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Description
their relationship is a hard one

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I don't usually add a lot of commentary to my drawings, but I wanted to add some background info for this + talk about my ocs more.
warning though, the description includes talk of homophobia and suicide, just thought I'd give a heads up.

Brian (left) has dealt with internalized homophobia nearly all his life, stemming from how he was raised and specific childhood memories. his lifelong childhood friend came out as gay when the two were near the end of their first year of highschool, and was sent away to a conversion camp. (his friend had been 'out' for about a month before being sent away, and the two ended up secretly dating for a short time span.) while his friend did eventually come back towards the beginning of the next school year, he had almost completely changed. his friend ignored him at all costs, and when he did finally get to talk to him, it just seemed like brian was making things worse without even meaning to. within a week of his friend being back he left a second time, brian never hearing from him again after that. within a week of that there were rumors of a sophomore student shooting himself and stories of it in the news, but brian refused to believe that it had been his friend. he fell into a depressed rut for the rest of his highschool years, staying almost completely secluded and avoiding making friends at all or even opening up to anyone. at 18 brian ran away from home, and into his 20s he ended up becoming an alcoholic. he repressed his feelings/problems a lot, never really seeking help in fear of possible discrimination. he continues to use drinking as a crutch and lives a 'party' sort of lifestyle for 2-4 years, until he finally meets Sebastian.

Sebastian (right) spent most of his childhood out at sea (or just near it) with his father, who was an overall accepting man and knew his son was gay before sebastian had even acknowledged it himself. As he was hitting his early 20s, his father "retired" from his life at sea, and sebastian set out for an actual job. he ended up working at an amusement park and specifically operated/maintained pirate-themed rides there. (he sticks with this job for years, happy with what he does and how close it's located to where his dad lives.)

Along comes brian one day, following behind a group of newfound friends who are attempting to get him out the house, unfortunately while he's far from sober. hours later at some point brian ends up venturing away from the group, not completely there (in his head), and ends up trying to get on the ride sebastian maintains- as the amusement park is closing. his friends assumed he had gone back home while the group was preoccupied (as he'd done that in the past), and had just continued on without him. sebastian waited with brian in hopes of his friends coming back for him, but they were long gone by that point. taking compassion in him, sebastian offered to allow him to spend the night at his place, not really offering but more so telling brian that since no one else was there to care for him that he would. while brian's kind of asocial and hides his feelings when sober, he's very much the opposite when completely drunk- the entire time sebastian waited with him at the amusement park and even on the drive home, brian kept attempting to flirt with him. (while sebastian appreciated it to an extent, there was no way he was going to take advantage of a guy who was that drunk. a guy he barely knew, for that matter.) brian passed out on sebastian's couch and awoke the next day in a cold sweat, suffering from a hangover and terrified that he was in a house he didn't recognize. after confirming with sebastian that nothing had happened between the two last night, sebastian questioned him about some of the things he had said the night before, did he mean it, was he really gay, was he just completely drunk, practically going down an entire list. the questions finally got to brian and, never having done so before, broke down crying and spilled his guts about everything.

sebastian did his best to be there for this literal stranger in his home, already considering him a friend. the two ended up talking for hours, about the past, about the future, about what they wanted in life, about who they wanted to be. brian left that night with a weight still on his chest, but much lighter than it had been in a long time. over time the two ended up dating, but sebastian still noticed something. whenever the two went on dates or were simply together, brian's breath still always reeked of alcohol. he knew of brian's past, but he thought they were over that, he thought he had helped him. sebastian knew what all brian had gone through, but he didn't understand just how deep it all was.

the two struggle a lot, and even break things off once (or twice, still working on that). both times (if more than once) were decided on a whim of strong emotions, with brian likely being the main person causing it.

in the future, brian reaches out for help relating to his past issues (it's found out that he had ptsd), overcomes his internal feelings and even slowly overcomes his alcohol addiction with sebastian at his side. but for the time being, stuff is just rough for them

---

this drawing was started in ms paint + finished in firealpaca

Description
their relationship is a hard one

---

I don't usually add a lot of commentary to my drawings, but I wanted to add some background info for this + talk about my ocs more.
warning though, the description includes talk of homophobia and suicide, just thought I'd give a heads up.

Brian (left) has dealt with internalized homophobia nearly all his life, stemming from how he was raised and specific childhood memories. his lifelong childhood friend came out as gay when the two were near the end of their first year of highschool, and was sent away to a conversion camp. (his friend had been 'out' for about a month before being sent away, and the two ended up secretly dating for a short time span.) while his friend did eventually come back towards the beginning of the next school year, he had almost completely changed. his friend ignored him at all costs, and when he did finally get to talk to him, it just seemed like brian was making things worse without even meaning to. within a week of his friend being back he left a second time, brian never hearing from him again after that. within a week of that there were rumors of a sophomore student shooting himself and stories of it in the news, but brian refused to believe that it had been his friend. he fell into a depressed rut for the rest of his highschool years, staying almost completely secluded and avoiding making friends at all or even opening up to anyone. at 18 brian ran away from home, and into his 20s he ended up becoming an alcoholic. he repressed his feelings/problems a lot, never really seeking help in fear of possible discrimination. he continues to use drinking as a crutch and lives a 'party' sort of lifestyle for 2-4 years, until he finally meets Sebastian.

Sebastian (right) spent most of his childhood out at sea (or just near it) with his father, who was an overall accepting man and knew his son was gay before sebastian had even acknowledged it himself. As he was hitting his early 20s, his father "retired" from his life at sea, and sebastian set out for an actual job. he ended up working at an amusement park and specifically operated/maintained pirate-themed rides there. (he sticks with this job for years, happy with what he does and how close it's located to where his dad lives.)

Along comes brian one day, following behind a group of newfound friends who are attempting to get him out the house, unfortunately while he's far from sober. hours later at some point brian ends up venturing away from the group, not completely there (in his head), and ends up trying to get on the ride sebastian maintains- as the amusement park is closing. his friends assumed he had gone back home while the group was preoccupied (as he'd done that in the past), and had just continued on without him. sebastian waited with brian in hopes of his friends coming back for him, but they were long gone by that point. taking compassion in him, sebastian offered to allow him to spend the night at his place, not really offering but more so telling brian that since no one else was there to care for him that he would. while brian's kind of asocial and hides his feelings when sober, he's very much the opposite when completely drunk- the entire time sebastian waited with him at the amusement park and even on the drive home, brian kept attempting to flirt with him. (while sebastian appreciated it to an extent, there was no way he was going to take advantage of a guy who was that drunk. a guy he barely knew, for that matter.) brian passed out on sebastian's couch and awoke the next day in a cold sweat, suffering from a hangover and terrified that he was in a house he didn't recognize. after confirming with sebastian that nothing had happened between the two last night, sebastian questioned him about some of the things he had said the night before, did he mean it, was he really gay, was he just completely drunk, practically going down an entire list. the questions finally got to brian and, never having done so before, broke down crying and spilled his guts about everything.

sebastian did his best to be there for this literal stranger in his home, already considering him a friend. the two ended up talking for hours, about the past, about the future, about what they wanted in life, about who they wanted to be. brian left that night with a weight still on his chest, but much lighter than it had been in a long time. over time the two ended up dating, but sebastian still noticed something. whenever the two went on dates or were simply together, brian's breath still always reeked of alcohol. he knew of brian's past, but he thought they were over that, he thought he had helped him. sebastian knew what all brian had gone through, but he didn't understand just how deep it all was.

the two struggle a lot, and even break things off once (or twice, still working on that). both times (if more than once) were decided on a whim of strong emotions, with brian likely being the main person causing it.

in the future, brian reaches out for help relating to his past issues (it's found out that he had ptsd), overcomes his internal feelings and even slowly overcomes his alcohol addiction with sebastian at his side. but for the time being, stuff is just rough for them

---

this drawing was started in ms paint + finished in firealpaca