118519 In reply to CinnamonDevil [2023-10-17 19:29:03 +0000 UTC]

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mentat0209 In reply to mentat0209 [2020-09-20 12:40:28 +0000 UTC]

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118519 In reply to mentat0209 [2020-09-24 08:27:42 +0000 UTC]

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2019-05-14 19:30:31 +0000 UTC]

Thank you Old Sport! I did, I took off work and got to see Tool live.

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2019-05-15 05:13:16 +0000 UTC]

You got to see Tool live? Lucky you!
I hope you had a good time, Old Bean. Tool always puts up a great show!  

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-06-01 18:56:47 +0000 UTC]

I've been good! I actually just put up a finished painting for sale at a local music shop! It's been the first large piece I've finished in years and it's just incredibly cathartic to get over that slump. (I can send you a picture in notes if you'd like.)

Things are going a lot better with Annette, though there aren't any medical updates to report. Since there's been no problems we've been focusing on getting her house in order (I was able to hire a couple friends of mine who are having financial troubles to help move things around so it's been nice to be able to help them and Annette at the same time.) We do still need to have some medical tests done to check for an increased genetic risk of breast cancer. 

You're more than welcome old sport! 

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-06-02 04:43:05 +0000 UTC]

Oh, a big painting? I gotta see that, Old Bean! Send the photo over! 
I am really glad to hear that you have gotten over that slump. There's nothing like a good (big, complicated) project to take your mind off the big picture and just let you focus on the details. I find that very cathartic, too. I mean, just look at me, I cut paper!  

I'm glad to hear that you've been able to help your friends and Annette out at the same time, too. That's killing two birds with one stone right there. In the meantime, please keep me posted, I'd be interested to know how things are going with the two of you!

Take care!

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-06-09 15:25:43 +0000 UTC]

I'll be sure to! I'd like to get a better quality picture of it though, rather then a low quality cell-phone picture. I really need to keep working and moving forward, perhaps I can outwork myself doubts and prove them wrong with a continuous set of paintings (though admittedly I've caught a snag with my most recent project,  I've been wanting to make mini-blacklight posters, and the first one I was going to make was an all florescent pink portrait of Anton LaVey... but all the high quality pink florescent paint I buy glows orange not pink...and while that wouldn't normally be an issues for something Satanic I always liked LaVey's use of neon pink and black for the Satanic Bible.)

Indeed it is! And I'll be sure to! 

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-06-10 01:21:26 +0000 UTC]

Speaking of crippling self-doubt: We start from here: oglaf.com/blank-page/ and sometimes end up here: oglaf.com/muse/
I think most of us have one of each... and at times one is more active than the other. The trick is to find the balance between the two, I find. I believe you have the ability to create something both big and cool, you just have to believe in it yourself, too. As far as the little snag goes... well, it -is- a bit of a snag, but not as big as you think. Depending on the light used (or how you capture the fluorescence), there's a small difference between the orange and the pink. (Heck, one person's orange can be another person's pink.) And sometimes it's just a matter of keep looking, that's all. But don't let that kind of small thing draw you back.  

Absolutely. Hope to hear from you soon!  

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-06-15 13:51:49 +0000 UTC]

ah Oglaf! Such a great comic! You know I lost track of it after a while, I really should get back to reading it.

Because of my painting being on display I'm chatting with a man right now about a tattoo design/painting he'd like from me! I really shouldn't, in fact I'm wondering if I got a piece of black felt board (and luckily I know where to get some!) is that wouldn't help bring out the pink...if nothing else it would at least give my work a more authentic black light poster vibe!
'

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-06-15 16:17:31 +0000 UTC]

For an "R"-rated comic, there's a lot to love about Oglaf. These two are probably around my favourite - after all, it's so very true! The cast has really expanded but I still like the individual comics. And yes, still very much worth your time.

Glad to hear that! Nothing quite like someone asking you about what you can do for them to give you an ego boost. This is just the beginning - businesses start with satisfied costumers!
Black felt, you say? That's a nice touch. It's almost like the whole black-velvet paintings that people used to do in the 70's. And that will definitely give your work a layer of authenticity. It's a great place to start.

Best of luck, Old Bean! Keep me posted.

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-07-06 13:17:39 +0000 UTC]

There really is! I especially love the priests of Sithrak the Blind Gibberer!

Indeed! He's even paying me for my concept sketches. Still working little details out before moving on to a final piece.
I hope so, I still need to get around to picking some up, I've been busy with commission sketches and well, sleep, but at least I'm still doing art, which feels great.  
I'm still finding it extremely difficult to find a florescent pink that glows pink though! And I'm not really sure who to talk to, not like there's a lot of people out there making these, and most of the art I do see that uses florescent colors are from folks working with body paint.

Oh, by the way, what I meant before in our discussion about feminism and representing it through Athena or Dionysus, was that I'm having a huge problem with proper nouns. That may sound a bit disjointed... but what I mean is, particularly with Feminism, is that the term has become so broad that it's lost a lot of cohesive meaning. It's become this personal thing people use to label themselves, rather than a stringent philosophy (which may or may not be a good thing.) and I wonder if that's because of the internet. Before, unless you were a part of a group and understood the sub-categories and cultures within it there was, at the very least, the illusion of uniformity presented to the general public via the media ("today on the WhoeverTheFuck Show, we have a small panel of WhicheverGroup to discuss how they feel and what they're about!") If I had to boil modern feminism down into two groups/ideas, one would definitely represent the needlessly bureaucratic stringent group that more often than not turns in on itself as members compete to be the most, "forward thinking" among the ranks, and is much more interested in creating and destroying enemies than addressing the issues that they were founded on. Then there are those who simply want people to be free to choose how they express themselves, and simply want to point out that many societal norms are subjective. My friend Chrystal is a lot like that, she doesn't shave her underarms or legs, she's comfortable looking both feminine or masculine, she questions societal norms and freely breaks them, but what makes her wonderful is that she doesn't press her version of normality on others. Annette even pointed out how she likes that Chrystal would never shame her for being overtly feminine, liking to cook and clean and wear make up, because that's her choice. The reason I brought up Dionysus as a feminist symbol is because in this context he represents a breaking of the societal norms placed upon women by an Athenian view (I really do need to read more into the history and practices of ancient Greek City-states mind you, it's been far too long... Like not since high school.) Perhaps I'm viewing Dionysus from a bit too much of a Satanic perspective (I do take issue with people who try to compare him to Satan though... I understand archetypes are meant to be broad... but still!) but any deity who gifts humans with wild and secret knowledge is alright in my book!   
          

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-07-07 15:09:06 +0000 UTC]

Oh, those two guys are delightful. I've never quite understood this, the Sithrak worshipped by those two seem like an awful guy, but the Sithrak referred to by Morag the Immortal seems to be much nicer. And when we actually see Sithrak... he seems to be more aligned with the God of Morag and the other Immortals, too. Not sure what's going on? 

Wow... that's one dedicated customer! And one of the greatest kind, too. I hope this one leads to a happy ending... and a happy beginning of more business to come! 
When it comes to fluorescent paint... I think part of the problem is pink glow is hard to achieve. And a lot of companies mix "neon" with "fluorescent". They are not the same thing, after all. I looked on like for a bit and this company seems to know what it's doing: coolglow.com/Glow-Paint/ so maybe you want to check them out. Then there's the Japanese "Mr. Colour" paint that's usually used for model kits. They do have a fluorescent pink: www.hiroboy.com/Mr_Color_Paint… And since it -is-the Japanese, I think they would know what they are talking about. So ask around for these guys, too. I hope this helps! 

Feminism, if you ask me, is a banner under which there is no longer a direction. It's like "fighting for freedom." (Or better yet, "Fight for peace.") We think we have a vague concept of what "this" thing is, but in reality, it's no longer true. You see, historically there are 3 waves of feminism. The first wave of fighting for gender equality included some very specific goals: education, voting rights and the right to inherit property. These are what we now consider fundamental rights, but they were hard-won victories. Feminism at that time was a political movement with identifiable goals that can be evaluated. Very Athenian, if you ask me. The Second wave was more about body politics - the ability to control pregnancies and births. This took place in the 50's to the 80's (and some say, it's still going.) This period came about -after- women had taken on the jobs of men during the wars and it was seen that women can do as much as men when given the chance. This time the social goals are soft - women have to "prove themselves", so to say. There are still a few hard goals, medico-legal ones, but the overall tone has changed in the movement. When the third wave came around, the one you are now referring to, the hard goals are gone and it's becoming more of a witch-hunt. Feminism was no longer a goal and an alignment and people have now taken to defining it however the heck they want. Most things have now become a matter of personal, subjective definitions versus someone else's personal, subjective definition. A free-for-all where nobody wins, really. 

So now you have women accusing other women of "not being a true feminist" without setting down the definitions. They accuse other of "not being like me", basically. Margret Sanger, the prime mover of the Planned Parenthood movement was a woman who threw her career as a nurse down and married twice. For some people in today's point of view, Sanger wouldn't be called a feminist, but without Sanger, we wouldn't have second wave of feminism. Today's third wave is a bit like a messianic cult bent on witch hunts and inquisitions without really having a set of creed laid out. And it'd be a shame to compare this hot mess to any of the deity worship in the past.  Sure, the fast and vast spread of information via social media has given this virulence an urgency and the ability for every Tom, Dick and Harry (or was it Jane, sue and Maria?) to demand to have their voices heard. Belligerence trumps over scholarship in the shouting match of who has the loudest voice.

Dionysus's cult of ecstasy gave women power in a period when they don't have power. But this is not the time or the place. What women don't understand is that they do have power - a lot of it, really Compared to their predecessors, they have a lot of legal, above-the-table power. They are no longer living as legal secondary citizens. To resort to the "secret powers" of mystery (and subversion, some might say), is actually detrimental to the overall goal of being equal. (But all things considered, I do agree with you. Athena is an awful - and strangely appropriate - figurehead for feminism.) 

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-07-13 15:27:45 +0000 UTC]

I believe that was explained in a strip where they meet Sithrak, he gets rather embarrassed and explains the gospel they've been spreading is actually just a bunch of angsty breakup poetry he'd written back in college! He'd apparently misplaced it and was mortified someone had found it.

Well after having checked out those sites I ended up finding Blacklight.com, and bought some paints by them under the name Wildfire, they seem to be very high quality paints and after looking up a youtube video on them I saw that their pink actually glowed pink! Thank you so much for the help though! The model kit paints might actually help out with a project I've been sitting on for quite some time now. For Annette and I's anniversary (first date) last year I'd bought a model kit of Frankenstein's monster and his bride. It's beautifully detailed, and a bit overwhelming for someone who's never constructed one before! So I never ended up starting it, but my plan was to paint everything in black whites and grays, but paint the Monster and the Bride's skin fluorescent colors! I already picked up some paints, but if they don't work now I know where to buy new ones! I very recently came into possession of one of the first Sandman figures ever made (at least I assume so, it was made back in 1991, so only two years after the comic came out and five years before it would end.) along with some Crow figures. All of them need paint and work, and the guy who sold them for me (he only asked 50 for the figure of Dream, who usually goes for between 500-1,000 online.) offered to show me how to clean and paint them. So hopefully I can start working on those as well, slowly but surely. 

I don't think it's just feminism that's fallen into the trap of... Is there a word for this? A group becoming too subjective and personalized that all centralized meaning is lost? "Cluster-Schism" maybe? It's a great example of it, sadly, but I feel like so many more groups have become like that, maybe it's "post-modernism" at its worse here? I guess recently, with everything feeling so chaotic I just feel this need to implode, recenter myself and try to move forward. It's like everything's become some Zen Buddhist meditation (from what little I know of Zen Buddhism... I really need to read more.) of contradictory insanity. "The president just Tweeted that we're sending naval ships past North Korea! Oh wait, no, they were going the other way! Is that technically a deceleration of war or just a typo?" (the Joker's monologue from The Killing Joke comes to mind, "do you know how many times we've come close to World War 3 because of a flock of geese on a computer screen?") Can't change the world, I can only change myself. 

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-07-15 07:05:29 +0000 UTC]

I remember that strip! I guess I haven't put two and two together quite yet.  

Oh, that's great to hear! Finally, a pink paint that actually glows pink! And congratulations on finding these very rare figures, too. I think I have seen that specific Dream figure you are talking about. The last time I saw it... and that was many years ago, it was going for somewhere around $250. I can only imagine how much higher the price tag it must be now. So you've really got yourself a fine deal. Now, if you haven't painted on figurines in the past, I do have someone who put together a series of instructional videos (mostly on how to paint garage kits). But this lady goes through the basics and even shading and painting faces. So you might find this helpful: leonasworkshop.com/how-to/ If you manage to pain the Frankenstein set, I'd love to see it! I think it will be quite the project! 

I think the word you are looking for might be "Denomination schism." After all, your description pretty much fits what every religious denomination had gone through before breaking away to become "their own thing." It's not a post-modern problem, of course. But we are seeing more of it in the post-modern era, that's for sure. What you are thinking is something called a "Koan" that exist in Zen Buddhism. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C5%8Da… I hate to say this, but nothing quite like watching the news to elicit this feeling of "great doubt" about the world that we are living in. It's quite unfortunate, really. At the end of the day, one person cannot change the world. But this one person can change himself, and maybe one or two other people around him. But if you extrapolate this equation, sometimes one person can do a lot to make a difference. It's the matter of fighting the fights that are worth fighting for. It's going to be a hard question to answer, for sure. But that's the test that we call life, isn't it, Old Bean?

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2018-01-26 13:36:27 +0000 UTC]

It seems I never got a reply to our last conversation (I wonder if anyone's ever gone down the rabbit hole of one of our long talks on here?) ... So I've decided to reply to this one, though to be perfectly honest I can't remember what it was we were talking about. 

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2018-01-29 07:59:01 +0000 UTC]

Hello! 

Sorry about being late! 
The thing is... I have messages backed up all the way to before Christmas. And the reason why I haven't been able to get back to them is because I have been sick... and busy (and busy being sick... and sick of being busy. ) And honestly, the messages pile up faster than I can answer sometimes. It's not an idea situation, that's for sure. 

I will get back to you on our last conversation, however. I am still doing my best. It'll take probably about a couple of days doing nothing else to get these over 100 messages all answered. It's just too bad that I don't have that kind of time now. But please be patient with me. I will find that time!

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2019-05-15 12:03:56 +0000 UTC]

Ello!

Once again it's quite alright. Take your time old sport (hell take a day off from here if you need it, I, and I'm sure your large following of friends should understand.) You really are a popular bloke on here! Not that I can't understand why mind you. But patient I shall be.

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2019-05-16 03:26:29 +0000 UTC]

Salut! 

Thanks a million for your understanding! I am trying really hard t make sure that my inbox is clean at the end of the day (well, as clean as possible... ) I am not usually very successful. But I try my best! I don't think of myself as popular, but I do see myself as having responsibilities here. I don't have a large following, but I do have a lovely group of friends here. It's hard for me to break away from wonderful people like you. And as long as you are still taking to me, I want to make sure I never leave you behind!  

But yes... soon! I'll be with you soon! (tomorrow, for sure!)

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2019-05-16 15:34:54 +0000 UTC]

Ha! Again, take your time. Now I wonder if I should be even sending this reply? I don't want to add to your already massive amount of messages.

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2019-05-17 02:49:06 +0000 UTC]

No problems, no problems. 
When I said it'll be done, it will be done. I might be slow, but if I set up a deadline, I'm good!

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-02-18 13:21:43 +0000 UTC]

Things are going quite well actually! Again, my apologies for the incredibly late reply. 

How have you been good sir?

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-02-19 02:39:21 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I never mind your "incredibly late replies". 
All I need to know is that you are doing well. And that's all that matters to me! 

I've got an exam coming up in May. Unfortunately, I've also been happily procrastinating.  
Other than that... I am glad to say that I am doing quite well. Good news for once, hein? 

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-02-22 17:21:25 +0000 UTC]

I am, all things considered! Though, and this is a bit of a downer I suppose, I had a seizure a little over a month ago. No lasting damage luckily and I am now just starting on a medication to prevent it from happening again. 

Like a medical exam? Or an educational one?

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-02-23 03:27:15 +0000 UTC]

Seizure? Oh, dear me... that's not good. 
How are you coping with it? Everything OK? Did you hurt yourself? 

Well... my "educational" exam -is- a medical exam, after all... 
But this is my board exam. If I pass it, I get to be a fully-fledged doctor. So... yeah. Scary stuff, this.

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-02-25 10:09:41 +0000 UTC]

Physically I'm quite alright now. At the time I blacked out (I assumed I just fell asleep on the couch downstairs while playing video games.) woke up several hours later and I have urinated on myself, dug my left middle and ring finger into my hand hard enough for the nails to break the skin, wrenched my back horribly, it hurt to get up and walk, and bit both sides of my tongue which had scabbed and swollen. At first I didn't even think I had had a seizure and just though maybe I had just messed myself in my sleep...but after someone pointed out the obvious symptoms we went to see a primary doctor.

He sent me to have an MRI (which I have a CD of now! The tech asked me if my doctor requested one, I told him no, but I'd take one anyway.) which reveled no abnormalities outside of a sinus infection. Then an EEG scan, which according to my neurologist (who my primary forgot to book my appointment with after I saw him the first time about the seizure... But then asked me how my appointment went after I set up a second meeting with him to discuss the EEG results... Which I then informed him that I never went to see a neurologist because he said it would be a while before he could get me in to one... He kind of passed the blame onto "someone at the front desk" and had them book me my actual appointment.) showed that I had a Partial Onset Seizure in my left hemisphere. So... overall I'm okay, other than being a bit stressed and anxious, but that's normal for me I suppose XD.

Indeed! Well I have faith in you Old Sport! I'm sure you'll do marvelous  

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-02-26 02:14:55 +0000 UTC]

Oh, dear me... that must have been one heck of an experience. Sounds like you had quite a scare! I remember getting an MRI, too (they didn't give me a CD but they said they would! ) That wasn't a pleasant feeling at all, all things considered. But I am glad to hear that things are getting solved. And hopefully this is only going to be a one-time deal! (Or did the neurologist say you have to get on meds?) One thing that I find with seizures is that it's not so much the medication that causes trouble, or even the seizure itself. It's about the other problems that come hand in hand with it. In Canada, we have to suspend the licence of people with a seizure disorder until they are at least 6 months seizure-free. Imagine not being able to get around! Insurances would sometimes give you fleck for having a seizure, too. Basically... it's the "everything else" that is really nasty to deal with. But hopefully this won't be a problem for you!  

Please take care of yourself and best of luck! 

... Thank you, Old Bean. I'll do my best!

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-02-26 12:29:00 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, luckily I don't remember the actual seizure, which I hear is common.

We have laws like that here too, though it varies from state to state. Luckily in Missouri it's just recommended that you don't drive for six months without incident, and having your license flagged is up to the neurologist. Mine told me to just be cautious, though I will have to go on medication now :/ (he did let me know it was the newest stuff they have, designed to simply target the problem area rather than the whole brain. He even gave me two weeks worth of starter pills free so we would have time to make sure my insurance covers everything. Which I'm happy to say it does.)

I'm sure you will! Please do keep me posted and let me know how it goes

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-02-27 03:34:39 +0000 UTC]

Depending on the kind of seizure, a lot of people don't quite remember what had happened. And I think it's a good thing for most people! 

Oh, that's great to know! Looks like you've met up with a pretty cool neurologist. (I tell you, personally I hate taking people's drivers' licences away. It's got to be one of the worst part of my job; hands down.) Going on meds is one of those annoying but necessary things. I have heard of people whose dosages can change over the years - and some may eventually go off of them. The new stuff tends to be a little nicer with fewer side effects. So I hope things work out for you and this new drug (what is it, by the way? If you don't mind telling me?) And I hope the insurance will cover it! :nod; 

Absolutely, Old Bean. The tests are towards the end of May. So right now it's cramming time!

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118519 In reply to SinistrosePhosphate [2017-02-28 17:28:40 +0000 UTC]

I agree!

Indeed, we were a bit worried at first because he didn't have the best reviews when it came to bed-side manor, but either those reviews were misleading, or he had read them and decided to follow their advice because he answered all my questions and took time to explain everything. It helped quite a bit. (I'm actually pretty lucky, if I lived one state over in Illinois I'd have to have my licence flagged for 6 months, mandatory.) My insurance has, and its called Aptiom. I'm taking 200mg tablets right now, and I'll be uping the dosage to 400mg at the end of a two week period, and I'll continue that till I get to 800mg; then see how I feel on that dosage and figure out where to go from there.

Again, best of luck though I'm sure you don't need it.  

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SinistrosePhosphate In reply to 118519 [2017-03-01 07:17:26 +0000 UTC]

I think the "Rate my doctor" thing has really helped a lot of patients - doctors read them and actually try to change. (Well, some of them do, at least.) But the downside of it is that a lot of the times the people who leave them are the folks who are disgruntled for one reason or another. It's more common for people to leave a bad review than a good one. That might have been what happened to your doctor, too. And there are a lot of human issues behind these interactions. Either way... no matter what happened, it sounds like you lucked out. He wasn't such a bad guy after all! 

Aptiom is one of the newest drugs on the market (it wasn't even there when I was in medical school!) But the important thing is, it's working. Most of the time with seizure drugs, the dosage that makes you well is not the dosage that will keep you well. Most people have their dosages tweaked multiple times through out their life times and they may eventually stop. So that's not such a bad news. It may just mean medications for a period instead of life-long. And whew... you dodged a bullet with the drivers' licence bit, that's for sure! We're stringent in Canada, too. Suspension until you are 6 months seizure-free! 

Thanks a million, Old Bean. I will take all the luck I can get!

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