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Description
Chorus:

Early in life I viewed a premonition
It showed me difficulty and confusion
No real clear definition
A blank and empty feelin

I learned a future of near loneliness
Never to know happiness
Teased with compassion and love
Only to have it taken away in the most bitter way

Song:

People see my slim physique
And tend to question a look into my past
Some I give, but the truth is though
Alot of it I never wanted anybody to know

Like how I tell my sister
To quit acting hyper
But back then, I was worse then her
With the LRC and IAP--it wasn't a pretty picture

You add that
To the fact that I was really fat
It caused many years
Where I would run home in tears

Growin up people seen and dissed me
But still tried to use me
I let them, and I wound up both
Physically and mentally abused

At times the blatant bullying
Was simply terrifying
I wanted help, but there was no way to alleviate
Or relieve

The unbearable amounts of pain
Enduring it should have drove me insane
But I chose to last, I chose to refrain
I had to ensure my eventual gain

It didn't help with dear mom never there for me
Because early on I could see
That she wasn't going to care for me
I felt like a leech, like a flea

All of this made me hungry
I desperately
Needed a solution
A way to orcestrate a revolution

My premonition made a change doubtful
But anything is possible
While nothing is impossible
It still seemed grim

Chances were slim
But I still began the process
And after a while I had to digress
The change

Yet I quickly learned the more things change
The more they remain the same
Now I was better then before
But it still came the same, if not more

With every second that passed on the clock
I accepted what I had to do
Fate and destiny seemed against me
I knew

Letting them control me would get nowhere
Expecting support would lead to despair
I had to defy the predetermined
I had to rely on the unexpected

In a way, you could say I was a boy
Ahead of my time
Not yet a man
But I knew and was able to understand

The true cut throat quality of life
The second I stop fighting, it will tighten
It's grip and cut my throat
I had some good times, but always with this on my mind

Chorus:

Early in life I viewed a premonition
It showed me difficulty and confusion
No real clear definition
A blank and empty feelin

I learned a future of near loneliness
Never to know happiness
Teased with compassion and love
Only to have it taken away in the most bitter way

Song:

Those around me ask why I'm always
Reality based
Yet always carry myself
With a relatively fast pace

They respect how they rarely see
Struggle and haste
They admire how my efforts seldom
Go to waste

But they never seem to place
Clear understanding on why I must treat
Life like the turtle
And myself like the rabbit race

You know one special person asked me if it hurt
Being ostracized mostly
And only able to sympathize with a select few
I didn't answer then

But the truth is I didn't know what to do
And I never will
Still, eighteen years I've fought for what I deserve
And I have yet to observe

Validity to when they say an opportunity lost
Is another one gained
I've lost out nearly forever
And alas, things have yet to be better

But that is what I predicted
And early on expected
It's not all bad though
I have an edge

Over the sheltered everybodies
And anybodies
Who have the good life handed to them
While basically

Being unaware of the soon coming suffering
When they're forced to face up, it
Might be seen as unfair
But compared to me, what they receive is minimal

In the end though, they end up like me
Praying for god
And hiding behind a facade
Not acknowledging the dark that eats

Away at them like cancer
And makes the thought of suicide--that...much...better

Outro:

What are you gonna do after you hear this
Call me and tell me that you're sorry
Suddenly try and be my best friend
We tried that once, what makes you think

I wanna try it again
You wanted my life, so I let you in
And look what happened
Turned out just like the rest of them

Now you're dead to me
Any memory, gone, doesn't exist
I hoped with you it could change
But still......it remained the same

Description
Chorus:

Early in life I viewed a premonition
It showed me difficulty and confusion
No real clear definition
A blank and empty feelin

I learned a future of near loneliness
Never to know happiness
Teased with compassion and love
Only to have it taken away in the most bitter way

Song:

People see my slim physique
And tend to question a look into my past
Some I give, but the truth is though
Alot of it I never wanted anybody to know

Like how I tell my sister
To quit acting hyper
But back then, I was worse then her
With the LRC and IAP--it wasn't a pretty picture

You add that
To the fact that I was really fat
It caused many years
Where I would run home in tears

Growin up people seen and dissed me
But still tried to use me
I let them, and I wound up both
Physically and mentally abused

At times the blatant bullying
Was simply terrifying
I wanted help, but there was no way to alleviate
Or relieve

The unbearable amounts of pain
Enduring it should have drove me insane
But I chose to last, I chose to refrain
I had to ensure my eventual gain

It didn't help with dear mom never there for me
Because early on I could see
That she wasn't going to care for me
I felt like a leech, like a flea

All of this made me hungry
I desperately
Needed a solution
A way to orcestrate a revolution

My premonition made a change doubtful
But anything is possible
While nothing is impossible
It still seemed grim

Chances were slim
But I still began the process
And after a while I had to digress
The change

Yet I quickly learned the more things change
The more they remain the same
Now I was better then before
But it still came the same, if not more

With every second that passed on the clock
I accepted what I had to do
Fate and destiny seemed against me
I knew

Letting them control me would get nowhere
Expecting support would lead to despair
I had to defy the predetermined
I had to rely on the unexpected

In a way, you could say I was a boy
Ahead of my time
Not yet a man
But I knew and was able to understand

The true cut throat quality of life
The second I stop fighting, it will tighten
It's grip and cut my throat
I had some good times, but always with this on my mind

Chorus:

Early in life I viewed a premonition
It showed me difficulty and confusion
No real clear definition
A blank and empty feelin

I learned a future of near loneliness
Never to know happiness
Teased with compassion and love
Only to have it taken away in the most bitter way

Song:

Those around me ask why I'm always
Reality based
Yet always carry myself
With a relatively fast pace

They respect how they rarely see
Struggle and haste
They admire how my efforts seldom
Go to waste

But they never seem to place
Clear understanding on why I must treat
Life like the turtle
And myself like the rabbit race

You know one special person asked me if it hurt
Being ostracized mostly
And only able to sympathize with a select few
I didn't answer then

But the truth is I didn't know what to do
And I never will
Still, eighteen years I've fought for what I deserve
And I have yet to observe

Validity to when they say an opportunity lost
Is another one gained
I've lost out nearly forever
And alas, things have yet to be better

But that is what I predicted
And early on expected
It's not all bad though
I have an edge

Over the sheltered everybodies
And anybodies
Who have the good life handed to them
While basically

Being unaware of the soon coming suffering
When they're forced to face up, it
Might be seen as unfair
But compared to me, what they receive is minimal

In the end though, they end up like me
Praying for god
And hiding behind a facade
Not acknowledging the dark that eats

Away at them like cancer
And makes the thought of suicide--that...much...better

Outro:

What are you gonna do after you hear this
Call me and tell me that you're sorry
Suddenly try and be my best friend
We tried that once, what makes you think

I wanna try it again
You wanted my life, so I let you in
And look what happened
Turned out just like the rest of them

Now you're dead to me
Any memory, gone, doesn't exist
I hoped with you it could change
But still......it remained the same