed kind of excited, but I didn't say anything about it.

As the two of us walked into my apartment, I gestured over to the small love-seat I had sitting in the living room before saying, “Make yourself comfortable; I'll be back in a few.”

I walked down the hall, carrying my clutch and the bag of clothes with me as I made my way into Jenine's room. I flicked on the light, glancing over at myself in the mirror as I could feel Jerrod's nerves creeping out as his personality was slowly taking over. My hands shook slightly as I went to remove my wig, grabbing a wipe and slowly taking off the makeup that I had carefully done earlier.

As I finished taking off the whole outfit, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt before checking my hair in the mirror. I ran a brush quickly through it, taking notice that it was as unkempt as ever and I muttered to myself, “Why did I agree to this?”

“I asked you and you said that you'd be okay with seeing him; just don't fall in love with him right away, Jerrod,” Jenine teased and I rolled my eyes before exiting the room, walking slowly back into the living area.

I stopped by the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip out of it before walking into the living area and Garth's eyes lit up the moment that he saw me. He ran a hand through his dark hair, sitting up on the couch before standing up and saying, “It's been forever since I've seen you, Jerrod.”

I laughed softly before saying, “Not entirely, you saw me just a few minutes ago.”

Garth shook his head before asking, “C-Can I give you a hug?”

Instantly, my face fired up in a blush. I didn't know what kind of intentions Garth had when he said he wanted to see me again, but slowly, I nodded my head, realizing that I really wanted him to hold me once again like he used to. Even though I really had just seen him through Jenine's eyes, it had felt like it had been a long, long time since I had seen the man standing in front of me... and I really, truly missed him.

“Y-Yeah,” I said, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight to him as I could hear his heart beating in his chest. It took me a moment to return the gesture, taking in the scent of his clothing before I rested my head against his shoulder. Tears were slowly welling up in my eyes and I tried to wipe them away without him noticing, but I failed as he just shushed me quietly in a comforting way.

“It's okay. I'm here. I'm not leaving,” he said softly, holding me a tad bit tighter as I let the tears loose. I didn't really know what had came over me, but this was the most naked that I had ever felt since moving here. No one knew who I really was, only him. He was the only one that I had trusted enough to see both sides of me in months and I was just overcome with emotion that I didn't know how to take it.

“Yep. You're definitely still in love with him,” Jenine sighed from the back of my mind and I shooed her away, trying to take in what was going on currently.

Garth finally let go of me before I glanced up at him with teary eyes, wiping them away with the back of my hand before muttering out a small, “Sorry.”

He shook his head, saying softly, “You don't after to apologize for being emotional. I know that's how you've always been, Jer.”

I nodded my head softly, walking over to the couch before taking a seat and he sat down beside me, a small smile on his face. I wiped my eyes once again, grabbing a tissue from the box on the coffee table before he said, “Well, I got Jenine's side of things, so it's only fair to get yours. How have you been doing?”

“I-I've been okay. As she said earlier, it's been busy around here. I'm working on getting my degree and unless I'm out of the house, I'm usually studying for exams or doing homework. I got out with my friends sometimes, but they're about as busy as I am. I help your mom out when I can and I spend a lot of time with Ju-Ju also since she's always wandering around my apartment as some point or another,” I said, glancing down at the open textbook I had sitting on the coffee table.

He chuckled softly, “You've always been busy with schoolwork. I remember how you were in high school; if you had the test the next day and you were hanging out at my house, you had your nose buried in your book trying to take in all the information you could.”

I let out a weak laugh before saying, “Yeah, Mom and Dad were always serious about me keeping my grades high. At least I don't have them harassing me every day about it anymore...” I stopped my sentence, knowing that he was probably going to ask me how they were doing, but in a sense, I was hoping that he wouldn't.

“I assume that you still are though?” He asked and I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

“Y-Yeah. I've got high grades in all of my classes currently. I hate the amount of essays I've been having to do, but it's been worth working towards my degree. I'd love to be able to make something of my life,” I muttered, glancing over to the other side of the room before looking over at him again.

He nodded his head before he said, “So, since I'm talking to you right now, can you explain to me a little better why you're living two lives?”

I sighed softly before saying, “Something happened back home after we broke up. I-I don't want to go into detail too much, but it caused something to change in me. I-I-I really don't want to sound crazy when I explain this because in my head it seems like it'd be so hard for other people to understand it.”

He shook his head, putting a hand on my shoulder before saying it, “I'll try my best to understand, Jer.”

“Well, I was one person until it happened. I was Jerrod and only Jerrod unless I wanted Jenine to be out. Now, it's different... There's the two of us living in my head, which is why our personalities are so different; Jenine is outgoing, wants to have fun, and I'm still an introvert like I was before. I try to put myself out there, but it's so hard and I'm pretty sure I have depression, but I've never went to a doctor to find out. That being said, I always hear Jenine when I'm Jerrod and Jenine always hears me when I'm trapped in her head. I can switch between the personalities pretty easily because we share the same body and we know that each one of us have similar, but different lives, but sometimes I don't understand why it's like this... It wasn't like this before...” I struggled to get the words out as I spoke them for the first time ever, trying to explain why I knew I had to keep my lives separate because Jenine and I just weren't the same person, among other reasons in my past.

Garth looked as if he were taking in the information slowly before saying, “Well, maybe it's just something you're not meant to understand. Like I told Jenine earlier, I won't ask what happened unless you want to tell me. That being said, it's all up to you.”

I took a sip of the bottle of water before nodding my head and saying, “I might eventually, but I haven't told anyone to be honest. No one knows me around here so I guess that's why I'm able to live the way that I do so easily. It would be different if I was back home, I'm certain.”

He hummed in agreement before placing a hand on my back, rubbing it gently before he said, “Not the change the subject so easily, but Jenine told me earlier that I had one chance to prove to you that I had changed, and I have to ask; do you think I have?”

“You're different, but it's different in a good way. I wasn't expecting you to tell us earlier about how you've been to rehab and had an issue that you never told me about, but I think we could give you a few more chances. I... The only thing I ask for you to do though is to not hurt me like you did again. After you left, I just didn't know what to do. I missed you... Hell, I still miss you most days, and I'll admit to that, but what you did really hurt me a lot. I hope you know that, Garth,” I said, looking up at him as tears welled up in my eyes again, remembering that day I walked into his house.

“I know, and I've been wanting to make it up to you after all this time, but I didn't know when my chance would be. I knew that you had skipped town and I thought my chances of running into you again were next to none,” he said and I glanced over at him.

“Well, I'm glad I got to see you again. Like you said, it feels like it's been forever.”

He laughed softly and said, “That it has.”

I glanced over at the clock on the wall, noticing that the sun had finally set and the outside of the apartment was shrouded in darkness. I checked my phone, seeing that I had a couple of text messages, but I sat the phone down on the coffee table, leaning back in my seat. Garth's eyes watched over at me, as he reached over, running his fingers through my unkempt hair. I leaned into the touch without thinking before moving a little bit closer to him, listening to the warning that Jenine gave me in the back of my mind.

“Are you sure you want to do this? What if he does hurt you again?”

I waved her away once again, enjoying his warmth, the gentleness of his touch and I knew that if anyone was going to understand me as Jerrod ever, it was going to be the man I fell in love with forever ago.

Without even thinking, I leaned up and softly kissed Garth, pulling away before he drug me straight back in. His lips moved against mine as if there was a passion that had been locked up for months now and I wrapped my arms around his neck, climbing over into his lap. My brain was working on a pure connection that I felt with the man in front of me and even though Jenine was urging me to move away from him, I just couldn't. I had to be with this man in front of me, no matter what she said. This was what Jerrod wanted, not Jenine, but I was the one in control right now, not her. She could worry about her life later because this was my time... and I was going to do with it what I pleased, even if she had feelings for Lukas.

Description
Chapter Three

“Hello, beautiful,” the man in front of me said and I dropped my clutch on the concrete, my eyes wide as tears welled up in my eyes.

“G-Garth,” I choked out, frozen in place for only a moment before I rushed back down to my apartment three doors down, fumbling for my keys so I could unlock the door and run away to the safety of my room.

My keys hit the ground due to my hands shaking before I heard footsteps behind me. As I went to pick them up, the man I hadn't seen in months spoke to me even though I didn't want to hear a word he had to say.

“Jen...” he said softly as if he couldn't find the words before he held out the clutch to me.

I took it from his hands, trying to hold back the tears burning in my eyes as my whole body shook.

“Why did it have to be you? What are the chances that I'd run into you?” I questioned out loud, not looking at him. If I had known I'd run into him, I would have never accepted Ms. Tanyard's offer.

“I'm sorry,” he said and finally, my gaze met his silver-blue eyes.

My grip tightened on my keys and clutch before I said, “For what? I already heard enough of your apologies for what you did to me.”

“I didn't want us to meet like this again, but Ma insisted that I get out of the house and she trusted you, and she kept bringing up the names Jerrod and Jenine as if you were two separate people. I-I wanted to make up everything to you for what I did and figured this may have been my only chance; I understand if you don't want to be around me,” he said, sincerity lacing his tone.

I wiped the tears from my eyes as Jerrod continued to scream in the back of my mind. I chewed at my lip for a moment, weighing my options before saying, “I made your mother a promise. I'm going to uphold it for her, but this is your only chance, Garth. If you prove to me that you've changed, then maybe I won't feel like I have to keep you as far away as possible from Jerrod and I.”

He nodded his head, understanding what I meant and I sighed, “Good, then how about I keep that promise I made?”

---

It didn't take me long to drive to a diner just on the outskirts of Cambridge. We awkwardly sat in silence, only speaking to the waitress when she took our drink and food orders. Honestly, I didn't know where else to take Garth since I didn't get out much due to school.

As I twiddled my thumbs, Garth cleared his throat before he said, “So, how have you been lately? It's been quite a while since we've seen each other.”

I glanced up at him and said, “Busy; between school, selling Avon for money, and trying to socialize with my friends, I barely have time to think.”

He chuckled softly, saying, “It's a good thing you've made some friends around here; I know you only had a couple in your hometown. I have to ask though, does anyone know around here? As I mentioned earlier, Ma always refer to you as two separate people.”

I swallowed, looking down, “No. No one does. I-I can't tell anyone because no one would want to be around me if they knew. I have to keep Jerrod and I separate.”

Garth sighed softly, folding his hands on the table as he said, “I don't think that, Jen.”

“You don't know that though. If... If you knew what I dealt with after we stopped being together, then you'd understand on why I insist on keeping this a secret like I do. It's easier to live two separate lives; I can be who I want to be when I want to be. Like today, I wanted to be Jenine, that's why I came out of my apartment as who I am today,” I said, gripping my hands into fists under the table before he glanced a way, humming as if he was contemplating.

“You're right, I don't know what you dealt with. I don't know why you ran away so early like you did, but I'm not going to ask you why; if you want to tell me, you will,” he said softly, his eyes meeting mine again before I sighed.

The waitress sat our food in front of us and topped off my drink before I picked up my silverware, staring at the steak in front of me. I cut off a small piece before taking a bite of it, enjoying the taste. I guess parts of Jerrod show through Jenine's persona when it comes to food.

“So, have you been seeing anyone lately?” Garth said, taking a bite of his food and looking up at me in curiosity.

“Uh... Kind of? There's a guy I go to school with and he's a part of my friend group. He's nice and I think he's cute, but we're just friends kind of right now. I don't really know his opinion on me, but he seems interested in me,” I muttered, taking another bite of the steak before Garth's eyes cast down to the table for just a moment.

“Well, which side is he interested in?”

I didn't respond immediately since I knew that he probably already knew which side it was. Most of my friends already knew that Jerrod was gay, and they didn't seem to mind it, but Jenine was perfectly straight, probably a reason why I insisted on pursuing a relationship with Lukas while Jerrod kept telling me to stay as far away from him as possible.

Instead of giving an answer, I avoided the question completely. “What are you doing back in Cambridge? You never did tell me that you were from here,” I asked.

“A lot of things happened after you left. I-I missed you to be honest, but I was still seeing...” He paused for a second before continuing, “We didn't stay together long though. He found out that I still had feelings for you, that I was trying to change myself for you, and he didn't like that at all. We, um, we broke up right after you left and I found comfort in an old pastime of mine that you never knew about...”

He chewed at his lip as I glanced up at him in curiosity, raising an eyebrow, “Which was?”

“Liquor, wine, beer, whichever you prefer when it comes to alcohol. I had a stint in rehab and when I just couldn't commit to the program, I checked myself out and ran as far away as possible. To be honest, I didn't know you were going to end up in Cambridge, but if I had known sooner, I probably would have came and asked for you back,” he said softly, and I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. From the way I was understanding his words, it sounded like he was an alcoholic, but from what I remembered, he only drank wine around me once or twice in the span of our relationship.

There was a pause in our conversation as I bit my lip before saying, “W-Why did you never bring that up to me?”

“I didn't think it was important,” he said brushing it off, “I thought I could keep it in control since I was only drinking every once in a while. It was hard though; I went back to some old ways after you left and there's still some habits that I'm trying to break today.”

I shook my head, looking away from him, not saying anything before returning back to the food in front of me. Thoughts were running around my head as I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He said that he had changed, but in what ways? How many secrets had he been keeping from me the whole time were dating, and who was the say that he wouldn't quit keeping secrets from me. He knew that this was his only chance, but what if I ended up falling for him again.

“Not you, Jenine. Me. I still love him and I'd take him back in less than a heartbeat,” Jerrod said softly in my mind and I bit down on my lip.

---

Garth and I rode around the streets of Cambridge, making our way into Boston for a little bit just to look around. Throughout the day, I was growing more and more comfortable to be around him and only for a moment, it felt like we were back in my hometown over a year ago, hanging out in the city and just enjoying ourselves.

We stopped at a few shopping centers and he picked out a couple outfits for me, offering to pay even though I insisted that he didn't. As we stood up at the counter, he handed his card over to the cashier without even giving me a chance to get out mine. After a moment, the cashier handed the bags over to me and I glanced over at him as we were walking out of the store.

“You really didn't have to do that,” I said softly.

“Hey, you're the one living two lives and I figured that, that can't be too cheap to keep up. Besides, I don't mind treating you; I used to do it all the time. You need to save your money anyways because I remember when I was going to college, it wasn't cheap,” he chuckled softly, taking a sip of the coffee in his hands and I felt my face burn bright for only a moment.

It was true, he used to treat me all the time, but then again, he had a high position in human resources at a big company in town. I had no idea if he was even working at the moment, but then again, I hadn't dared to ask him.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” He said, glancing over at me as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I said softly as we made our way back to my car.

“I don't want to ask too much of you, but when we head back to the apartments, can I see Jerrod for a bit? I know you probably don't want to let him out at the moment since we're out in public, but I know that Jenine is a completely different person than from what I remember her as. I just want to see the other side and see if there's any difference than him now,” he said softly, glancing away as he spoke, his attention turning back to his coffee.

“I'll let him. I mean, you've got comfortable around him; who is to say that I won't be?” Jerrod said softly and slowly I nodded my head.

“Yeah, he's okay with that.”

“Good,” Garth said, smiling.

---

I unlocked the door to my apartment, glancing at the sun setting in the distance. Honestly, I had lost track of time throughout the day. The older man stood behind me as he seemed kind of excited, but I didn't say anything about it.

As the two of us walked into my apartment, I gestured over to the small love-seat I had sitting in the living room before saying, “Make yourself comfortable; I'll be back in a few.”

I walked down the hall, carrying my clutch and the bag of clothes with me as I made my way into Jenine's room. I flicked on the light, glancing over at myself in the mirror as I could feel Jerrod's nerves creeping out as his personality was slowly taking over. My hands shook slightly as I went to remove my wig, grabbing a wipe and slowly taking off the makeup that I had carefully done earlier.

As I finished taking off the whole outfit, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt before checking my hair in the mirror. I ran a brush quickly through it, taking notice that it was as unkempt as ever and I muttered to myself, “Why did I agree to this?”

“I asked you and you said that you'd be okay with seeing him; just don't fall in love with him right away, Jerrod,” Jenine teased and I rolled my eyes before exiting the room, walking slowly back into the living area.

I stopped by the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip out of it before walking into the living area and Garth's eyes lit up the moment that he saw me. He ran a hand through his dark hair, sitting up on the couch before standing up and saying, “It's been forever since I've seen you, Jerrod.”

I laughed softly before saying, “Not entirely, you saw me just a few minutes ago.”

Garth shook his head before asking, “C-Can I give you a hug?”

Instantly, my face fired up in a blush. I didn't know what kind of intentions Garth had when he said he wanted to see me again, but slowly, I nodded my head, realizing that I really wanted him to hold me once again like he used to. Even though I really had just seen him through Jenine's eyes, it had felt like it had been a long, long time since I had seen the man standing in front of me... and I really, truly missed him.

“Y-Yeah,” I said, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight to him as I could hear his heart beating in his chest. It took me a moment to return the gesture, taking in the scent of his clothing before I rested my head against his shoulder. Tears were slowly welling up in my eyes and I tried to wipe them away without him noticing, but I failed as he just shushed me quietly in a comforting way.

“It's okay. I'm here. I'm not leaving,” he said softly, holding me a tad bit tighter as I let the tears loose. I didn't really know what had came over me, but this was the most naked that I had ever felt since moving here. No one knew who I really was, only him. He was the only one that I had trusted enough to see both sides of me in months and I was just overcome with emotion that I didn't know how to take it.

“Yep. You're definitely still in love with him,” Jenine sighed from the back of my mind and I shooed her away, trying to take in what was going on currently.

Garth finally let go of me before I glanced up at him with teary eyes, wiping them away with the back of my hand before muttering out a small, “Sorry.”

He shook his head, saying softly, “You don't after to apologize for being emotional. I know that's how you've always been, Jer.”

I nodded my head softly, walking over to the couch before taking a seat and he sat down beside me, a small smile on his face. I wiped my eyes once again, grabbing a tissue from the box on the coffee table before he said, “Well, I got Jenine's side of things, so it's only fair to get yours. How have you been doing?”

“I-I've been okay. As she said earlier, it's been busy around here. I'm working on getting my degree and unless I'm out of the house, I'm usually studying for exams or doing homework. I got out with my friends sometimes, but they're about as busy as I am. I help your mom out when I can and I spend a lot of time with Ju-Ju also since she's always wandering around my apartment as some point or another,” I said, glancing down at the open textbook I had sitting on the coffee table.

He chuckled softly, “You've always been busy with schoolwork. I remember how you were in high school; if you had the test the next day and you were hanging out at my house, you had your nose buried in your book trying to take in all the information you could.”

I let out a weak laugh before saying, “Yeah, Mom and Dad were always serious about me keeping my grades high. At least I don't have them harassing me every day about it anymore...” I stopped my sentence, knowing that he was probably going to ask me how they were doing, but in a sense, I was hoping that he wouldn't.

“I assume that you still are though?” He asked and I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

“Y-Yeah. I've got high grades in all of my classes currently. I hate the amount of essays I've been having to do, but it's been worth working towards my degree. I'd love to be able to make something of my life,” I muttered, glancing over to the other side of the room before looking over at him again.

He nodded his head before he said, “So, since I'm talking to you right now, can you explain to me a little better why you're living two lives?”

I sighed softly before saying, “Something happened back home after we broke up. I-I don't want to go into detail too much, but it caused something to change in me. I-I-I really don't want to sound crazy when I explain this because in my head it seems like it'd be so hard for other people to understand it.”

He shook his head, putting a hand on my shoulder before saying it, “I'll try my best to understand, Jer.”

“Well, I was one person until it happened. I was Jerrod and only Jerrod unless I wanted Jenine to be out. Now, it's different... There's the two of us living in my head, which is why our personalities are so different; Jenine is outgoing, wants to have fun, and I'm still an introvert like I was before. I try to put myself out there, but it's so hard and I'm pretty sure I have depression, but I've never went to a doctor to find out. That being said, I always hear Jenine when I'm Jerrod and Jenine always hears me when I'm trapped in her head. I can switch between the personalities pretty easily because we share the same body and we know that each one of us have similar, but different lives, but sometimes I don't understand why it's like this... It wasn't like this before...” I struggled to get the words out as I spoke them for the first time ever, trying to explain why I knew I had to keep my lives separate because Jenine and I just weren't the same person, among other reasons in my past.

Garth looked as if he were taking in the information slowly before saying, “Well, maybe it's just something you're not meant to understand. Like I told Jenine earlier, I won't ask what happened unless you want to tell me. That being said, it's all up to you.”

I took a sip of the bottle of water before nodding my head and saying, “I might eventually, but I haven't told anyone to be honest. No one knows me around here so I guess that's why I'm able to live the way that I do so easily. It would be different if I was back home, I'm certain.”

He hummed in agreement before placing a hand on my back, rubbing it gently before he said, “Not the change the subject so easily, but Jenine told me earlier that I had one chance to prove to you that I had changed, and I have to ask; do you think I have?”

“You're different, but it's different in a good way. I wasn't expecting you to tell us earlier about how you've been to rehab and had an issue that you never told me about, but I think we could give you a few more chances. I... The only thing I ask for you to do though is to not hurt me like you did again. After you left, I just didn't know what to do. I missed you... Hell, I still miss you most days, and I'll admit to that, but what you did really hurt me a lot. I hope you know that, Garth,” I said, looking up at him as tears welled up in my eyes again, remembering that day I walked into his house.

“I know, and I've been wanting to make it up to you after all this time, but I didn't know when my chance would be. I knew that you had skipped town and I thought my chances of running into you again were next to none,” he said and I glanced over at him.

“Well, I'm glad I got to see you again. Like you said, it feels like it's been forever.”

He laughed softly and said, “That it has.”

I glanced over at the clock on the wall, noticing that the sun had finally set and the outside of the apartment was shrouded in darkness. I checked my phone, seeing that I had a couple of text messages, but I sat the phone down on the coffee table, leaning back in my seat. Garth's eyes watched over at me, as he reached over, running his fingers through my unkempt hair. I leaned into the touch without thinking before moving a little bit closer to him, listening to the warning that Jenine gave me in the back of my mind.

“Are you sure you want to do this? What if he does hurt you again?”

I waved her away once again, enjoying his warmth, the gentleness of his touch and I knew that if anyone was going to understand me as Jerrod ever, it was going to be the man I fell in love with forever ago.

Without even thinking, I leaned up and softly kissed Garth, pulling away before he drug me straight back in. His lips moved against mine as if there was a passion that had been locked up for months now and I wrapped my arms around his neck, climbing over into his lap. My brain was working on a pure connection that I felt with the man in front of me and even though Jenine was urging me to move away from him, I just couldn't. I had to be with this man in front of me, no matter what she said. This was what Jerrod wanted, not Jenine, but I was the one in control right now, not her. She could worry about her life later because this was my time... and I was going to do with it what I pleased, even if she had feelings for Lukas.