HOME | DD

BlueshinetheKat In reply to TheUniSquirrel2 [2013-11-24 01:15:46 +0000 UTC]

I'VE SEEN THIS VIDEO. I SAW IT AND IT MADE ME CRY FOR AN HOUR.

(I see what you did there)

Heh. I'm sorry Mika....I honestly can't help it.......I wish I could stop all of this. Drown out their painful words. Drown out the voices in my head that tell me 'You aren't worth it'

But I can't

I can't stop them

I wish I could

But even I don't have control of my thoughts

Even when I'm complimented I always think they are lying and I'm a fool for trying to believe them.

That in the end they will hurt me

-----------------

I'm been dealing with this depression for a long time. I feel like a bother really.

Mika. We are a lot alike

But

I'm glad that you don't have to deal with the war that's going on in my head.

With my problem with cutting

With my suicidal thoughts

With my emotional pain

With the bullying

Because it would kill me

If I saw you go through that.

----------------

Oh boy. 

I actually forgot you would be able to see this....Heh.........

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheUniSquirrel2 In reply to BlueshinetheKat [2013-11-24 01:40:22 +0000 UTC]

It's ironic you say that; actually, I myself had a bit of a problem about two years ago, but I never made it evident to you since it was past by the time I knew you. It still bothers me, but it doesn't control me anymore. I didn't cut, but I kept quiet.

How did you start feeling like this? My problem rooted from my mother, who I do not like to talk about.

I can guess what makes you feel this way. I know, and I'm not just saying that. What I've learned is that there will be pain, you will get hurt, but that doesn't mean you have to implode and keep yourself inside. There is no reason to let people who care not know how you feel. And, ultimately, it is those who struggle that create. We see what others refuse to; we seek out the pain, dig it out from underground, nurture it back to health until love blooms. (Oh holy fuck that sounded cheesy, but hell, I'm getting emotional)

My time of struggle is over, and I plan to not take my life for granted. I want to help you as much as I can. Don't rush yourself, don't pretend you're "all better", but please don't stay stuck forever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BlueshinetheKat In reply to TheUniSquirrel2 [2013-11-24 02:07:37 +0000 UTC]

Several years of bullying and an abusive older sister. Who ,by the way, told me most of the things in the drawing.

Mika....You're really an amazing friend.....Please remember that......Now please give me your Skype if you have one so I can bother you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheUniSquirrel2 In reply to BlueshinetheKat [2013-11-24 02:10:45 +0000 UTC]

Damn, if my brother told me that kind of shit I would've beat his ass!

:T I don't have a Skype anymore.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BlueshinetheKat In reply to TheUniSquirrel2 [2013-11-24 02:14:59 +0000 UTC]

She's 21 now and still treats me like that. She's not my sister to me. She's just someone who has never been there for me.

I love my brothers though. I wouldn't be.....Well....me ....if it wasn't for them....So....I'm happy I guess.

We need to video chat. I need to show you something.

Oh and I'm somebody's husband.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0