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AdrenaVeris — You Demon
Published: 2014-04-14 03:56:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 21355; Favourites: 452; Downloads: 144
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Description
because of a random conversation with Athyra some time ago...
(゜-゜) that is all.
p.s. I didn't draw Homura's wings because… too much work 3:
SAI ~ 3hr
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Comments: 148
CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE! NAGISA WANTS CHEESE!
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To be fair, I’M not sexual or seductive. The fan art and official art paint me that way, much like Elsa. Actually...I wouldn’t mind being in Sayaka’s outfit too much beyond tripping over the cape. Anything’s better than my mind’s abomination it calls fashion. She’s still a naive, stupid dummyhead who needs to get better, though!
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I actually agree with Sayaka here. Homucifer's design looks terrible. This is one of the reasons why I hate Homucifer (not Homura). I know this post is meant to be a joke but still. I just wish she gets redeemed in the concept movie.
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It’s supposed to be a broken heart. As a symbol of my inner cognition, it does its job. But...it’s so uncomfortable and exposed. And do you REALLY want me to be redeemed? What did Madoka do to deserve such a terrible fate? Why should she hesitate on putting me down like a mad dog? She doesn’t love me...
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. . . Yes Homura, yes she does . . .
Bit late, but I do like your in character response as it could reasonably be taken as one of the core issues that drove Homura to do what she did in Rebellion.
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You have no proof. After all, if you want me to be Homura, I can’t simply believe that Madoka could love me. I have a lot of issues. Even if I did, the truth of the matter is that she already had a chance to prove it, and she didn’t. She gave SAYAKA a choice, not me...
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lol I suppose that is something hard to see. Yet if you truly knew Madoka as well as you thought you knew, and as I think at your core you do, you would know that she forgives, and loves more deeply than perhaps anyone else. She doesn't turn away because of your issues. She loves you in spite of them. And I think she did prove it.
But I don't really understand,what do you mean, "gave Sayaka a choice?" That she let Sayaka choose whether or not her wish would play out, even though it would mean her death?
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She loves everyone. No one can be special to her. She forced me to live in an unfamiliar world where talking about her would brand me as a lunatic. She had to have known I could betray her. Sayaka was given a choice: Live, or let the boy suffer. Despite my wish being pointless in the new world, I was not given the choice to die. I would almost believe Madoka could love me back as I love her if she did, but it’s too late for that now. There were many times she could have put me out of her misery and proven her love. She had no regrets about any of her deaths or her ascension. I merely decided her suffering was unacceptable, damn how SHE felt about it. She gave Sayaka the choice because SHE is special to Madoka, not me. I protected her for a month, repeated though it was? Sayaka spent her whole life protecting Madoka. Reckless and rash, to be sure, but it’s not my choice. Madoka is the one who will choose, and her choice is obvious. And if she chooses wrong, I will correct her mistake until she chooses someone more up to the standards she deserves. Someone who she’d choose without my accursed magic forcing her to pity me...forcing her to act like my feelings are her own...
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Loving many people does not mean that they are not individually special. Did you want to forget her? Did you want to lose the memories of the one person you felt loved you unconditionally and made you feel fulfilled? And yes, I agree, she probably knew that you could betray her. She decided to help you anyway, you were that important to her, "special" one might say. Sayaka had the same choice as you, a wish to make, and to play out the consequences, so she did, just like you.
Perhaps the reason you did not die, was that perhaps there was more to your life. Perhaps Madoka, or whatever power that be, wanted to you move forward. To finally have your own life after so long of being trapped in a prison. Her last words to you were, "I don't know when, but I will see you again Homura, promise. So until then, take care of yourself." I think she wanted you to move forward. Not to forget her, but to find your own path regardless and become your own person instead of just a branch off of her. Perhaps she knew that obsessing over her might turn to something worse if you didn't find other people to value. Perhaps she wanted you to finally find your own self-worth like she did.
If dying would've been such a comfort, recall the basic truth of Mortality, "you will die, eventually" and then you would've seen Madoka. And when the time came, when you died, or came as close to it as you ever had, she did came for you. She came to bring you away with her. And you betrayed her.
She had no regrets, because she knew that what she loved, the thing that made her feel truly alive, was the ability to help people, the ability to heal. She hated being a bystander, she hated being put into a box and told to stay there. It was torture to her when someone, even if they felt it was in her best interests, tried to stop her from helping people. She had no regrets about her deaths because she was helping people. She had no regrets about her ascension because she knew that the wishes that girls throughout time untold would finally be made to be worth something, that their fates were no longer a cruel trick, that their would finally be an end to their suffering. To your suffering. An end to Sayaka's heartbreak, an end to Kyoko's veiled unhappiness, and end to Mami's crippling loneliness, and an end to the chains that forced you to watch her die (or worse) again and again and again.
Yes Sayaka is special to Madoka, that should never be denied, but you were just as special I think. You spent so long to save her, to give her the tools she needed (intentionally or not) to become the best she could, to find the one true wish that would help not only yourselves, but all Magical Girls. What suffering she might have felt would've been swept away in the ocean of the joy she had at all the good she could do. That she would no longer feel useless. She also knew, when she ascended, all that you had done, all the suffering you went through, all of it, and what did she call you.
"For all that's happened, you truly are my very best friend."
And you took that away from her. You stripped her of the thing that made her more happy than anything before. You stripped her of all the people, all the friends she'd made as a Goddess. She said that she would never be alone to assuage your fears, and that eventually you two would be together again, forever. And you took that away from her.
And as for standards, what standards? Would she really be Madoka if she didn't love anyone and want to help them. If you forced her to pick and choose who she helped, to pick and choose only people 'worthy' of her attention, would she even be the person you dedicated your life to? And I don't think your wish ever forced her to pity you. She was your friend, she looked after you before you ever made a wish. She pitied you because deep down, she could sense how much you were hurting and she couldn't stand that. She's her own person, and will make her own choices. And that includes that she loves you deeply and personally, she loves Sayaka deeply and personally. And watching you hurt someone else to help her, watching you hurt yourself to help her, because you think you or they don't deserve her love, it'll ultimately hurt her more than anything else.
One more thing. I think I know why you seem to dislike Sayaka so much. Sayaka made a wish for someone she loved, someone whose happiness she considered more important that her own, even if it made her suffer. A suffering that seemed unbearable much of the time.
Do you dislike Sayaka because she reminds you so much of yourself?
Madoka loving you is not a bad thing, nor is it bad for her to love Sayaka. It isn't about whether or not you or her deserve it, love never is. You don't have to be the villain and you don't have to make Madoka's mind up for her to try and make her happy. If you really want her to be happy, try something courageous, something that you probably are scared to do . . . be her friend. Be honest with her, apologize to her, and then let her make her own mind up. Let her choices have the weight they should, and stop making your relationship one of purposed domination. Be an honest friend to her. Then, try and be friends with other people. Find friends and people outside of Madoka who care about you. They exist, Mami would be a good start, she was your mentor to start with. Believe what Madoka believed. That, you have value as a person, as your own person apart from your relationship with her.
You can still change, you can still fix it. You just have to trust her.
------
Out of character (well, out of the conversation): sorry if this wound up being a bit long, but I do appreciate the chance to talk like this. I, like other people I'm sure, I do have strong feelings on what Homura did in Rebellion.
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The only way she could prove she loved me was to kill me long ago. She loves Sayaka, not me. I am not special to her. I don’t want her pity. I want her to be happy. I will only hurt her more, so she must kill me. Very simple logic. If she did decide to pretend to love me (and she would lie to me like that, by the way), I would have to correct that. I know what she wants—what’s good for her—better than she does...
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Hahaha Damn it Homura, You rewrite the whole universe but You couldnt get bigger boobs?
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Sounds like something Sans would say.
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Is it me or is Kyouko enjoying Sayaka wearing that demon outfit xD
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Poor, poor Homura 👿. It just goes to show that evil is always the instrument of it's own destruction. (This is why you should go back to being a good guy pls) At least Kyoko and Madoka seem happy. Love your work.
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I feel your pain, Homora XD
(I'm breaking my brain trying to come up with a way to make that demon dress for cosplay, and right now I'm feeling I'll need to glue it into place... At least Homura has magic to avoid wardrobe malfunctions XD)
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yes, that dress needs to be specially tailored... and also, it's cold.
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Yeah, it appears that Magical Girl Demons have higher cold tolerance XD
Wait, I was thinking of wearing that dress in Finland. This will not end well XD
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Finland! You'd be so cold... get a Madoka cosplayer to keep you warm then >:3
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I'm trying to talk one into it! XD She'd be perfect for a Madoka, she's tiny and cute and loves pink stuff... (Finland does have a summer, too XD)
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lolz,, so sayaka's is bigger than homura's,, well established then.
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yes, hers is indeed bigger
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Wasn't it established that Sayaka is actually the same size as Mami in an official publication?
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really? Which official source?
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((Insert Demon Dress Mami here >:3 DEM MAMMIES THO))
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that would just make Homura feel worse... ;3
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That's the point xD
plus, we get to see Mami's mammies up close
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"Let's all marry each other! That way, we can all be happy forever!"
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"I love them all~" (whispers) "But Homura is my number 1. Don't tell them I said that. I love them lots~"
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Koyoko --> my Sakarya can't b this cute (lo lolololol) Madokaa.........
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;3 Kyouko would never say that aloud to Sayaka though
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Hehhehehe what if she accidentally thought out loud?
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Sayaka would mostly like stare in shock, maybe blush a little, then... well, pounce on Kyouko ;3
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