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Rescue-Is-Possible [2010-12-23 21:19:33 +0000 UTC]

I too could have written this. I'm really sorry, ST, but don't beat yourself up over it. What happend, happend, and there's no way to go back and change it.

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XxVeroinxX [2010-12-22 17:47:05 +0000 UTC]

I could have written this.....
I think that he should have fought for you, he should have been there for you no matter what!
If you're stable or not,happy or depressed,he should have been there.

If you're officially broken up with each other,keep him in the back side of your mind..if you two meant to be together you will be.Even after 10 years.
Meanwhile-set your heart free.

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soranna [2010-12-20 13:21:32 +0000 UTC]

no, no, no

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Sulje [2010-12-20 11:21:54 +0000 UTC]

From experience:

I think you should step out, look at yourself and be honest. No thoughts like "I'm a bastard" or anything like it. Looking at who you were, how you acted, what you said and what motivated you into whatever it was you were like. Don't exaggerate.

Looking at yourself with a leveled head is better than beating yourself down based on things that were said to you by someone who hurt you. Because maybe you want to believe it's true, probably because you feel like she or he has been hurt because of you and has blamed you for it all (their share and your share) and somehow it makes perfect sense? Think again.

Seeing yourself for who you are and seeing them for who they are is equally important. Just because you love them, doesn't exclude their responsibility for how they acted toward you. Don't carry their blame and don't accept the blame that isn't yours upon yourself (unless you are able to forgive their blame too as your own short comings).

Once you've figured out that you're not as big of a jerk as she or he made you feel like, it's time to forgive (them and yourself accordingly) and move on with the support of your friends.

Love is something that will stay with you but it doesn't mean that you attach yourself to what went wrong and get frozen in time (neither allow yourself to be swallowed by negative emotions).

If my two cents is off and doesn't fit the situation you are/were in. Feel free to ignore it. If it fits, I hope it helps you.

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TailoredAngelsHorror [2010-12-20 03:20:07 +0000 UTC]

That's sad I think both might be a little true, depending on the situation. Don't feel too much guilt about it. It's over with. Just move and try to be better!

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Shelagnoa [2010-12-19 23:51:04 +0000 UTC]

That's the worst part about emotional abuse, is that the victim is manipulated to believe that they're a terrible person, whereas the abuser is infallible. Please, take some time to research and understand what emotional abuse is before brushing off the possibility that it has happened to you. Frankly, just by what you've said here, I'd suspect that it has. All your fault? Calling yourself a mentally unstable bastard? Doing both in defense of the person being accused of emotional abuse? Huge red flags, all of them.

These sites have a lot of definitions and put things in plain words, and might help you to identify the truth of the situation. In particular, this page , especially numbers 1, 4, 5 and 10, based on the information in your secret, may apply. Most likely, many of the things on that list won't describe the way things were, but there's a huge problem if even a few do.

There are tons of resources out there, and the more you know, the better you can protect yourself.

Please note me if you want to talk.

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Withallyourheart [2010-12-19 22:17:37 +0000 UTC]

I know you're in a lot of pain right now, st, but time WILL heal your heart
That's for sure!!

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Tiggo [2010-12-19 20:19:56 +0000 UTC]

i feel like this secret could be written directly at me.

but you should probably listen to your friends. or, attempt to talk it out with the person you love. let them know EXACTLY how you feel/felt. if they still treat you terribly and your friends still tell you that you're being emotionally abused, it would be for the best to move on.

before giving up, try. and then try again. c:

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blackpoppies [2010-12-19 20:07:46 +0000 UTC]

Listen to your friends!! They can probably see things far more objectively than you can.

I hope things get better for you

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