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kaiteaidea — routine
Published: 2013-08-15 18:24:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 294; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description
Blank words,Empty meanings,
Cold sentiments,
Routine actions,
Fake smiles,
is anything real
in this complacent world?
Twisted views,
Tainted ideas,
Cruel intent,
True lies,
Lost values,
are there any truths
in the thoughts of virtues?
Fleeting times,
lost memories,
fading emotions,
forgotten promises,
regretted actions,
is anything real
in the moments in life?
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Comments: 8
Critique from PowerfulWriting
I like the meaning behind this poem, as I often like to question human nature myself. I think that it was a smart idea to break the stanzas up in the way you did, and end each one with a fundamental question that relates back to the other parts of that particular stanza. I also feel this poem has a very strong impact to the reader and can really get the reader thinking.
The only thing I can say in terms of a criticism is the use of capital letters for majority of every line minus a few. While I know why you didn't capitalize the lines you didn't, visually it still looks unusual for the stanza to start off with all starting capital words and then ends in all lowercase.
Other than that, I can't honestly find anything at fault in this poem and I think you did a great job!
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Thank you for the critique, it's greatly appreciated. I, for the most part, post my writings via my phone since I tend to "write" them there in I guess what could be described as "raw".
BTW, sorry for the omg late response to this post...I've had DA, and my writing on the back burner.
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I can see what you're trying to convey in this poem. Many have a routine of lying and all manner of sins, and they may say they feel remorse and sadness but then why are some of us unwilling to change?
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i'm good, i wrote that a few weeks ago, just finally got on my ass, and posted it XD
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But when you do need a hug, please call me!
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