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| PyroShadow18
PyroShadow18
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[3402860]
[2006-10-24 23:50:41 +0000 UTC]
"I live inside my head...."
(Unknown)
# Statistics
Favourites: 9509; Deviations: 2264; Watchers: 173
Watching: 318; Pageviews: 51758; Comments Made: 21296; Friends: 318
# Interests
Favorite visual artist: friendsFavorite writers: friends
Tools of the Trade: emotions
Other Interests: Writing, friends, music
# About me
my love is freemy heart is not
~~~~~
don't love me..
just don't...
love is too painful....
~~~~~
cut me..
let me bleed..
in you..
~~~
I am me. I am you.
Who are you?
Are you me? Am I you?
Something simple. Yet conscious in itself.
Who are we? Who are you?
...
Who am I?
...
~~~~~
We are obsessed..
We are obsessed with the obsession to be real.
Silent little toys, screaming with broken bones and broken air-pipes.
But we cannot hide. Even should we wish it.
Beauty. Sex. Keep breathing, so we don't break apart..
If only we could live beyond our dreams..
inside, we're crying..
~~~~~``
~~~
I hate you.
But I love you.
I hate that you love me.
And love that you hate me.
Conflicted feelings.
I hate you, but hate me more.
Smile because you're loved.
And hate because you're loved.
We hate and love.
We're addicted...
~~~~
~~~~~~
~~~
And you will one day realize, that despite the mistakes we've made, the people we've hurt, that there is always a chance to turn things around. A chance to make new friendships. And a chance, to wish those we've met, well in their happiness.
I understand that we all have different lives. And we can't always be in contact with each other. That's still okay. It makes the time we share together that much more special. Love life as much as you can. And don't give up. Even though life really is a struggle, find a way to get through it with people who love and care about you. Those are the ones who really matter.
Take care everyone. And thank you.
~Josh~
~~~~~
Take care everyone.
~Josh~
~~~~~~~
and so it was. a blanket that kept them from harm.
for they both knew that the world was painful.
prodded by unforgiving memories.
It's a blanket that I hold close to, rather tightly. So I can't get hurt. So I don't let anyone in.
Though I have, and they mean the world to me, it's hard sometimes to trust people.
And so we're miserable. Lost in an ocean of anxiety and depression, without relief.
Thoughts inside the mind can be deadly and damaging. But I think I prefer to be damaged. That way, it's okay to be hurting. I guess in a way, I think I deserve it I need it. And so I have it.
~Josh~
~~~~~~~
Borrowed from *Leomutt
Notice: To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian friends, please re-post this into your profile:
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
~~~~~
Love is something that no one needs to be afraid of.
Current Residence: inside my head. living. existing...
Favourite genre of music:: breaking benjamin
Favourite photographer: friends
Favourite style of art: dark
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: blank
Shell of choice: blank
Wallpaper of choice: dark
Skin of choice: i can barely breathe in my own...
Personal Quote: real is such a funny term... we crawl around in the dark...
# Comments
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Josh,
I just came by to wish you a belated Happy Birthday. I would have been here earlier but my cat has been missing and I just had not been concentrating yesterday.
I hope you enjoyed you Birthday!
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I'm upset I didn't say I was god or Jesus I just can kill demons I am not Jesus I don't act like him I can't bring the dead alive I can't live 40 days without. Food or water. I'm not god but I can kill demons so what this is what I'm mad about cause w my grandmother had said all those things but I'm the opposite the only thing me and god have in common is tha r I'm a demon killer
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I went to crisis center so it helped some
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Yeah i now feel that the sunlight in the car window is a laser trying to cut off your hand and fingers when I'm in the front seat I have to keep my hands in the shadow so I won't get them cut off I'm paraniod
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I hope things start to get better for you Lacey..
I wish I could help you... *hugs you*
You're not alone. I promise. *hugshugs*
You're a good person. I hope you know that.
If you lose yourself in darkness, then I hope you'll find your way back.
I'm here for you. Promise! Any time!
~J
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I talked to my therapist today and she helped me though it
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That's good!
I'm happy for you.
~J
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Take care, and have a good day tomorrow.
~J
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I can't fight the urge to cut my sister has,been fighting with her cheating husband and was suicidal at one point and now,she s living with us and her baby and she can be a bitch and um fighting my eating disorder and voices telling me to kill my sisters baby. I miss my dad and wi s h to see him more but can't cause he lives in a different state. MSN I'm depressed and I made grandma mad for using laxatives and she thinks I'm abusing them when I'm not.
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I'm really sorry that things are so bad for you right now Lacey.
I know what that's like.
*offers you a gentle hug* I know you're a good person.
And if you do cut, and you're in a very low space right now, then I hope you'll find your way back to the light.
I'll be there for you. I know it's hard. And that life really sucks sometimes. It's not fair. It's not right.
But that's just how life is sometimes.
It's okay to relapse.
We can't fight the battle all the time. And sometimes, it gets to be too much.
*hugs*
I care about you. And I hope that things will get better for you. I really do.
Take care okay. I'm here for you. Promise.
~J
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I will keep trying. Thanks
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You're welcome. *sends you a big hug*
~J
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You're welcome. 
~J
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