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Description
I can't concentrate on this shit anymore.
The words all jumble and my brain, it likes to mumble, Dayna go back to sleep.
But I can't go back to sleep.
I need more coffee and maybe a shot of whiskey.
I'm not an alcoholic but sitting here is making me one.
I won't drop out, but I can't keep listening to this shit anymore.
Chemistry, you used to be my lover, but you are cheating on my happiness the way I've never cheated on your tests.
Kb ka k-kill me. I can't calculate the log of this situation anymore.
I wanna write. Or draw, or paint.
But you are trying to keep me tangled up in a topic about to be lost to me.
I'm not as smart as you give me credit for,
But I'm smart enough to know that I can't keep fighting to learn things that make my brain shut down.
There is a lack of math, and I can derive from my time here,
That that time is wasted on me.
My strong points involve a lack of sleep, too much coffee, and a creative mind.
There is nothing left to create in chemistry. Everything is already made, or on the verge of being made.
I want to change the world, but I can't do that here.
I'll join the peace corps, and volunteer my life away to malaria before I take another step into this field.
But I am not leaving my home.
When I was younger, I was yanked and pulled and prodded and raped both figuratively and literally of my life.
I've made roots here, and my branches reach up towards the sun in ways they have never done before.
If I keep getting up rooted, this tree, will die.
And maybe not in an actual sense, but in a mental sense
Because I, can't keep being taken away from things I love.
You want me boxed in a lab with chemicals rather than people
And if not boxed there, you want me boxed at home
I can't live at your home when I found my own home seven hours away
I know you think I'm stupid for listening to my heart
When I have a beautiful mind
But I need to share this with the world and my thoughts do not belong in the worlds you want me to occupy
You tell me not to listen to my heart because it will lead me astray,
But this is my decision
And if I don't follow my heart, I will regret every decision I make after this for the rest of my life
and while My heart may lead me astray, I am willing to listen instead of just shutting down and being your perfect little robot
You once told me that I can't love, and I never will love, and that was okay because that is me
That is not me
I love the wind in my hair, the breathes I lose going uphill
I love the irritation, the fight, the thrill of the job
I love laughing, and crying and while sometimes I can't say it,
I love
The fact of the matter is that I do love, and I love often, and true and ripping me away from all of this will just break my heart
And maybe my choices are wrong, but the fact is, they are my choices
If I never make mistakes, I'll never live
I'm in the prime of my life, and I don't want to miss a single minute of it simply because you deny me my choices
So let it go, let me go, and let me decide
Because like you always say, at the end of the night
This is my life, whether I regret or not, and my life demands to be lived

Description
I can't concentrate on this shit anymore.
The words all jumble and my brain, it likes to mumble, Dayna go back to sleep.
But I can't go back to sleep.
I need more coffee and maybe a shot of whiskey.
I'm not an alcoholic but sitting here is making me one.
I won't drop out, but I can't keep listening to this shit anymore.
Chemistry, you used to be my lover, but you are cheating on my happiness the way I've never cheated on your tests.
Kb ka k-kill me. I can't calculate the log of this situation anymore.
I wanna write. Or draw, or paint.
But you are trying to keep me tangled up in a topic about to be lost to me.
I'm not as smart as you give me credit for,
But I'm smart enough to know that I can't keep fighting to learn things that make my brain shut down.
There is a lack of math, and I can derive from my time here,
That that time is wasted on me.
My strong points involve a lack of sleep, too much coffee, and a creative mind.
There is nothing left to create in chemistry. Everything is already made, or on the verge of being made.
I want to change the world, but I can't do that here.
I'll join the peace corps, and volunteer my life away to malaria before I take another step into this field.
But I am not leaving my home.
When I was younger, I was yanked and pulled and prodded and raped both figuratively and literally of my life.
I've made roots here, and my branches reach up towards the sun in ways they have never done before.
If I keep getting up rooted, this tree, will die.
And maybe not in an actual sense, but in a mental sense
Because I, can't keep being taken away from things I love.
You want me boxed in a lab with chemicals rather than people
And if not boxed there, you want me boxed at home
I can't live at your home when I found my own home seven hours away
I know you think I'm stupid for listening to my heart
When I have a beautiful mind
But I need to share this with the world and my thoughts do not belong in the worlds you want me to occupy
You tell me not to listen to my heart because it will lead me astray,
But this is my decision
And if I don't follow my heart, I will regret every decision I make after this for the rest of my life
and while My heart may lead me astray, I am willing to listen instead of just shutting down and being your perfect little robot
You once told me that I can't love, and I never will love, and that was okay because that is me
That is not me
I love the wind in my hair, the breathes I lose going uphill
I love the irritation, the fight, the thrill of the job
I love laughing, and crying and while sometimes I can't say it,
I love
The fact of the matter is that I do love, and I love often, and true and ripping me away from all of this will just break my heart
And maybe my choices are wrong, but the fact is, they are my choices
If I never make mistakes, I'll never live
I'm in the prime of my life, and I don't want to miss a single minute of it simply because you deny me my choices
So let it go, let me go, and let me decide
Because like you always say, at the end of the night
This is my life, whether I regret or not, and my life demands to be lived