ElvenAngel In reply to lissygudiya [2016-10-08 12:12:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much hun!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lissygudiya In reply to ElvenAngel [2016-10-08 19:31:46 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to Syroyoga16 [2016-10-08 12:12:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Syroyoga16 In reply to ElvenAngel [2016-10-08 18:20:13 +0000 UTC]

Your very welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to DanteVergilLoverAR [2016-06-26 22:56:42 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to fighterxaos [2015-10-05 01:19:39 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to CaptainSpaceout [2015-10-05 01:19:45 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to Shahrezad [2014-10-06 18:20:42 +0000 UTC]

<3 Awww thank you sweetie!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to KakashiMorph [2014-10-06 18:20:52 +0000 UTC]

X3 thanks!! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to Petitecreme [2014-05-22 00:19:10 +0000 UTC]

Bloop Bloop~!! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to KakashiMorph [2013-10-10 18:21:04 +0000 UTC]

^_^ Oh thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to kyuzoaoi [2013-06-15 10:33:21 +0000 UTC]

Good riddance. Honestly, if you're gonna deal with a cancer, you have to cut it all out otherwise it'll just grow back.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to thebloodreaver [2012-12-27 12:44:27 +0000 UTC]

XD Sure, why not? I've read crazier crossovers. I could use a fun one.

C: in return... think you could read some of my stuff and gimme some feedback too? Even if it's off-the-top-pf-your-head comments. Give an' take deal!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thebloodreaver In reply to ElvenAngel [2012-12-27 20:03:48 +0000 UTC]

Sure. Link me to what you wanna see.

Anyway, here's my stupid little story --> [link]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ElvenAngel In reply to thebloodreaver [2012-12-28 13:10:06 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! You can pick any of the stories here => [link]
Most of them are short stories or compilations of them. The big ones are Frail Equilibrium (honestly... it's what started the ball rolling >_>) and Crossfire. You can read those whenever you feel like it, if you want. Feedback can be given any time, I put no pressure Just have fun (I hope).

Well I just finished reading what you've got so far and I think it's hilariously awesome. ^^ BTW props for writing pony fanfiction, hehe *hoofbump* I think my favorite bit so far has been the start, Bael's arrival. I can't put my finger on it, just the way you went about describing it. It was quite hilarious. ^^ I assume this is a fic meant to be read as a comedy, so I treated it as such.

One thing I do want to touch on, which I believe someone already mentioned... since this is a crossover, you probably ought to treat it as though you assume MLP fans and DMC fans have no idea about the other fandom. Even if they do, it's good to cover all your bases and do some explaining/exposition, but don't go overboard since too much exposition gets in the way of storytelling. Like... better refer to Nero by name, to be sure.

Mostly, that's the big thing I had to say (I know, I am a terrible editor, sadly ^_^; ). Other than that, bit more attention to punctuation stuff. I did see a couple of run-on sentences but nothing really glaring, just do a few extra read-throughs before posting next time and if any sentence feels even remotely hinky, read it out loud to yourself (you don't need to be really loud, even whispering works) and if it feels too long, it probably is.

Well for now that's all, but if you add more to it I'll keep reading ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thebloodreaver In reply to ElvenAngel [2012-12-28 21:57:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. I'll be sure to get on it ASAP.

BTW, there is a few reasons why i didn't explain too much about the DMC lore in the fiction, especially any more detailed descriptions of Nero (aside from his glowing arm), and that's mostly because he's more of this obstacle that sent Bael to Equestria, and not much else. His importance in the story, thus far, is nil... HOWEVER, the one thing that's constantly mentioned is his infamous glowing arm, which will stick out in the readers mind IF i do later decide to include Nero in the story (besides, when we think glowing arm in DMC, we think of Nero, so DMC fans will ALWAYS instantly recognize him). The other reason why i didn't explain much else is because those details aren't important at the time, and DMC lore (for the most part) is rather irreverent in the land of ponies and harmony. Since Bael is the only DMC character in Equestria in that story, he's the only one that should have exposition to a higher extent.

BTW, what did you think of my portrayal of Cadance and Shining?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ElvenAngel In reply to thebloodreaver [2012-12-29 02:06:53 +0000 UTC]

...the 'glowing arm' thing randomly reminds me of a small joke I was planning for a short fic where Nero is dragged into a short job that was to be between Dante and my OC Tess. He tries to talk to them while they're having one of their infamous snark battles and she bluntly tells him to take his 'glow-stick arm and stuff it because the grownups are talking'. Tess is a funny girl, I think you'll like her.

Thanks C:

Anyway I completely understand why you made that decision. However you need to consider the notion that there are people who will still question and some who will feel annoyed if they're left out of the loop. Consider changing some bits or exposition around to lessen the impact of the rest of the DMC elements on the story. Don't make such a massive deal out of Nero and his glowworm arm unless you're absolutely sure you're going to make him a proper character.

As for Cadance and Shining - I generally like what you're doing with them. The problem is that they've only shown up twice in the show and that's not really enough time to properly determine the intricacies of their character so I can't be 100% sure. So really, it's quite up to you to develop them as you feel is best and then 'sell' this interpretation to the reader.

:C I do like them, BTW, and I wish they'd get some more air-time. I'd love to see an ep where Shining nearly panics over the prospect of being a daddy or something (oh would Twilight get a laugh out of that!)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thebloodreaver In reply to ElvenAngel [2012-12-29 05:21:27 +0000 UTC]

Sounds interesting.

Also, the only reason why i mentioned Nero so much in the beginning was to set up the situation as to why Bael got his ass handed to him and how he ended up in the frozen north of Equestria instead of the underworld. And, i needed to give the reader HIS perspective on the situation. Bael doesn't know who Nero is as much as the reader would be if they weren't DMC fans, which adds a layer of mystery to this human with a faux-God Hand. On top of that, if I DO decide to bring him into the story somehow, those who don't know who Nero is will immediately recognize him for what exactly he did to Bael in the intro as soon as i mention his glowing arm.

But for now, most of it will be about Bael, and his interactions with ponies... don't worry, he won't go on a Godzilla esque rampage, and i'll have a good reason why...

Also, thanks for the input on Cadance and Shining, as minor as it is. I'll keep working on it, and make sure it's consistant with the show that set up the baseline...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ElvenAngel In reply to thebloodreaver [2012-12-29 12:51:46 +0000 UTC]

XD I almost wish he would go on a Godzilla run because that would be one of the more awesome tributes to Godzilla ever.

Ahem, but yes, I completely understand. Still, keep in mind what I said about altering exposition in places, it might help. Incidentally, I now have this mental image of Nero's reaction to Equestria and the ponies and it's crack-worthy hilarious.

C: You're welcome, friend. I'll be happy to read some more of this story whenever you update. Just let me know.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thebloodreaver In reply to ElvenAngel [2012-12-29 19:06:59 +0000 UTC]

... ya know, maybe i can do a Godzilla thing, but i have to think really hard about making it right without sacrificing the integrity of the plot I'm working with.

... also, after hearing that, i just might bring nero into the story. I'm sure his first reaction would be "DEMONS!" but after seeing them cower in fear to his appearance, i'm sure he'd realize that they aren't... also, running into Bael once again would probably make for great comedy... still, i think i'll keep his identity to non-DMC fans a secret...

BTW, did you just read chapter 1, or did you try chapter 2?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ElvenAngel In reply to thebloodreaver [2012-12-30 12:33:29 +0000 UTC]

^_^ or you can do what I do and write a one-shot about it. I find that one-shots are awesome for writing often silly plots. While I keep my regular fics close to the game's feeling, I sometimes turn my one-shots into more comedic or more dramatic, for my own writing entertainment. perhaps Pony Godzilla could be one such one-shot. I'd totally read that. C:

XD I now almost want to demand that Rainbow Dash kick his ass for scaring her friends. That'd be awesome. BUT, do not let what I say shape your story. I'm throwing random ideas around which you don't need to take 100% seriously. C: It's your idea, your story. I'm just being a critic/fan

I read both chapters ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

thebloodreaver In reply to ElvenAngel [2012-12-30 18:55:31 +0000 UTC]

I guess, but i'm no-good with one-shots... I'm trying to write one right now, but i'm afraid that i'm gonna have to separate it into two chapters... then make a third... and so on.

And thanks for the opinions and ideas. I need critical input, if i want my stories to be any good...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ElvenAngel In reply to thebloodreaver [2012-12-31 12:35:18 +0000 UTC]

The trick to writing one-shots is to resist expanding an idea that is complete in itself and letting the reader's mind do the heavy lifting. For example, my one shot "Three Days". It's all about my OC being worried about Dante having a Hell Gate closing right after he's gone through. She knows better but she's concerned. The story is just about her increasing fretting which in turn serves as a means to explain the kind of relationship she and Dante have. I could've expanded on what kinds of stuff Dante had to go through in that time, what he fought and made a whole massive plot out of it... but I didn't, because I wanted the readers to get concerned about Dante just like Tess did because she DOESN'T know what happened. By saying less, I've told you more because I've let you imagine the absolute worst (human nature is a fun thing to exploit when it comes to writing).

Try it sometime, you might be surprised how much you can tell with a shorter story C:

^_^ You're very welcome! I'm always good to read more and other stuff if you'd like and give you what little criticism I can manage. I look forward to hearing your feedback on my stuff. Like I said, no rush.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to Yurius06 [2012-12-01 15:55:07 +0000 UTC]

C:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to Aeolus06 [2012-10-04 11:28:41 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aeolus06 In reply to ElvenAngel [2012-10-10 00:56:22 +0000 UTC]

No problem. hope you had a good one

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to CaptainSpaceout [2012-10-04 11:28:50 +0000 UTC]

^__^ thank you!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to KakashiMorph [2012-10-04 11:28:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ElvenAngel In reply to Shahrezad [2012-10-02 12:02:34 +0000 UTC]

Yaaaay thank you~ *glomp*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0