musicobsessed [2003-10-14 00:55:45 +0000 UTC]

I'm not going to try and analyze the meaning in this, but it's amazing.

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syphix [2003-09-14 08:40:29 +0000 UTC]

i can see what u mean by you arent sure the meaning of this piece, but nonetheless, nice word choice and overall flow. as always, nice work.

keep it up

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diddioz [2003-08-26 05:06:55 +0000 UTC]

this is really nice... and interesting... makes me think they might make nice rock song lyrics...

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skantfa [2003-08-22 02:42:56 +0000 UTC]

Cool I trhink "falls open up" would sound better as just "falls open" though. Just me maybe though. Nice work. interesting

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trillian- [2003-08-21 02:04:13 +0000 UTC]

I like the contrasts too. I think its not a bad thing that you don't know what it means because it allows other people to interpret it their own way.

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poeticaftermath [2003-08-19 08:05:22 +0000 UTC]

Quite an interesting poem. I like the contrasts and the clashing of thoughts and images here. It has a very abrupt and short rhythm that goes nicely. I especially like the lines

falls open up
reverse satisfaction
only one

I like the word choice and flow of these lines. Another great poem by a great poet! I had fun talking with you tonight.

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tefernini [2003-08-18 22:49:44 +0000 UTC]

hm.. this makes me think it would be sort of lyrics, with the vocalist speaking them very quickly, in unison.. i like it

btw.. mourning doves are gorgeous birds; we used to have them right outside our house by the chimney..

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mourning-dove [2003-08-18 04:48:55 +0000 UTC]

I'm way too tired to actually understand most of this but I like the way it often contradicts itself. That is often the way the world and the human work. Everything has false faces and pretend behaviors and nothing stays the same. And I just lost my train of thought. I like this poem. I'll have to read it tomorrow though to make sense of it. have a good night dude.

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unheard-voice [2003-08-18 04:46:57 +0000 UTC]

quite happy, but then anyone privilaged enough to read your writing would be happy. your very talented

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