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caffee — Crimson Eyes
Published: 2003-07-24 08:23:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 72; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description
My eyes cried crimson riversBut you made them cease
You held me to your heart
And put my mind at ease
You lifted up my spirit high
And never let it down
I\'d fly high above the earth
Never to touch the ground
But now you\'re far away from me
And I have fallen hard
And you\'re not there to catch me
Now empty is my heart
My eyes cried crimson rivers
But this time you\'re not there
These things that I must face alone
This burden I must bear
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Comments: 4
I like the reflective feel of this poem...plus I thought the title was so appropriate for the emotions you are speaking of.
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awww very swweet and yes sad as well...there are some lovely lines here.
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This is a beautiful and sad poem, you write very well...
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Great job capturing the emotions. I love the imagery and it flows fairly well. One thing you should try to do is eliminate some of the words you don't need.
"You lifted up my spirit high" can be shotened to:
"You lift my spirit high"
If you go through the poem and try this with some of the other lines it may help it to flow even better. Overall I think you did a fantastic job!
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