HugoMunchmixAble93 [2024-04-03 21:03:01 +0000 UTC]

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SparkleMoon-YT [2022-03-31 00:04:43 +0000 UTC]

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jeremycards [2020-09-03 16:59:29 +0000 UTC]

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HugoMunchmixAble93 [2020-08-02 20:06:56 +0000 UTC]

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Alphawolf309 [2020-02-10 07:47:13 +0000 UTC]

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jeremycards [2019-07-25 05:20:15 +0000 UTC]

Hi Ultra, been away for a while huh? I guess i've been very busy. Just did the math, according to Deviantart you've been away for 708 weeks, wich would be around 14 years... wow, the world changed so much since you went away, you probably wouldn't understand how things are now lol. I'm 31 years old now and huh... i just realized you were 14 when you died... so right now you've spent more time dead than alive... time sure flies.

So, anyway... life's been weird as always. I think im in a relatively good place now... but things aren't very right. I started getting panic attacks and a lot of anxiety lately, i've been a little desperate about changing jobs, the one i got one is a dead end and being 31 i feel that if i don't start working on my carreer, i'll just never have one you know?, so i've been studying and such... and it's been hard... but overall i think i grew a lot as a person. I still keep my motto to never do wrong to anyone and i think i hold it up pretty well, so at least i can be proud of that. But it's hard u know? i'm 31 and i still can't get someone to love me, it's weird at this point, one would think only bad people is alone for so long... it seems forever now... i mean i lived more than twice what you did by now, and you did had boyfriends, so... i dunno, it feels like i failed somehow, and now i'm more lonely than ever, i live alone and i distanced myself from many of my close friends... the ones i loved the most went away for various strange reasons... and well, it's a long story but one girl in particular really hurted me bad... it's hard to still be good after all that, but i guess i have to find a better balance about it, and just... stop trying to be super nice all the time, that seems to be a problem and i've been understanding it more and more over the years, i get overly confident with people and give too much when i'm not asked and that just makes things bad somehow...

On more lighter news, at least my comic is doing alright! the magical girl one, i think i told you right?, it's mostly a webcomic now since the publishing of it keeps getting delayed and it will release years from now, but at least the web one is doing right, we have lots of very passionate fans! so it's been a fulfilling experience overall. But i want it to grow more... a bit of if is for attention, but more of it is because i would want to live off this, doing what i love... but that seems very far off at this moment, so i have to keep studying so i can at least get a job of something i'm good at, right now i just have an office job that's taking me nowhere and dosn't use my skills for anything.

So i guess that's all right now... it's hard to keep moving on with my life without someone to love, i'm really clinging to my mum right now, and that just dosn't feel right at this point in my life... i fear that if something happens to her i'll have nothing you know?... so well it's scary, but i got to keep moving forward.

Anyway, hope you are in peace, wherever you are, see you in a year or so! love you.

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jeremycards [2018-05-04 03:00:43 +0000 UTC]

Hey Ultra... long time no see! Man, it's been... how long since you left? its crazy to think about... i think we were 14 back then... and now im 30... more than twice that age... its so weird to think that i lived another life since then... and well, things are still hard. Im at a particularly hard moment right now, since im studying videogame development and hoping to get a job at it soon. I'm living alone now, so a lot rides on my income right now... so things are a bit stressful. 

I'm still alone, still never had a girlfriend... that seems to be the only constant in my life, huh?. To this point, its tough... it's very hurtful to think of reasons why nobody loved me, but well... at least i have other stuff on my head right now. I'm making a magical girl comic! i have no idea if you liked Magical Girls... you probably seen Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura wasn't big in the US so you probably didn't watched it... and well Madoka didn't exist back then lol, but its a really great show, i know you would have loved it.

So anyway, im making this comic book, i had to cancel my previous one... hurted a lot but it was really going nowhere. But this one is being really well taken!, there's this thing called Facebook now and you can conect and share stuff with everyone, so, i make these small comic strips about her daily life, and they are easy to share, so a lot of people gets to see her and then become fans! i do this all to promote the main comic book, wich i'm getting published! a publisher is interested and already gave me the ok, it's getting done next year. I'm so excited about this! its what keeps me going lately, im all into it! wonder what you'd think about it if you could read it.

Anyway... i've been busy lately, but i guess things are better than before, i'm afraid right now for my future, but i think i'll pull trough... i try to not be as depressive anymore, but its hard sometimes, i'm still very lonely and its hard to do so much stuff without somebody at your side... but i've became strong because of it, and i think that's helping me a lot. 

Anyway, if you are out there somewhere in another dimension or whatever, i hope you are doing fine... or at least, you are having a good rest. Maybe we'll see each other in another life? lol, love you <3 

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delSHARK [2018-03-28 22:41:18 +0000 UTC]

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zpnn [2017-11-04 17:17:29 +0000 UTC]

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jeremycards [2016-07-15 07:46:43 +0000 UTC]

Hey Ultra!, sorry i haven't been arround here lately... i guess 3 years passed since last time huh?, i haven't forgotten about you, i just... didn't feel like saying anything i guess. I've been busy... tough still, i can't say you were wrong... i worked a lot, got a good job to sustain myself, kept working on my comics big time, and started studying marketing, but i still haven't really gotten anywhere... my comics are not too popular yet, my job is just... ok, but it gets dangerous sometimes so it scares me and i want to leave it as soon as i can, and my studies are going well i guess, but i really want to start working on marketing soon and eventually going to Canada. So... i guess im a lot better than i used to, i moved too! im living on my own... its kind of sad tough, not seing anyone when i get home... i can't even have my cat here, but at least mum visits often. 

Im still alone tough, romantically i mean, i got a sort of girlfriend for 3 months like 2 years ago, but it didn't work out... i just couldn't... really love her i guess, so i had to end it. I guess i just wanted to be with her because heck, i've never had a girlfriend... but once i got to know her i noticed i wasn't really in love with her and it just felt wrong... so yeah, that happened, and then i found a girl that i really REALLY liked, and she liked me back too! so we started going out... but 3 friggin days later, she found another guy she liked better and left me... lol, worst part is, she was part of my class, so i had to see her everyday for the rest of the year... yeah that was utter torture...

But anyway... life is still tough... you were 14 when you went away, i don't think you had any idea how the life of an adult was... but i guess you had too many problems already right?... i still don't know if i'll ever be happy... its weird being an adult, nothing really makes sense or feels right, and every effort feels like a waste most of the time... im 28 right now, twice your age... that feels so weird... and you know, back when i was your age, i decided at some point that if i got to 30 years old and still never had a girlfriend or achieved any of my dreams or even moved from my country, i would kill myself... and now im really really close to that... but... i guess i won't do it, not now or ever... i mean, unless something really tragic happens that triggers me, like my family dying or maybe i go to jail because i accidentally kill a robber in self defense or something like that... but as things are now, i just don't want to trow all the effort i went trough to the trash, it feels so frustrating thinking about it! if i never achieve what i want then why the heck did i suffer a whole life of loneliness and frustration?, it feels so... anticlimatic and such..., so yeah i don't think i'll do it, even tough i think about it all the time... nothing seems right lately but im going to keep fighting till the end. I guess if i ever meet you on the other side i'll be able to tell you if in the end you were right or wrong, but for sure i'll be able to say i fought to the bitter end no matter what... that seems to be the only thing im really good at... So anyway, wherever you are, i hope you are in peace. Love ya Ultra.

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MintStarMari [2016-04-26 10:18:47 +0000 UTC]

Rest in peace

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Guzmaz [2016-04-02 00:26:57 +0000 UTC]

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moalisa [2016-01-17 13:22:43 +0000 UTC]

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gh0stby [2015-04-21 03:18:57 +0000 UTC]

hey su, thought of you today.

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ginzindragon [2015-02-19 09:19:02 +0000 UTC]

I hope your in a better place now, RIP 

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jeremycards [2013-08-18 19:01:29 +0000 UTC]

Hey Ultra, its me again. I guess im leaving a message once a year huh? Things change so much every year... this year is... well... weird. Lets see... i´ve been working at the police, pretty crazy, never really tough i would end up here. Its an administrative job, so its not such a big deal, and the police here is pretty much a joke anyway... i just want to be here a few years till i can study something else and move to another country... im aiming for Canada. So yeah, that's my dream for now i guess... besides that im making a comic finally, its going... ok i guess, but my artist is kinda unmotivated and im afraid he will end up quitting... in wich case i would lose all the effort and money i put into this... im very afraid of it really, because now its the only thing that keeps me going... i still never had a girlfriend, even after all these years... man... im almost 26... its hard to believe... i keep wondering what's so wrong about me that no girl ever likes me... supposedly im not so ugly and im not such a jerk or anything so i don't know... it still leaves giant emptiness in myself to never be able to find someone who loves me... and by the moment this project with the comic and all is the only thing that fills it a lot... im in a delicate position i think, i have a few things keeping me standing but they can go away at any moment... so... i dunno, i hope things finally get better soon... i really can't take living in this country anymore, or being alone like this... but i guess i can't quit it yet... i still hope someday i can really come and tell you that you were wrong for giving up so early... but so far it still seems you were right... i hope you are happy wherever you are, i still remember and love you, take care...

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Mevyn [2013-07-18 15:13:45 +0000 UTC]

Thinking about you. After all these years it still hurts to know you aren't here. Wherever you are I hope you found the peace you were looking for.

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RebelAtoli [2013-02-17 16:11:14 +0000 UTC]

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jeremycards [2012-08-25 14:45:00 +0000 UTC]

Hey ultra... its me again... seems i come once a year at some point... i always need it for any other reason... The world has changed a lot since you died... but you know... i always wanted to come here and tell you "its so sad you made the wrong choice steph, because life gets better, you just had to keep trying"... but i can´t... and in fact... i would tell you the exact oposite... i think you were right all along... because at least for me it never stoped getting worse and worse...

I dont know what to do anymore... at this point i just really really wish i could kill myself like you did... but i just can´t do that to my family... but everything is so horrible... every year things get worse and worse and i have no consolation at all... im 24 now... i was 14 when i met you... its been 10 years and things have only gotten worse... nobody ever loved me yet... everything i tried failed... i can´t study... i just can´t... i bet if i lived in the united states they would diagnose me with some learning disability or something, but here i just have to deal with it... i try, but its so hard to concentrate... and i dont think i will ever be able to study and finish a career no matter how hard i try...

Im making comics you know... im sort of a writer... but things never go right with the other artists, because of course, i can´t draw at all... i had to pay a ton of money to a guy to draw my comic which just decent quality, but almost nobody readed it and nobody really liked it a lot... i just dont know if this will ever work...

i wont be able to ever get a job i like at this rate... and it gets harder and harder to believe that someone will ever love me... I just feel awful... and i have to keep facing the fact that the girl i love the most in the entire world will never like me back... its a horrible horrible feeling... because now she might get a boyfriend and dealing with that tears me up inside... i dont feel like smiling ever again, im tired of faking a smile all the time for the sake of other people... im tired of suffering non-stop every single day of my life and nobody even caring about it... And that´s when i think about you... and how did you feel back then... and i can only think that you were right... and that the only thing i can do is to just... wait till my sisters and my mum don´t depend on me too much... and if possible, wait till my dad dies of old age... and then go ahead and kill myself too... but i dont know if i´ll be able to hold on that much... my dad might live longer than i expect... and it destroys me to think how he would feel if i die... its the same for mum, but she will live a lot im sure... she will probably outlive me even if i never kill myself or get into an accident or something like that... so i have no way to make that easier for her besides waiting to move out from home and let her get used of me not being arround...

Anyway... i always wonder where you are... and what happens after death... its just a black void?, and its just over with nothing else?... do you reincarnate...? or go to another plane of existance or something?... i have no clue... i hope... i hope whatever happens its just better than this... at least a little... i can´t handle this anymore... im tired of always having to do sacrifices for the people i love without getting anything in return... there´s only so much i can hold...

Anyway... i miss you a lot... and i hope wherever you are, you are doing better than me. I love you steph, see you soon.

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SaloGuardione [2012-08-12 10:52:32 +0000 UTC]

Rest In Peace Dear!

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lightbird1 [2012-08-02 22:45:03 +0000 UTC]

Rest in peace ...

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Icthii [2012-04-02 06:35:41 +0000 UTC]

Rest in Peace.

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GameMaster8229 [2011-11-16 20:34:14 +0000 UTC]

There's a petition to have Archie relinquish their licensing over making Sonic comic books and have another comic book company do it. If you want you can sign it. Click the link here [link]

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teliiii [2011-10-11 00:36:37 +0000 UTC]

R.I.P. I hope you are in a better place now...

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jeremycards [2011-09-20 21:14:28 +0000 UTC]

Hey Ultra, long time no see huh?... sorry about that, but i never forget you, i promise. So... i still wonder where you are... if you'r in a better place or maybe worse... i wonder if you can read my messages here... who knows... Truth is, i would love to be able to come here and say "Hey Ultra, you were mistaken, if you lived on things would have gotten better like they did to me". But i would be lying, life has only gotten worse for me in all these years... so maybe you made the right choice... maybe not... who knows?... but i can't take that route... at least not yet... fighting is in my spirit, i can't help it... nothing has gone right ever for me, i still never had a girlfriend, i never suceeded on any of my many many projects, im still a nobody... i barely finished high school... and im already 23 years old... almost 24!... wow... and to think you were 14 when you died... time sure goes by... But well, i'll never forget you Ultra, and i'll keep on fighting, i just hope it leads to something good eventually, or maybe i'll end up joining you. It was a shame we never got to see each other in real life huh?... but anyway, i still love you and will always remember you, hope you'r alright Ultra. See you.

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Candle-in-the-Dark [2010-10-09 07:35:21 +0000 UTC]

tons of typos there, but you get my gist. :/

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Candle-in-the-Dark [2010-10-09 07:34:07 +0000 UTC]

Poor girl. When I was in junior high I was deeply depressed. No amount of old, confused therapists telling me everything would be okay or fucked up meds my mother got be addicted to would help me.
One night, after a fight with my mother, I decided it was time- that the world would be better off without me anyways. I tiptoed into the bathroom my older brother and I shared and snuck back into my room with two bottles of maximum strength something or another, intending to swallow them all and pass away in my sleep. I stared at those bottles for what felt like years until, tears flooding my eyes, I knocked on my mother's door and told her of my intent.

What stopped me, and did not stop her? We both had people that loved us, both had friends and family that tried everything to make our lives better. In the end I guess what I was afraid of was that my death would send some of my other loved ones over the edge. Maybe she thought of that before she passed away, but it seems that too often, love is just not enough.

I'm 20 years old now, I would have been dead at 15 if I had taken those pills. By my math (which sucks by the way), Stephanie would be around 20 years old, graduating high school and just beginning life. The true reason why I asked for help instead of "just doing it" are still a mystery... I just wish I could somehow have given it to Stephanie and young, troubled kids like her.

I'm sorry, Stephanie. I hope it's better where you are. :3

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rioIu [2010-08-27 04:20:17 +0000 UTC]

Rest in peace.

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mystickirby [2010-08-18 23:11:41 +0000 UTC]

rest in peace

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jeremycards [2010-06-01 23:44:37 +0000 UTC]

hey ultra, wonder where are you now. Im making a comic u know? giving it all so i can publish it and make it the next naruto or something haha , anyway, i never forget about you. I hope you are fine wherever you are, still luv ya.

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SkyPirateDash [2010-05-30 07:15:59 +0000 UTC]

Ah, I never miss a chance to leave you a comment when I see something that reminds me of you. Miss you very much. Your comments are getting bigger too, since last i checked. I do miss talking to you and all the silly things you use to say about my characters. XD

Sonya will always say "D'AWWWWW" to Ashura doin' his thang to poor Sonic.

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queenbasil [2010-02-14 21:57:42 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry you committed suicide. I wish you hadn't. But now, I hope you are at peace.

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jeremycards [2009-12-28 19:34:40 +0000 UTC]

Hey Ultra, was checking your emails the other day, i still got em heh... from 2004. Its hard to believe its been 6 years already. Anyway not much to say... i quitted my job and now im bored. I hope you'r fine wherever you are, see you.

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XxOreoStarxX [2009-10-15 23:27:44 +0000 UTC]

I came upon this page when checking out the anti editing club


.....i am truely sorry of you're death and perhaps we'll never know what brought you to do this to yourself but
even though you died;
you are still alive;
in
our
hearts....
Rest In Peace....

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0wlity [2009-10-15 02:13:09 +0000 UTC]

Rest in peace. I am so sorry.

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Ilovegingerfish [2009-10-10 01:18:11 +0000 UTC]

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EnygmaticHarlequins [2009-09-07 19:15:49 +0000 UTC]

Blessed be
God bless
And many others dear.
RIP, I hope you have a lovely time in your Heaven, whatever it may be~

Love, RandomAmp

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BlackSakuraRose [2009-06-30 19:00:31 +0000 UTC]

I stumbled on this page from one of your pictures. I've considered suicide seriously before, but I had a small bit of childish hope that always keeps me going. I've had it since before I can remember. There are times when I wonder why it never burns out. I still don't know, even now, after so many years. I wish I could have gotten the chance to meet you and talk to you. We may have been good friends. From what I've read from the comments here, it seemed like you were deeply cared for.
You truly were a great artist, and I hope you're happy, where ever you are, may you be in heaven or reincarnated as a new person among the living. May God forever bring you and everyone who cared for you the strength and courage to defy fate and walk in this world for all time.

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Rui-Shi [2009-03-23 20:24:00 +0000 UTC]

Your memory will never die, you are soreley missed and deeply treasured.

Buddha bless xx

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jeremycards [2009-02-28 15:59:19 +0000 UTC]

hi again ultra... huh, its no wonder why you decided to take your life, im on the same road really... i... keep fighting everyday so things get better but no matter what i do... everything fails... things just get worse and worse...... i fear... than things will never get better... than strugling will just lead me to more suffering untill i finally die... i dont know what to do... i really dont want to kill myself like you did but... its like i have no other way to stop all this constant pain... no one cares... no one help me... im really lost... i dont want to do this but T_T i really need something good to happen... i can't resist my whole life like this... huh... i really dont blame you for your decition... you probably had reasons like these or worse... i just hope... than when i die i get to see you again...

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