Comments: 8
Medoriko [2014-06-29 16:02:39 +0000 UTC]
Critique from PowerfulWriting
I like the meaning behind this poem, as I often like to question human nature myself. I think that it was a smart idea to break the stanzas up in the way you did, and end each one with a fundamental question that relates back to the other parts of that particular stanza. I also feel this poem has a very strong impact to the reader and can really get the reader thinking.
The only thing I can say in terms of a criticism is the use of capital letters for majority of every line minus a few. While I know why you didn't capitalize the lines you didn't, visually it still looks unusual for the stanza to start off with all starting capital words and then ends in all lowercase.
Other than that, I can't honestly find anything at fault in this poem and I think you did a great job!
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kaiteaidea In reply to Medoriko [2014-11-21 01:23:00 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for the critique, it's greatly appreciated. I, for the most part, post my writings via my phone since I tend to "write" them there in I guess what could be described as "raw".
BTW, sorry for the omg late response to this post...I've had DA, and my writing on the back burner.
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MissStory [2013-08-19 16:40:15 +0000 UTC]
I can see what you're trying to convey in this poem. Many have a routine of lying and all manner of sins, and they may say they feel remorse and sadness but then why are some of us unwilling to change?
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Silencedbook9 [2013-08-18 17:03:42 +0000 UTC]
Need a hug?
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kaiteaidea In reply to Silencedbook9 [2013-08-18 18:33:07 +0000 UTC]
i'm good, i wrote that a few weeks ago, just finally got on my ass, and posted it XD
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Silencedbook9 In reply to kaiteaidea [2013-08-18 18:35:04 +0000 UTC]
But when you do need a hug, please call me!
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